PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Compare ‘London’ and one other poem about power from the power and conflict anthology

Notably, both poets, Blake and Agard use the poems ‘London’ and ‘Checking Out My History’ to explore the same idea of how patriarchal society and those in power can cause problems, showing the damaging effects of exploited children. They however use different techniques. Blake demonstrates the effect of patriarchal society and its damaging effects in “Blight with plagues the marriage hearse.” The oxymoronic device used, emphasis the corrupt nature of the time and perhaps criticises Christanitys views on marriage. A marriage which is meant to be a symbol of love, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at(“plagues”). It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed” due to male dominated society of the 1800s, creating pathos for the poor and vulnerable children.The cyclic and monotonous lives of those living in London is explored through the use of a regular ABAB rhyme scheme and regular quatrains. Perhaps Blake is acknowledging the repetitive suffering that the exploited “Chimney sweepers” and “Youthful harlots” were forced into whilst living in London during the Industrial revolution. Furthermore, it is clear by all the emphasis on suffering children that his purpose was to demonstrate the damaging impacts on child exploitation and reveal the effects of male sexual desire within a highly patriarchal society. Ultimately it also being the last line of the poem offers no hope further adumbrating the suffering. This idea that society exploits children is also evident in Agard’s ‘Checking Out Me History’: “Dem tell me bout Lord Nelson and all that..Dem tell me...Shaka the great Zulu.” The use of Agard's colloquial spellings and references to important black historical figures forces readers to acknowledge his identity; which is similar to how Blake wished for the monarchy, at the time of his writing, to acknowledge the suffering of children in London. Moreover, the repetition of the collective noun “Dem”(them) emphasises his idea that people in power can corrupt others knowledge - evident where children in French and British Imperialist countries fail to learn about and embrace Afro-Caribbean culture. Structurally, Agard's use of enjambment reflects the angry tone of the poem where he is unable to control his emotions and in retrospect to Blake tries to show how people in power can be resisted by those being oppressed.

Ultimately, both Blake and Agard use different techniques to express their anger towards the highly patriarchal society of the times they were writing and illustrate how they can corrupt and exploit children's lives. They both demonstrate the damaging effects of it, to the point where Blake feels as if there is no sense of hope for their futures. Agard on the other hand wishes to make a statement about how it is possible to fight back.
Last edited by PizzaMan2989; 1 year ago
0
reply
DauntlessKilljoy
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
your use of literary terms is impressive!
Try and make your conclusion a bit longer.
One thing I would suggest is to try and link everything back to the question. For example, with this sentence (A marriage which is meant to be a holy event, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at. It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed”, creating pathos) I want to know how the pathos links to the exploitation of children and the patriarchy. So personally, I'd go through your answer again and add half a sentence after every point you make just confirming what you mean and how it links to the question.
Overall though I would say this is actually pretty good.
0
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#3
(Original post by DauntlessKilljoy)
your use of literary terms is impressive!
Try and make your conclusion a bit longer.
One thing I would suggest is to try and link everything back to the question. For example, with this sentence (A marriage which is meant to be a holy event, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at. It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed”, creating pathos) I want to know how the pathos links to the exploitation of children and the patriarchy. So personally, I'd go through your answer again and add half a sentence after every point you make just confirming what you mean and how it links to the question.
Overall though I would say this is actually pretty good.
Thank you so much for your reply!!!
Linking back to the point is something I have struggled with, but generally, I struggle with English as a whole - especially language ughhh!!
Bellows an improved version

Compare ‘London’ and one other poem about power from the power and conflict anthology

Notably, both poems ‘London’ and ‘Checking Out My History’ explore how patriarchal society and those in power can cause problems, showing the damaging effects of exploited children.

