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Just had huge argument with parents

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I don't see why she's trying to bring the fact that she doesn't work in her own favor?
Because she doesn't work is exactly why she can afford to spend more time cooking the right things and taking care of the house!

Your parents are just not appreciating you enough. You're not in the wrong for having spoken out.

Reply 21

<3m&s

I don't think you have any right to complain about the food your mother cooks for you, especially given the fact that you're an adult, and she's allowing you to continue living at home.

Reply 22

ProgressDesired

Let's swap places for a month or two!! I always tell my mum to cook less and cook things that aren't fat because I'm trying to lose weight, but she just cooks and cooks and it's good and I stuff myself with food and am overweight. You'd gain weight and I'd lose some... 5kg per 3 weeks is more than I could ever manage... lol It's win-win.

Failing that, can't you have a Subway or a burger now and again to keep the calories comin' in?

Michael

Reply 23

Lidka

<3m&s

I don't think you have any right to complain about the food your mother cooks for you, especially given the fact that you're an adult, and she's allowing you to continue living at home.

Being 'allowed' back home doesn't mean the OP should have a crap diet, though. I mean, for one thing, it's basically not healthy to lose that amount of weight, especially not in conjunction with large amounts of oil or salt. :s-smilie:

And parents should care about your health, regardless of the favours they may (or may not) be giving you.

I had a problem similar to this last summer when I was living away from home, and my hosts had a completely different eating pattern to what I was used to. They ate very small amounts of food because the female members of the family were very weight-conscious, and I suppose they just didn't appreciate that my body would require different food. I was basically eating only one real meal a day for over a month, and it was horrible. I lost a lot of weight and was constantly hungry. I couldn't say anything because it was their hospitality, and a different culture to boot, but if it's your family, then you can, at least, talk to them. OP, just keep pushing: tell them you will cook a certain amount of times a week as a 'thank you' to your mum - maybe to ease yourself in, offer to help while she's cooking. She just needs to be used to having you in the kitchen, else you'll never be able to cook properly. Also, go shopping with her: introduce her to new things that you like, and point out healthier choices. Try telling her gently that she doesn't need to use so much oil- instead of pouring it, buy her one of those sprayer things.

Re: the academic pressure they put on you, it sounds in general like your family doesn't respect your views very much. Obviously how you eat is an important part of that, and it's important that that gets tackled quickly, but if things come to a head, maybe suggest a couple of sessions of family counselling with Relate or similar? Nothing heavy, it's a chance to talk clearly to each other with a mediator instead of arguing. Your parents may not like the idea, but it's just something to bear in mind if the atmosphere at home gets really nasty.

Reply 24

FrancisM89

-pixie-

And my boyfriend who plays rugby has managed to lose 30 pounds! There's not gonna be anything left of us!

How long over? :eek:

Reply 25

Lalli

-pixie-

I understand.. what I meant was I thought it might seem a bit stupid with me and my boyfriend eating something different to my parents even roudn the same table! Also ends up as a bit more hassle and money. I guess that might be the only way though.

hmm but technically if you're mums paying for the food i guess you have to eat what shes made, why dont you just encourage her nicely or go shopping with her and point out things you would like and mayb she could try it 2

Reply 26

Yusuf.T

cook for yourself and also dont expect everyone to be sympathetic to you.
instead of wasting time posting your drama online for the world to see why not just get on with things, try and come to some common ground with your parents b/c i doubt you asking TSR is really gonna do much.

Reply 27

Greatleysteg

-pixie-

Hi

I don't normally post in here but just feeling realy frustrated. When I was younger, I was severely underweight- 5ft6 and about 45kg. Since going to university I picked up sports, ate more and more healthily and have grown to 5ft8 and now 58-59kg which is a lot better. I go to the gym 4 times a week and am realy into it. I've graduated from uni now and have moved back home to start a new job cos I wanna save up money to buy my own place. The problem is that my mum doesn't cook enough and she cooks the wrong things. She likes putting a lot of salt and oil into things and cooks nowhere near enough. I've lost 5kg over about 3 weeks.

I didn't say anything because she doesn't work and is a housewife. Whenever I bring things up I'm not happy with, even though I'm being polite, she takes it personally and starts crying saying I'm ungrateful for what she does and she puts so muhc effort in I should just accept what she does etc etc. My boyfriend said as I've been losing stupid amounts of weight and getting very lethargic, I should say something. It turned into a huge argument where (surprise surprise) she brought up the "she doesn't work, stays at home, cooks for everyone, I should appreciate her more" babble.

Now everything's awkward. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm always the one who is in the wrong even though I have done nothing wrong.

What do you all think? There's tonnes of other family issues there basically around my parents putting too much pressure on me (successfully) to achieve academically.

Seriously underweight? I'm 5"7 and ~52kg, and I'm not underweight at all.

Cook for yourself, or eat while you're out. Buy things like bread, rice, pasta which are cheap and will fill you up.

Reply 28

llys

Hi Pixie, can you tell me (PM me if you don't mind) how you changed your diet to gain weight? Because I have your initial problem, whatever I eat nothing sticks. The only sport I do is swimming though and I guess that's not great for building up muscular weight. erm..

How about you have lunch with your boyfriend and dinner with your mum? Or how about instead of offering to cook randomly, say you make a routine where you get to cook every tuesday, thursday, saturday - you get the idea.