My wife slapped my daughter? Watch

heermeet
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#61
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#61
(Original post by KatieLeah)
honestly if i was the mother. and i know mothers have different parenting skills and i respect that but if i was a mother or it was my mothers she’d keep her cool and in a calm voice tell me to leave and to go somewhere else instead of making it worse and into a bigger scene at her mothers funeral, i know not everyone would agree but that’s how i it my mother would handle it
And if the daughter refused to leave?
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hmm44
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 44-year-old white man married with 4 kids. My daughter is my youngest and she turned 14 two weeks ago (on December 23).

My mother-in-law passed away a few days ago and we were at the funeral today. When everyone was greiving, I noticed my daughter playing Modern Combat on her phone. My wife saw her playing and told her to put the phone away but she just said "whatever" and continued to play.

A few minutes later, she noticed my daughter was still playing on her phone. In front of everybody, she pulled my daughter's phone out of her hands and smashed it. My daughter started screaming. I don't remember everything she said, but it included: "You f*ucking bit**! What the f*uck are you doing?! I f*ucking hate you, go f*uck yourself!" My daughter then kicked my wife in the leg and my wife lost it and slapped her across the face as hard as she could. I was shocked. 22 years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our eldest son, we made a promise to never use violence against our kids. My father used to beat me for not listening to him or saying something he didn't like. Today I can barely stand the sight of him. Everytime I saw him or heard his voice, those nightmares came back and it took days and sometimes even weeks before I could think about something else. That was the reason I moved out at 18. I couldn't bear it anymore.

Anyway, my daughter started crying and I went to hug and console her. My wife told her that she was a disrespectful spoiled brat, that she will never have a phone until she is 18 and that she was grounded. I understand how hard it is to lose a parent but I just can't believe that she hit our daughter. She broke the promise and I don't know how disappointed I am. And I know my daughter was wrong but no matter what she did, I would never have raised a hand against her. As someone who was beaten by his father for 18 years, I know how much damage violence and abuse can do to a child.

My daughter cried for the whole car ride and even after we came home. She went upstairs to her room and I followed her. I tried to comfort her. I told her that she will get a new phone on her 15th birthday (which is in December) and that what her mother did was wrong and that she is sorry. But my daughter said she hates her mother and that she will never forgive her. About half an hour later, I had a talk with my wife and she said: "I'm done with that apathetic heartless disrespectful brat. I can't handle her anymore."

I don't know what to do. They don't even talk to each other and I'm serious. I need help because I don't want them to hate or dislike each other. I want to fix their relationship.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 44-year-old white man married with 4 kids. My daughter is my youngest and she turned 14 two weeks ago (on December 23).

My mother-in-law passed away a few days ago and we were at the funeral today. When everyone was greiving, I noticed my daughter playing Modern Combat on her phone. My wife saw her playing and told her to put the phone away but she just said "whatever" and continued to play.

A few minutes later, she noticed my daughter was still playing on her phone. In front of everybody, she pulled my daughter's phone out of her hands and smashed it. My daughter started screaming. I don't remember everything she said, but it included: "You f*ucking bit**! What the f*uck are you doing?! I f*ucking hate you, go f*uck yourself!" My daughter then kicked my wife in the leg and my wife lost it and slapped her across the face as hard as she could. I was shocked. 22 years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our eldest son, we made a promise to never use violence against our kids. My father used to beat me for not listening to him or saying something he didn't like. Today I can barely stand the sight of him. Everytime I saw him or heard his voice, those nightmares came back and it took days and sometimes even weeks before I could think about something else. That was the reason I moved out at 18. I couldn't bear it anymore.

Anyway, my daughter started crying and I went to hug and console her. My wife told her that she was a disrespectful spoiled brat, that she will never have a phone until she is 18 and that she was grounded. I understand how hard it is to lose a parent but I just can't believe that she hit our daughter. She broke the promise and I don't know how disappointed I am. And I know my daughter was wrong but no matter what she did, I would never have raised a hand against her. As someone who was beaten by his father for 18 years, I know how much damage violence and abuse can do to a child.

My daughter cried for the whole car ride and even after we came home. She went upstairs to her room and I followed her. I tried to comfort her. I told her that she will get a new phone on her 15th birthday (which is in December) and that what her mother did was wrong and that she is sorry. But my daughter said she hates her mother and that she will never forgive her. About half an hour later, I had a talk with my wife and she said: "I'm done with that apathetic heartless disrespectful brat. I can't handle her anymore."