Blake demonstrates the effect of the patriarchal society and its damaging effects in “Blight with plagues the marriage hearse.” The oxymoronic device used, emphasis the corrupt nature of the time and perhaps criticises Christanitys views on marriage. A marriage which is meant to be a symbol of love, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at(“plagues”). It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed” due to the male-dominated society of the 1800s, creating pathos for the poor and vulnerable children. The cyclic and monotonous lives of those living in London are explored through the use of a regular ABAB rhyme scheme and regular quatrains. Perhaps Blake is acknowledging the repetitive suffering that the exploited “Chimney sweepers” and “Youthful harlots” were forced into whilst living in London during the Industrial revolution. Furthermore, it is clear by all the emphasis on suffering children that his purpose was to demonstrate the damaging impacts on child exploitation and reveal the effects of male sexual desire within a highly patriarchal society. Ultimately it also being the last line of the poem offers no hope further adumbrating the suffering. This idea that society exploits children is also evident in Agard’s ‘Checking Out Me History’: “Dem tell me bout Lord Nelson and all that...Dem tell me...Shaka the great Zulu” The use of Agard's colloquial spellings and references to important black historical figures forces readers to acknowledge his identity; which is similar to how Blake wished for the monarchy at the time of his writing to acknowledge the suffering of children in London. Moreover, the repetition of the collective noun “Dem”(them) emphasises his idea that people in power can corrupt others' knowledge - evident where children in French and British Imperialist countries fail to learn about and embrace Afro-Caribbean culture. Structurally, Agard's use of enjambment reflects the angry tone of the poem where he is unable to control his emotions and in retrospect to Blake tries to show how people in power can be resisted by those being oppressed.

Ultimately, both Blake and Agard wish to express their anger towards the highly patriarchal society of the times they were writing and illustrate how they can corrupt and exploit children's lives. They both demonstrate the damaging effects of it, to the point where Blake feels as if there is no sense of hope for their futures. Agard, on the other hand, wishes to make a statement about how it is possible to fight back.
Last edited by PizzaMan2989; 1 year ago
0
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#4
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#4
Compare ‘London’ and one other poem about power from the power and conflict anthology

Notably, both poets, Blake and Agard use the poems ‘London’ and ‘Checking Out My History’ to explore the same idea of how patriarchal society and those in power can cause problems, showing the damaging effects of exploited children. They however use different techniques. Blake demonstrates the effect of patriarchal society and its damaging effects in “Blight with plagues the marriage hearse.” The oxymoronic device used, emphasis the corrupt nature of the time and perhaps criticises Christanitys views on marriage. A marriage which is meant to be a symbol of love, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at(“plagues”). It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed” due to male dominated society of the 1800s, creating pathos for the poor and vulnerable children.The cyclic and monotonous lives of those living in London is explored through the use of a regular ABAB rhyme scheme and regular quatrains. Perhaps Blake is acknowledging the repetitive suffering that the exploited “Chimney sweepers” and “Youthful harlots” were forced into whilst living in London during the Industrial revolution. Furthermore, it is clear by all the emphasis on suffering children that his purpose was to demonstrate the damaging impacts on child exploitation and reveal the effects of male sexual desire within a highly patriarchal society. Ultimately it also being the last line of the poem offers no hope further adumbrating the suffering. This idea that society exploits children is also evident in Agard’s ‘Checking Out Me History’: “Dem tell me bout Lord Nelson and all that..Dem tell me...Shaka the great Zulu.” The use of Agard's colloquial spellings and references to important black historical figures forces readers to acknowledge his identity; which is similar to how Blake wished for the monarchy, at the time of his writing, to acknowledge the suffering of children in London. Moreover, the repetition of the collective noun “Dem”(them) emphasises his idea that people in power can corrupt others knowledge - evident where children in French and British Imperialist countries fail to learn about and embrace Afro-Caribbean culture. Structurally, Agard's use of enjambment reflects the angry tone of the poem where he is unable to control his emotions and in retrospect to Blake tries to show how people in power can be resisted by those being oppressed.

Ultimately, both Blake and Agard use different techniques to express their anger towards the highly patriarchal society of the times they were writing and illustrate how they can corrupt and exploit children's lives. They both demonstrate the damaging effects of it, to the point where Blake feels as if there is no sense of hope for their futures. Agard on the other hand wishes to make a statement about how it is possible to fight back.

