My wife slapped my daughter? Watch

TheMadNerd93
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#181
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#181
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)

It's as if the OP is trying to create provocative debate on spoilt children and ineffectual parenting.
That's the EXACT SAME IDEA that has plunged into my mind earlier today after having checked out the further responses over here.
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Zain_Ahmed
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#182
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#182
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 44-year-old white man married with 4 kids. My daughter is my youngest and she turned 14 two weeks ago (on December 23).

My mother-in-law passed away a few days ago and we were at the funeral today. When everyone was greiving, I noticed my daughter playing Modern Combat on her phone. My wife saw her playing and told her to put the phone away but she just said "whatever" and continued to play.

A few minutes later, she noticed my daughter was still playing on her phone. In front of everybody, she pulled my daughter's phone out of her hands and smashed it. My daughter started screaming. I don't remember everything she said, but it included: "You ****ing *****! What the **** are you doing?! I ****ing hate you, go **** yourself!" My daughter then kicked my wife in the leg and my wife lost it and slapped her across the face as hard as she could. I was shocked. 22 years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our eldest son, we made a promise to never use violence against our kids. My father used to beat me for not listening to him or saying something he didn't like. Today I can barely stand the sight of him. Everytime I saw him or heard his voice, those nightmares came back and it took days and sometimes even weeks before I could think about something else. That was the reason I moved out at 18. I couldn't bear it anymore.

Anyway, my daughter started crying and I went to hug and console her. My wife told her that she was a disrespectful spoiled brat, that she will never have a phone until she is 18 and that she was grounded. I understand how hard it is to lose a parent but I just can't believe that she hit our daughter. She broke the promise and I don't know how disappointed I am. And I know my daughter was wrong but no matter what she did, I would never have raised a hand against her. As someone who was beaten by his father for 18 years, I know how much damage violence and abuse can do to a child.

My daughter cried for the whole car ride and even after we came home. She went upstairs to her room and I followed her. I tried to comfort her. I told her that she will get a new phone on her 15th birthday (which is in December) and that what her mother did was wrong and that she is sorry. But my daughter said she hates her mother and that she will never forgive her. About half an hour later, I had a talk with my wife and she said: "I'm done with that apathetic heartless disrespectful brat. I can't handle her anymore."

I don't know what to do. They don't even talk to each other and I'm serious. I need help because I don't want them to hate or dislike each other. I want to fix their relationship.
I think she done the wrong thing but had the right intentions.. I mean, look at your daughters' behaviour. At a funeral, playing a game infront of everyone. And when a parent commands their child to do something as simple as "put your phone away".. The child should put their phone away.. That's what I do.
The problem is, no offence, your parenting. You have allowed your child to get to this point where she is randomly yelling and cussing at a funeral. You shouldn't then promise her that you'll buy her a new phone. This will make her think that's it's acceptable for her to behave that way as you suddenly jumped to comfort her instead of telling her what she did wrong. You should give your daughter a large and harsh punishment (no violence needed) to make her feel how badly she behaved.

Plus why can't you say "our daughter"??
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black tea
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#183
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#183
(Original post by MiaNova)
I'm starting to think you're a troll
Yes, either a troll or intellectually-challenged.
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Anonymous #4
#184
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#184
(Original post by Anonymous)
My wife grounded my daughter for 2 months (No TV, no video games, no phone, no friends, no dessert, no parties etc). I think even that is too harsh. Usually we don't ground our kids more than 2 weeks. And I've spoken with my wife about the phone and she agreed. There is really no need let her wait till she is 18.

I know my wife was greiving and I know how sad she is. I also know that my daughter was wrong. But that doesn't mean she should be slapped. Slapping doesn't solve the problem. It only makes it worse.

Yes, she was playing video games at her grandmother's funeral.

Yes, she swore and kicked her mother.

But she's only 14. She might not even know it was wrong to play video games at a funeral. And my wife suddenly took her iPhone 11 and smashed it. It cost $749.

My wife grounded her for 2 months.


Most teens and children have cell phones. Even my 8-year-old niece has one.
'only 14' is not a damn excuse. my siblings are 8 and 11, and they wouldnt dare kick their parents or play a game at a funeral, regardless of who's funeral it is. and your 8 y/o neice has a phone? i see spoiling your children unecessarily is a family thing. kids shouldnt get a phone until they need to, which is when they start secondary school in my opinion and actually need to start forming connections in the real world. games on a phone is a bloody bonus. i dont think ive had any games downloaded on my phone since i was 13
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Burton Bridge
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#185
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#185
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 44-year-old white man married with 4 kids. My daughter is my youngest and she turned 14 two weeks ago (on December 23).