I don't know what to do. They don't even talk to each other and I'm serious. I need help because I don't want them to hate or dislike each other. I want to fix their relationship.
I understand why you may be disappointed. In all honesty, Pray about it. Even if you’re not a Christian, God will still help you out in this situation, trust me. Pray for : 1. Being able to forgive your wife and your daughter for their actions at the funeral . 2. For your wife and daughter’s relationship to rebuild. 3. Being able to forgive your father for all those years of abuse.
you may want to use the bible app YouVersion to read scriptures and forgiveness.

Lastly Matthew 7:7 says “Ask and it shall be given onto you,seek and ye shall find,knock and it shall be given onto you”
This just means to keep praying about the situation and never stop praying until the situation resolves. Never give up !
Also make sure you thank the Lord for your beautiful family regardless on what’s going on right now.

May the Lord be with you (Amen)
Tell me how it goes !!
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heermeet
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#63
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#63
(Original post by MiaNova)
I have one question, what on earth was the father (OP) doing whilst this was all going on? :confused:
being a typical useless waste of space as always, by the looks of it
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ygibxo
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#64
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#64
I understand any feelings of betrayal due to the broken promise, but your daughter was in the wrong. The fact that she was on her phone at a funeral is one thing, but to have a tantrum like a toddler and kick her mum? Well deserved. You should speak to your wife and ask her to resort to other methods when handling situations like that and tell her what you’ve basically just said here. As for your daughter, she is FOURTEEN. You need to help her work on her behaviour.
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black tea
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#65
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I think your wife's actions were totally justified. A slap in a situation like this is not even remotely comparable to the abuse you went through as a child. Your daughter will be absolutely fine.
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RandomHumanBeing
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#66
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(Original post by KatieLeah)
honestly if i was the mother. and i know mothers have different parenting skills and i respect that but if i was a mother or it was my mothers she’d keep her cool and in a calm voice tell me to leave and to go somewhere else instead of making it worse and into a bigger scene at her mothers funeral, i know not everyone would agree but that’s how i it my mother would handle it
A big scene? Yes, I think economically breaking the phone was an L, but I'm sorry that the mother got upset at her own mother's funeral, how could she do such a thing? Since you want everything to be delineated, that was sarcasm. I'm 15 and I've been reading your responses and whilst I do sympathise with your past experiences, that doesn't nullify the fact that the mother gave the warning, was kicked by the child for throwing a phone that, let's be honest, the mum was probably paying for, and then was sworn at in front of the whole group. This is genuine disrespect. I understand the promise that the parents made years ago but this is beyond that; of course the mother's emotions would be shaky at a funeral. How dare the 14 year old have such little regard for the emotions of her mother like that? And, as a rule of thumb, if you hit someone, you should expect to be hit back. Better for this 14 year old to learn that now rather than later. Disgraceful, I pray that I don't have a child like that in the future.
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black tea
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#67
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(Original post by KatieLeah)
have you experienced abuse? as a child? if you have and you were fine with it then i agree, my dad abused me and i did say some awful things yes which i should not have said and the daughter is a brat i will agree and should NOT have form that but abuse? hitting your child? no isn’t the answer. i bet your not a mother but if you are, would you ever slap your child as hard as you could so that they cried for however long and didn’t speak to you? would you put the relationship between you and your child on the line ? i doubt it
I was hit as a child and I would have no problem hitting my child to discipline them in certain situations, this one being one of them. I suspect she cried more because her phone had been damaged and she was told she wouldn't get another one rather than because she was slapped.
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Vinny C
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#68
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God made adults bigger for a reason.
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Anonymous #1
#69
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#69
(Original post by Womanhurtmen)
She shouldn't have done that.
I know and I'm completely shocked. I never thought she would do that. The promise held up for 22 years and she just broke it. I can't even say how disappointed I am.
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StriderHort
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#70
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I know and I'm completely shocked. I never thought she would do that. The promise held up for 22 years and she just broke it. I can't even say how disappointed I am.
Yeah, what with all that support you gave her.
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mashed slug
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#71
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This reminded me of my relationship with my parents. Understand your wife must’ve been devastated to lose her mother and see her daughter not even saying goodbye or even showing respect must be aggravating beyond belief. Your wife was likely very angry at her and remember that your daughter hit her mother first, not the other way round. I think she was justified, maybe not doing it in front of other people but yeah, bit of a ***** move coming from her daughter... my parents would say you two went too soft on her •__•
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mashed slug
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#72
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And the fact that she cried more at losing her phone than her grandmother is a bit messed up I’ll ne honest with you mate- I’d be bloody livid
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RandomHumanBeing
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#73
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I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: you acted badly as a husband when going behind your wife's back to tell your daughter about her phone soon.
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Zealous Student
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#74
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Personally I think she should get hit for having the audacity to play a game on her phone during her grandmother's funeral. The child obviously has no sense of respect for anyone but herself. Imagine hitting and swearing at your mother over your material possession being destroyed in a situation where there are more important things to worry about.