Hi Davy611 and Tolgarda, I hope you two don't mind giving me some advice on this and how to improve. A mark as well if possible thank you so much
0
reply
Davy611
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
Compare the damaging impact of power in 'London and 'Checking Out Me History'

Both poets, Blake and Agard, use the poems ‘London’ and ‘Checking Out My History’ to explore the same idea of how patriarchal society and those in power can cause problems, ultimately resulting in damage and exploitation. However, they do employ different techniques. Blake demonstrates the effect of patriarchal society and its damaging effects in “Blight with plagues the marriage hearse.” The oxymoronic phrase emphasises the corrupt nature of the time and perhaps criticises traditional Christian views on marriage. A marriage is meant to be a symbol of love, representing happiness and joy, but here it is tarnished by disease.

Blake suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed” due to the patriarchy of the 1800s. Blake's intention is to create pathos and challenge the attitudes of the ruling classes. The cyclic and monotonous lives of those living in London is explored through the use of a regular ABAB rhyme scheme and regular quatrains. Perhaps Blake is acknowledging the repetitive suffering that the exploited “Chimney sweepers” and “Youthful harlots” were forced into whilst living in London at this time. Furthermore, it is clear by the emphasis on suffering children that his purpose was to demonstrate the damaging impact on younger people in society. Ultimately, this last line of the poem offers no hope - further emphasising the impact of those in power and highlighting the suffering that is endured.

This idea that society exploits children is also evident in Agard’s ‘Checking Out Me History’: “Dem tell me bout Lord Nelson and all that..Dem tell me...Shaka the great Zulu.” The use of Agard's colloquial spellings and references to important black historical figures forces readers to acknowledge his identity; which is similar to how Blake wished for the monarchy, at the time of his writing, to acknowledge the suffering of children in London. Moreover, the repetition of the collective noun “Dem”(them) emphasises his idea that people in power can corrupt others knowledge - evident where children in French and British Imperialist countries fail to learn about and embrace Afro-Caribbean culture. Structurally, Agard's use of enjambment reflects the angry tone of the poem; he is unable to control his emotions.

Ultimately, both Blake and Agard use different techniques to express their anger towards the highly patriarchal society of the times they were writing and illustrate how these systems can corrupt and exploit children. They both demonstrate the damaging effects of these broken societies, to the point where Blake feels as if there is no sense of hope for their futures. Agard, on the other hand, wishes to make a statement about how it is possible to fight back.

Feedback

You show a clear understanding of both poems and use relevant subject terminology to support your analysis. Your contextual appreciation is quite solid. You need to develop your analysis of 'Checking Out Me History'. You dwell too much on 'exploited children' but this seems a bit forced. I think a general focus on exploitation would be more credible and successful. I've tidied up some of your grammar in order to make your conclusions a bit clearer. Also, don't feel as though you've got to choose massively ambitious words; sometimes the simpler word helps you to convey your point in a more effective way.

