Muslim friends finding out I drink?

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Anonymous #1
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[Edited at OP's request]
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1st superstar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I'm a uni student who would describe myself as a faithful muslim. I don't practice my religion as well as I should but I believe my relationship with allah (god) is a personal one and thats that to be honest. So just before coming to uni, I made the decision to start drinking alcohol but for obvious reasons I never made this public except with my non-muslim uni friends. More recently, its been harder and harder to exclude my drinking from my course mates and general people. My non-muslim friends and muslim friends have started to inevitably form links so I think my muslim friends are starting to find out. The reason I never made this public from the beginning is because they're sort of strict Pakistani muslims (im the only one in my muslim friend group who isn't asian btw) who are the more narrow-minded type that look down on anyone who isn't practising as well as them so I just never thought it would've been ideal to bring it up lol. Anyway now I feel an undeclared tension when I'm with my muslim friends at uni and I'm assuming they have found out lol, whats the best way to go about this? I wouldn't be too bothered to be honest if they continue to be somewhat hostile because I simply wouldn't want to affiliate with people who have such mindsets to begin with, its more the fact I have to spend years with them still. I don't see why they can't accept differences and see that religion is a personal belief. Whats my next step here, how do I tackle this?
just tell them the truth and tbh i see nothing wrong with it if your not a heavy drinker?
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watershower
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as long as you are not a heavy drinker. what you do isn’t really their business. but i don’t understand the opposition, isn’t drinking haram? i know you have your own relationship with God and you don’t have to follow all the rules to have one , but if you are muslim, why don’t you follow one of the most known rules? sorry if it got personal.
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Jetwasher
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As a muslim they shouldn't judge you because only god can judge. You should probably tell them because its better to be honest. If they don't accept your views and are hostile then you probs shouldn't be friends.
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Anonymous #1
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How do I tell em? Do I wait for the right time or do I just pop up to them and if so, what do I say?
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gjd800
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Never understood the Muslim thing with ale. I have a bunch of Kurdish Muslim mates and they all sup, so do their aul fellas who are pretty old, so do their Grandads. Is how strictly this is applied it a regional thing?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by watershower)
as long as you are not a heavy drinker. what you do isn’t really their business. but i don’t understand the opposition, isn’t drinking haram? i know you have your own relationship with God and you don’t have to follow all the rules to have one , but if you are muslim, why don’t you follow one of the most known rules? sorry if it got personal.
Its okay. Personally, its just something I decided to do, not proudly. However, I do believe being Muslim isn't a straight road, there are different degrees to your faith and this is something I've noticed in my life. The same asians that preach Islam and practising it to their degree are the ones who smoke hookah/shisha every weekend despite it too being haram. Everyones different
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gjd800)
Never understood the Muslim thing with ale. I have a bunch of Kurdish Muslim mates and they all sup, so do their aul fellas who are pretty old, so do their Grandads. Is how strictly this is applied it a regional thing?
Yeah pretty much, different countries and regions follow religion to different degrees hence why I feel like I'm being singled out in a way. Indians and Pakistani Muslims tend to be very very similar in their cultural and religious ways and they comprise most of my uni muslim mates whereas I'm not from Asia at all to begin with
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gjd800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah pretty much, different countries and regions follow religion to different degrees hence why I feel like I'm being singled out in a way. Indians and Pakistani Muslims tend to be very very similar in their cultural and religious ways and they comprise most of my uni muslim mates whereas I'm not from Asia at all to begin with
Aha, I follow. That's a pretty crap position to be in, I suppose.

I dunno if I have anything useful to say to you, but what will their response be if they did know for sure? Would they cast you off? Is it more important to you to be able to have a beer than it is to keep these friends appeased?