My mother-in-law passed away a few days ago and we were at the funeral today. When everyone was greiving, I noticed my daughter playing Modern Combat on her phone. My wife saw her playing and told her to put the phone away but she just said "whatever" and continued to play.

A few minutes later, she noticed my daughter was still playing on her phone. In front of everybody, she pulled my daughter's phone out of her hands and smashed it. My daughter started screaming. I don't remember everything she said, but it included: "You ****ing *****! What the **** are you doing?! I ****ing hate you, go **** yourself!" My daughter then kicked my wife in the leg and my wife lost it and slapped her across the face as hard as she could. I was shocked. 22 years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our eldest son, we made a promise to never use violence against our kids. My father used to beat me for not listening to him or saying something he didn't like. Today I can barely stand the sight of him. Everytime I saw him or heard his voice, those nightmares came back and it took days and sometimes even weeks before I could think about something else. That was the reason I moved out at 18. I couldn't bear it anymore.

Anyway, my daughter started crying and I went to hug and console her. My wife told her that she was a disrespectful spoiled brat, that she will never have a phone until she is 18 and that she was grounded. I understand how hard it is to lose a parent but I just can't believe that she hit our daughter. She broke the promise and I don't know how disappointed I am. And I know my daughter was wrong but no matter what she did, I would never have raised a hand against her. As someone who was beaten by his father for 18 years, I know how much damage violence and abuse can do to a child.

My daughter cried for the whole car ride and even after we came home. She went upstairs to her room and I followed her. I tried to comfort her. I told her that she will get a new phone on her 15th birthday (which is in December) and that what her mother did was wrong and that she is sorry. But my daughter said she hates her mother and that she will never forgive her. About half an hour later, I had a talk with my wife and she said: "I'm done with that apathetic heartless disrespectful brat. I can't handle her anymore."

I don't know what to do. They don't even talk to each other and I'm serious. I need help because I don't want them to hate or dislike each other. I want to fix their relationship.
This is what happens when you try to be a friend instead of a parent. Your daughter disrespected her mother and physically assaulted her on the worst day of your wife's life, and you are bothered about a slap.

There is a huge difference between discipline and abuse, you sound like you have veered along way off track towards bringing a respectful person into the world.
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StriderHort
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#186
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#186
God, this is still dragging on? Why hasn't she left home yet?
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holly6901
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#187
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#187
your daughter sounds a bit bratty. Your wife hitting her probably wasn't the best way to discipline her but she was caught up in emotion of her mum dying and her daughter being quite frankly disrespectful. Your daughter definitely wants a phone and not getting her one is going to cut off her social circle through social media but teaching her when to use it will greatly help your situation
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Anonymous #1
#188
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#188
(Original post by Zain_Ahmed)
I think she done the wrong thing but had the right intentions.. I mean, look at your daughters' behaviour. At a funeral, playing a game infront of everyone. And when a parent commands their child to do something as simple as "put your phone away".. The child should put their phone away.. That's what I do.
The problem is, no offence, your parenting. You have allowed your child to get to this point where she is randomly yelling and cussing at a funeral. You shouldn't then promise her that you'll buy her a new phone. This will make her think that's it's acceptable for her to behave that way as you suddenly jumped to comfort her instead of telling her what she did wrong. You should give your daughter a large and harsh punishment (no violence needed) to make her feel how badly she behaved.

Plus why can't you say "our daughter"??
Fine, I'm a bad parent. Fine, I'm a bad husband. Fine, I'm a bad person. But seriously? Do you really agree with physical violence? Maybe she was wrong but violence shouldn't be the answer.

"Plus why can't you say "our daughter"??" Was saying "my daughter" wrong? It's much more common to write "my daughter" than "our daughter".

(Original post by black tea)
Yes, either a troll or intellectually-challenged.
Well, I'm not a troll. Believe what you want. I don't really care.

(Original post by Anonymous)
'only 14' is not a damn excuse. my siblings are 8 and 11, and they wouldnt dare kick their parents or play a game at a funeral, regardless of who's funeral it is. and your 8 y/o neice has a phone? i see spoiling your children unecessarily is a family thing. kids shouldnt get a phone until they need to, which is when they start secondary school in my opinion and actually need to start forming connections in the real world. games on a phone is a bloody bonus. i dont think ive had any games downloaded on my phone since i was 13
Everyone is different.

