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Would my personal statement be good?

Its more of an afterthought but I feel perhaps I might benefit from generalized feedback about the P.S I submitted for an Economics and Politics course.

In it I mentioned I

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Had read F.A Hayek's Road to Serfdom and used a quote from the book to argue against Government Intervention

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Referred to and discussed about cases of state intervention with (example of negligible intervention) Hong Kong under John James Cowperthwaite to (example of strong intervention) Keynesian policies employed such as the New Deal and Post War Consensus

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Mentioned having read Capitalism and Freedom, and noted how it shaped my view on the State's role of an economy

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Professed my personal economic beliefs to 'Positive Non-Interventionism'

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Noted as an extracurricular activity that I submitted an essay for a competition by organization which represented US Diplomatic Officers, talking about the US response to insurgencies in Iraq and Typhoon Haiyan.

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Discussed about whether the EU is a superstate, along with the wider Brexit argument and how it links with my interest in politics, namely about legislatures

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Noted how mathematical models is crucial in economics and how it has piqued my interest to explore further

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Filibusters in the US senate as well as the efficiencies of legislatures such as Congress and Parliament.

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I have served as a prefect in my school and that I have an amiable disposition

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I have done an assembly to promote Epilepsy Awareness Day



Do you think that these points would be contributing to a strong personal statement- Would appreciate any feedback :smile:
(edited 4 years ago)
Admissions staff use the PS to answer 3 questions:
1) does the applicant demonstrate an understanding of what the course involves?
2) does the applicant demonstrate enough interest and motivation to study the subject (including the dull bits) for 3+ years?
3) (not relevant for academic degrees like economics) does the applicant demonstrate any non academic skills required to succeed on the course?

My concern from your bullet points is that your PS might have been closer to an essay about economics and not a personal statement about your academic interests in economics. But that’s difficult to judge from bullet points.

Get someone who doesn’t know anything about economics to read it and ask if they can summarise your motivation for studying the degree.
(edited 4 years ago)

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