I think a mark of 17/30 would be fair. This is broadly a grade 5.
1
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#6
Thanks!!
0
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#7
Feedback is much appreciated. Did not expect you to make amends- thank you
0
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#8
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#8
Also, if I were to write that in an exam is it enough to be able to be marked fairly
0
reply
Oluwadamilooolaa
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 year ago
#9
(Original post by PizzaMan2989)
Also, if I were to write that in an exam is it enough to be able to be marked fairly
Definitely! It’s amazing and with a little improvements mentioned above, you’ll definitely get a high score on that.
0
reply
Tolgash
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 year ago
#10
I agree with Davy here, this piece is definitely very good!
0
reply
Davy611
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 year ago
#11
(Original post by PizzaMan2989)
Also, if I were to write that in an exam is it enough to be able to be marked fairly
If you could add a bit more on the second poem and make sure that you're clear in your interpretation then you'll be pushing grade 7.
0
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#12
Ok thank you so much
0
reply
PizzaMan2989
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#13
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#13
(Original post by DauntlessKilljoy)
your use of literary terms is impressive!
Try and make your conclusion a bit longer.
One thing I would suggest is to try and link everything back to the question. For example, with this sentence (A marriage which is meant to be a holy event, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at. It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed”, creating pathos) I want to know how the pathos links to the exploitation of children and the patriarchy. So personally, I'd go through your answer again and add half a sentence after every point you make just confirming what you mean and how it links to the question.
Overall though I would say this is actually pretty goIf
If I said this: are "cursed" presenting them as vulnerable children, creating pathos. The feeling of sympathy felt here would be of the deepest meaning because they are defenceless...Thanks
0
reply
DauntlessKilljoy
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#14
Report 1 year ago
#14
(Original post by PizzaMan2989)
Thank you so much for your reply!!!
Linking back to the point is something I have struggled with, but generally, I struggle with English as a whole - especially language ughhh!!
Bellows an improved version

Compare ‘London’ and one other poem about power from the power and conflict anthology

Notably, both poems ‘London’ and ‘Checking Out My History’ explore how patriarchal society and those in power can cause problems, showing the damaging effects of exploited children.

Blake demonstrates the effect of the patriarchal society and its damaging effects in “Blight with plagues the marriage hearse.” The oxymoronic device used, emphasis the corrupt nature of the time and perhaps criticises Christanitys views on marriage. A marriage which is meant to be a symbol of love, that represents happiness and joy is tarnished with the sexually transmitted diseases Blake hints at(“plagues”). It suggests to the reader that the life of “new-born infants” are “cursed” due to the male-dominated society of the 1800s, creating pathos for the poor and vulnerable children. The cyclic and monotonous lives of those living in London are explored through the use of a regular ABAB rhyme scheme and regular quatrains. Perhaps Blake is acknowledging the repetitive suffering that the exploited “Chimney sweepers” and “Youthful harlots” were forced into whilst living in London during the Industrial revolution. Furthermore, it is clear by all the emphasis on suffering children that his purpose was to demonstrate the damaging impacts on child exploitation and reveal the effects of male sexual desire within a highly patriarchal society. Ultimately it also being the last line of the poem offers no hope further adumbrating the suffering. This idea that society exploits children is also evident in Agard’s ‘Checking Out Me History’: “Dem tell me bout Lord Nelson and all that...Dem tell me...Shaka the great Zulu” The use of Agard's colloquial spellings and references to important black historical figures forces readers to acknowledge his identity; which is similar to how Blake wished for the monarchy at the time of his writing to acknowledge the suffering of children in London. Moreover, the repetition of the collective noun “Dem”(them) emphasises his idea that people in power can corrupt others' knowledge - evident where children in French and British Imperialist countries fail to learn about and embrace Afro-Caribbean culture. Structurally, Agard's use of enjambment reflects the angry tone of the poem where he is unable to control his emotions and in retrospect to Blake tries to show how people in power can be resisted by those being oppressed.

Ultimately, both Blake and Agard wish to express their anger towards the highly patriarchal society of the times they were writing and illustrate how they can corrupt and exploit children's lives. They both demonstrate the damaging effects of it, to the point where Blake feels as if there is no sense of hope for their futures. Agard, on the other hand, wishes to make a statement about how it is possible to fight back.
No Problem! You've definitely linked it back to the question a lot more in this version, so well done.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Do you think receiving Teacher Assessed Grades will impact your future?

I'm worried it will negatively impact me getting into university/college (91)
38.24%
I'm worried that I’m not academically prepared for the next stage in my educational journey (25)
10.5%
I'm worried it will impact my future career (18)
7.56%
I'm worried that my grades will be seen as ‘lesser’ because I didn’t take exams (57)
23.95%
I don’t think that receiving these grades will impact my future (30)
12.61%
I think that receiving these grades will affect me in another way (let us know in the discussion!) (17)
7.14%

Watched Threads

View All