Also OP, I don't know why you would appease your daughter rather than your wife, your daughter needs immediate discipline with the way she has behaved in this scenario. Don't set a date for when she will get a new phone, rather, beat her until she understands the true meaning of respect and her position in the hierarchy.
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ilickcupcakes
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#75
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wait why r u so surprised that ur wife slapped ur daughter after she swore and kicked her at the grandmother's funeral. and then after u go and comfort ur child??? u need to teach them what's right and wrong first. and tbh ur daughter kind of deserved that
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Sch7
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#76
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..
Last edited by Sch7; 1 week ago
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UGP1023
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#77
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Your wife definitely shouldn’t have slapped your daughter but you daughter sounds like an absolute brat and you need to teach her how to behave, teach her in a non-violent way of course
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Anonymous #1
#78
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#78
(Original post by awkwardshortguy)
Some serious questions have to be asked. Like, where can I get this Modern Combat game that is evidently so fun to play?
App store
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Secretariat123
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#79
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I emph

(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a 44-year-old white man married with 4 kids. My daughter is my youngest and she turned 14 two weeks ago (on December 23).

My mother-in-law passed away a few days ago and we were at the funeral today. When everyone was greiving, I noticed my daughter playing Modern Combat on her phone. My wife saw her playing and told her to put the phone away but she just said "whatever" and continued to play.

A few minutes later, she noticed my daughter was still playing on her phone. In front of everybody, she pulled my daughter's phone out of her hands and smashed it. My daughter started screaming. I don't remember everything she said, but it included: "You ****ing *****! What the **** are you doing?! I ****ing hate you, go **** yourself!" My daughter then kicked my wife in the leg and my wife lost it and slapped her across the face as hard as she could. I was shocked. 22 years ago, when my wife was pregnant with our eldest son, we made a promise to never use violence against our kids. My father used to beat me for not listening to him or saying something he didn't like. Today I can barely stand the sight of him. Everytime I saw him or heard his voice, those nightmares came back and it took days and sometimes even weeks before I could think about something else. That was the reason I moved out at 18. I couldn't bear it anymore.

Anyway, my daughter started crying and I went to hug and console her. My wife told her that she was a disrespectful spoiled brat, that she will never have a phone until she is 18 and that she was grounded. I understand how hard it is to lose a parent but I just can't believe that she hit our daughter. She broke the promise and I don't know how disappointed I am. And I know my daughter was wrong but no matter what she did, I would never have raised a hand against her. As someone who was beaten by his father for 18 years, I know how much damage violence and abuse can do to a child.

My daughter cried for the whole car ride and even after we came home. She went upstairs to her room and I followed her. I tried to comfort her. I told her that she will get a new phone on her 15th birthday (which is in December) and that what her mother did was wrong and that she is sorry. But my daughter said she hates her mother and that she will never forgive her. About half an hour later, I had a talk with my wife and she said: "I'm done with that apathetic heartless disrespectful brat. I can't handle her anymore."

I don't know what to do. They don't even talk to each other and I'm serious. I need help because I don't want them to hate or dislike each other. I want to fix their relationship.
I empathise with you mate and understand that you want to be the caring father who is better to his kids than yours was to you. But your daughter has to know that she is in the wrong here, you should never call your mum names like that or swear at here, especially noting how young she is and especially noting the circumstances, your wife is grieving. By you buying her a new phone you have shown her that her behaviour is ok and acceptable, which it frankly is not. In addition, you have shown her divisions between you and your wife (her mother), which is not good for any child to see of their parents.
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Anonymous #1
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#80
(Original post by mashed slug)
And the fact that she cried more at losing her phone than her grandmother is a bit messed up I’ll ne honest with you mate- I’d be bloody livid
I don't think it was because of the phone. It was most likely the slap that made her cry. Do you know how it feels to get slapped by your own parent?

(Original post by RandomHumanBeing)
I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: you acted badly as a husband when going behind your wife's back to tell your daughter about her phone soon.
Soon? She turns 15 in December. That's 11 months and I think that's enough.
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