(Original post by Burton Bridge)
This is what happens when you try to be a friend instead of a parent. Your daughter disrespected her mother and physically assaulted her on the worst day of your wife's life, and you are bothered about a slap.

There is a huge difference between discipline and abuse, you sound like you have veered along way off track towards bringing a respectful person into the world.
Fine, I'm not thinking about it actually. What's done is done. There is no need to bother about that anymore.

(Original post by StriderHort)
God, this is still dragging on? Why hasn't she left home yet?
She's 14.

(Original post by holly6901)
your daughter sounds a bit bratty. Your wife hitting her probably wasn't the best way to discipline her but she was caught up in emotion of her mum dying and her daughter being quite frankly disrespectful. Your daughter definitely wants a phone and not getting her one is going to cut off her social circle through social media but teaching her when to use it will greatly help your situation
She apologized and promised to never do it again. But maybe I will get her a phone and then set a time limit (maybe 2 hours a day). I agree that my daughter is spoiled. She's the youngest of 4 and she usually gets what she wants.

Anyway, I think I'll just let the water under the bridge. At least my daughter promised to never do it again.
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Anonymous #4
#189
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#189
im done arguing with someone who clearly cant accept that their child wont learn via a simple 'apology'. from what im hearing, she isnt really the self reflective type. but its your child i suppose
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gjd800
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#190
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#190
Next time deliver a People's Elbow instead
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Burton Bridge
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#191
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#191
(Original post by Anonymous)
Fine, I'm not thinking about it actually. What's done is done. There is no need to bother about that anymore.
Well
1) you clearly are thinking about it or you would be putting it on here!
2) I seriously would suggest you do think about it and act on it, for a multitude of reasons;

i) You could be rising a monster if you dont prepare her for the world, that's your job as a parent. Society treats young women very differently to middle aged men like us.
ii) Not preparing your child for the world and leaving them open to act in ways wider society wint tolerate, is an alternate form of abuse.
iii) You already know spoiled your girl, you know that she acted abhorrently but you are allowing the historic abuses you suffered to cloud consume you.
iv) You care and want to do the correct thing.

Quit with the self pity "Fine, I'm a bad parent. Fine, I'm a bad husband. Fine, I'm a bad person." And all that nonsense! Man up support your wife first and foremost, apologise to her for the way you undermined her, support her through her bereavement and litterally blank your daughter take every single thing off her, ps4, even favourite foods, make it clear she crossed a line that wont be tolerated, she disrespected her grandmother, mother entire family. Explain your personal abuse and why you will never strike her, explain anger and how it makes you do silly things, use kicking of her mother as an example. If a stupid phone made her lash out, imagine how SHE made her mother feel! Reassure your daughter you both love her and are doing what you are doing because you love her. And remember, if she acts like she did in the real world away from people who do love her, she would get a hell of it more than a slap, that is why she needs to change.
Last edited by Burton Bridge; 4 weeks ago
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AH-64 APACHE
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#192
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#192
I'm sorry but you're daughter's actions and attitude is unacceptable. If she was younger then maybe not listenening would be acceptable but attacking her mother is not. My dad used to beat the crap out of me until recently if I was a brat or misbehaved repeatedly , he only stopped after I started arguing/fighting back, but honestly, he's not a bad man and I am somewhat grateful he instilled some discipline into me. If I had done what has happened here I would not be allowed a new phone flat out ever unless I brought it myself, and would honestly be in for worst. I'm not saying to ever raise a hand to your daughter, I wouldn't do it to my own kids if I have them, but show here that she DOES have things to lose.
Last edited by AH-64 APACHE; 4 weeks ago
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dinaa_1
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#193
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#193
Why is a 44 year old man on The Student Room? The STUDENT Room..
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Burton Bridge
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#194
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#194
(Original post by dinaa_1)
Why is a 44 year old man on The Student Room? The STUDENT Room..
It's open to parents also. Also there are plenty of middle aged students! Why hes sharing this story on here is a little strange, I grant you.
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Bio 7
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#195
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#195
(Original post by Burton Bridge)
It's open to parents also. Also there are plenty of middle aged students! Why hes sharing this story on here is a little strange, I grant you.
Because he's probably trolling with it.
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Zed03
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#196
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#196
Your daughter's a *****
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Burton Bridge
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(Original post by Bio 7)
Because he's probably trolling with it.
He might be mate
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