Hard questions I guess,and in some ways I'm not being helpful at all
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username4347578
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(Original post by watershower)
as long as you are not a heavy drinker. what you do isn’t really their business. but i don’t understand the opposition, isn’t drinking haram? i know you have your own relationship with God and you don’t have to follow all the rules to have one , but if you are muslim, why don’t you follow one of the most known rules? sorry if it got personal.
I mean each to their own but even though it’s in the sacraments many catholics don’t go to Mass and drink the wine and eat the body right?
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Anonymous #2
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Just man up and learn to not give a damn!
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username4952620
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That’s not something you can just hide. Ofc people will find out sooner or later
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by gjd800)
Never understood the Muslim thing with ale. I have a bunch of Kurdish Muslim mates and they all sup, so do their aul fellas who are pretty old, so do their Grandads. Is how strictly this is applied it a regional thing?
Hey!! It’s because many Muslims do drink. But Muslims like to say that Muslims can absolutely not drink and that it’s haram and this and that and religion etc etc. But the thing is many Muslims drink. I hate hearing people saying omg that’s haram why are you drinking? You’ll burn in hell. It’s none of their business so they can drink as it’s their own life. As long as the person isn’t a heavy drinker and an alcoholic that will impact his health it’s ok to drink once in a while relationship with God is shown by showing. God has also given a life so we humans can respect and enjoy it.
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username2393237
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I thought men were unofficially allowed to drink etc. Just be civil and spend more time with real friends who will accept you.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey!! It’s because many Muslims do drink. But Muslims like to say that Muslims can absolutely not drink and that it’s haram and this and that and religion etc etc. But the thing is many Muslims drink. I hate hearing people saying omg that’s haram why are you drinking? You’ll burn in hell. It’s none of their business so they can drink as it’s their own life. As long as the person isn’t a heavy drinker and an alcoholic that will impact his health it’s ok to drink once in a while relationship with God is shown by showing. God has also given a life so we humans can respect and enjoy it.
I’ve also noticed that it sometimes does depend on regions too like Pakistani Muslims and Arabs are very strict from what I’ve experienced (although I’ve also seen many drinking )
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gjd800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey!! It’s because many Muslims do drink. But Muslims like to say that Muslims can absolutely not drink and that it’s haram and this and that and religion etc etc. But the thing is many Muslims drink. I hate hearing people saying omg that’s haram why are you drinking? You’ll burn in hell. It’s none of their business so they can drink as it’s their own life. As long as the person isn’t a heavy drinker and an alcoholic that will impact his health it’s ok to drink once in a while relationship with God is shown by showing. God has also given a life so we humans can respect and enjoy it.
Yeah, I personally know more Muslims that sup than ones that don't. But I come on here and read condemnation of it relatively often, it;s a strange thing. I'd take the lads I know over the preachy types on here any day of the week, mind!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by gjd800)
Aha, I follow. That's a pretty crap position to be in, I suppose.

I dunno if I have anything useful to say to you, but what will their response be if they did know for sure? Would they cast you off? Is it more important to you to be able to have a beer than it is to keep these friends appeased?

Hard questions I guess,and in some ways I'm not being helpful at all
No I appreciate the replies mate. There's actually one or two girls on my course who are muslims that openly drink and ironically some of my muslim friends are close friends with them lol. I dont know if it's because they're girls and they're getting attention or what lool. Its just so much hypocrisy and condradictions which is what annoys me the most.
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Neurocandid
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I'm a uni student who would describe myself as a faithful muslim. I don't practice my religion as well as I should but I believe my relationship with allah (god) is a personal one and thats that to be honest. So just before coming to uni, I made the decision to start drinking alcohol but for obvious reasons I never made this public except with my non-muslim uni friends. More recently, its been harder and harder to exclude my drinking from my course mates and general people. My non-muslim friends and muslim friends have started to inevitably form links so I think my muslim friends are starting to find out. The reason I never made this public from the beginning is because they're sort of strict Pakistani muslims (im the only one in my muslim friend group who isn't asian btw) who are the more narrow-minded type that look down on anyone who isn't practising as well as them so I just never thought it would've been ideal to bring it up lol. Anyway now I feel an undeclared tension when I'm with my muslim friends at uni and I'm assuming they have found out lol, whats the best way to go about this? I wouldn't be too bothered to be honest if they continue to be somewhat hostile because I simply wouldn't want to affiliate with people who have such mindsets to begin with, its more the fact I have to spend years with them still. I don't see why they can't accept differences and see that religion is a personal belief. Whats my next step here, how do I tackle this?
Step 1, Either
A. Stop drinking
B. Keep drinking

Step 2,

Accept whichever option you choose and don’t be in denial as this is who you’re becoming. This will fade the grey area of who you really are and who you pretend to be hence openly accommodating both your Muslim and non Muslim friends
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gjd800
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No I appreciate the replies mate. There's actually one or two girls on my course who are muslims that openly drink and ironically some of my muslim friends are close friends with them lol. I dont know if it's because they're girls and they're getting attention or what lool. Its just so much hypocrisy and condradictions which is what annoys me the most.
Easy for me to say 'do what you want', but at the same time, I know how alienating it can be to sort of push away a big section of your friends!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by IH8Studying)
That’s not something you can just hide. Ofc people will find out sooner or later
Its not something I've necessarily been hiding but with my muslim mates being relatively new friends in my life, I felt it wasn't the smartest option to bring it up prematurely. Especially when I was more certain than not, it wouldn't be taken well. Its obviously much easier to bring it up with my non muslim friends since its the norm for them lol
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