Finals in 3 months but i have gone through a horrible break up

I have finals in 3 months for the degree.
I have gone through a horrible break up, someone i have been with for ten years and had a wedding planned.
I am meeting my personal tutor soon, but it ended badly. She cheated on me.
I am well enough to go back into hospital , but i am struggling somewhat with anxiety, and feeling depressed and a little lost about things. I will need counselling.

My worry is not passing my degree now. What can i do?

Reply 1

username5027880

My advice to you, would be to put all your effort into getting your degree.
By throwing yourself into your work, it will take your mind off what you have recently gone through.
At the end of the day obtaining your degree must be at the top of your list.
You can pick up again on your personal life once you have graduated.
Good luck.

Reply 2

Natasha001

Original post by Anonymous

I'm so sorry to hear, i really am. About 4 years ago, this was me few weeks to my end of semester exams for first year med school (Its not the same as being in final year, but i believe you can draw from my experiences). While people would advice that you should brush yourself up and move on with your life (and you would). But you lost someone. First, take time to mourn the loss of the person you lost (via breakup). Its okay to cry, its okay to be upset for a while. Its okay to feel. It. is. okay!. Acknowledge your emotions. I remember i would go back to my house and cry a lot after the day's end. But i made sure this wasn't going to affect my study (because, really i knew i deserved better and that person wasn't worth failing my exams for). So if you can, talk to people, spend time with friends and avoid being alone e.g study groups etc. I was at my lowest point in my life, i had reached rock bottom, and it was in that period that something life changing happened. I met someone who wiped away all my tears, who i could feel was hurting simply because i was hurting. Someone who was everything my ex wasn't. And someone who got me through all that pain and gave me a sense of purpose. I met Jesus christ!. Fast forward 5 years later, i am better for it. I am a Medical graduate, i graduated top of my class with a first class from a very competitive med school and i won a couple of awards. If i see my ex, i genuinely wish them well, with no ill feelings. No baggage, no residual anger, nothing. That is the power of Jesus Christ. Jesus heals all broken hearts. The Bible says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Becoming a Christian has been the best decision of my life, and if that was the only way i could find Christ, i would go through that pain and heartache of a break up in a heartbeat. That is how powerful and life-changing it has been for me.

If you desire to know Jesus, pray this simple prayer "Lord Jesus, thank you for loving me for who i am. I confess that you came in human flesh to die for my sins. I believe in you Jesus and confess that from now on, you are my Lord and personal savior. I invite you into my life, i want to have a personal relationship with you. Come and make yourself known to me. Amen". Congratulations on this new exciting journey!. What next? Attend a bible-believing church nearest to you and find someone to talk to about your new decision as a Christian, and watch your life transformed. You can also pm me, i'll leave this message unanonymous for you. Cheers

Reply 3

Hype en Ecosse

I went through two break-ups during medical school, which left me a bit broken for a while.

The best thing I think you can do is make your self-care a priority: when you've suffered a major life stressor like this and the adjustment is affecting your mood and thoughts, it's very difficult to do the simple things like take part in your hobbies; cook yourself a meal; even shower. This is the stuff I think you should prioritise just now. Really push yourself to get out of bed and go for that shower - you'll feel better afterwards for it.

I'd remove any paraphernelia that reminds you of the relationship from your immediate living space - don't throw it away, but keep it in a box or a cupboard or something out of the way: so you're not constantly reminded. When you have healed a bit and are in a better mental state, you can look at it later and decide whether or not you want to keep it.

Good job on managing to keep attending placement. When you get your life in order, you'll find it easier to attend placement and to study for your important exams coming up. I hope you can have a therapeutic chat with your personal tutor.

Life goes on. You'll make it out and you'll be happy with where you end up in the end.

Reply 4

returnmigrant

This isnt fun, but you really do have to get a grip on things and carry on.

This is what happens in adult life, things happen. People die, relationships hit the fan, friends get seriously ill etc etc. But you really do have to just carry on. In work, you might get a week's compassionate leave after a bereavement of a close family member to arrange the funeral etc. That's it. You dont get compassionate leave because your engagement went phut, The same applies at Med School. People will be sympathetic for a week or so - but then you have to get on with life. You certainly wont get any consideration from the Uni or exams that are 3 months away. If you are training to be a doctor, you can't just duck out when life gets tough. Use the experience - you now have a greater sense of empathy for what happens to many other people during their lives.

Suggest you book a session with Uni counselling service to help you get things in perspective.

Finals in 3 months but i have gone through a horrible break up

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