Email Dilemma :(

I'd mention exaclt what you said about checking his e-ticket - if he doesn't mind you going on his email it shouldn't be a problem. Maybe you could rin his mother and ask her some questions about what is exactly going on? Obviously in a courteous way. Mayeb you could say on the phone 'are you sure that you're ok with us staying in edinburgh or did you want us to go to the Isle with you?' that way you have asked her what she wants and she can't say your going against her wishes.

Problems b/w parents and their childrens partners are common "though not to that extent" is there any root to this problem that you are aware of?

Being a girl (you), i'd defe. give you the upper hand in this issue, but i'd wanna keep things smooth. as a guy i can tell you, there aint many things we hate more than getting caught up b/w our GFs and our moms or other family members, but taking things in to her own hands can make things messy...esp while she's this worked up about it....

dont you agree O_O

Hmm...it's really complex and hard to describe. She's a really, really eccentric person who clearly has a lot of problems - his parents are technically still married and go on holiday and see each other on Saturdays and things but they actually don't live in the same house. She doesn't have a job and just completely sponges off my boyfriend's dad, who is lovely. Two horses and she can't even canter! She just spends all his cash on a house that is actually falling to pieces (and which the surveyor strongly advised them not to buy), art lesson or whatever selfish whim she's currently feeling. My boyfriend feels really sorry for her and tries very hard to avoid any of her tantrums so he usually gives into what she wants for a quiet life. I think she might resent the hold she thinks I have over him, when to be honest I usually only put my foot down when her actions are actively hurting him or us.

Grr...she makes me so angry! She spends money on herself like water, but my boyfriend currently is thousands of pounds in debt because she won't help him with his uni fees and he can't qualify for assistance because he lives at her house during term time. And she takes their dog everywhere when she drives and leaves him roasting in a boiling hot car in a car park, which is complete animal cruelty. I know it might seem like I have a massive thing against her, but I'm so so sick of trying to overlook her horrible selfish behaviour that it just comes out in a big rant!

Yes I guess so. I find it very hard to keep my mouth shut to my boyfriend about his mum sometimes. She's a nice woman and is nice to me, I just really don't get some of the things she says etc and i guess we have very different backgrounds and she is about the most opposite of my mum as you could possibly get.

But I'm always polite to her. And I didn't mean to ring and get annoyed. Just put on a calm voice and politely ask what she wanted to do about Scotland. Whether she thought it was a better idea for them to go to the Isle or to stay in Edinburgh? I don't see how that could hurt unless you got rude...

Well, no offense, but from what your saying, we're dealing with a sick woman, or a pure bitch....

but one thing that caught my attn. was that you said your bf is in debt. his father will give his gf's mother money to spend on herself, but wont help his own son pay for uni?

how does that figure, esp that he is a lovely man...sorry if im sounding harsh, it just doesn't "fit" if you wil....

Yeah, he is lovely, but incredibly weak. She holds the purse strings, even if she doesn't put anything in the purse! Which is the main problem. My dad, who is fiery, northern and does not mince his words, keeps asking why he doesn't just get rid but tbh I don't think he has any sort of confidence to be able to do that.

Hmmm... It really is quite a hard one then. Why not email your boyfriend explain the situation and ask what he wants to do? Tbh he probably realises how bad she is, but after all he is her son. I always think seperated women and mothers who dote on their sons can be more difficult. There's always less problems with men and mothers-in-law/gf's mother.

Has your boyfriend ever said much about how you and his mother behave towards eachother?