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He and I should be together...I think watch

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    Oh dear, this is really just like a very bad romance film. Anon because I know he has just gotten an account on here, but hopefully he doesn't venture into the H&R bit.

    Basically, I have known this guy for three years - I met him over the internet when I first came to uni, and we have spoken to each other online/over the phone since then. When I moved into a student house in the second year, he came to visit me a few times, and although we never were in a relationship, we had a bit of a weird period where we were cuddly etc.

    Anyway, we (he, really) decided that we didn't fancy each other enough (true; we got on great personality-wise, but we didn't find each other that attractive) so we just agreed to have a break from each other. Now, before we met each other, neither of us had ever been in a relationship, so it was quite nice to find someone in the same point. After this break, we just naturally started talking to each again, which was fine.

    But, just recently, he's got himself a girlfriend. He liked this girl before, and asked her out, and she turned him down; he then thought he didn't like her anymore, but she suddenly admitted to him when she was drunk that she fancied him, so he's decided to go out with her. Personally, I think it's a bit ridiculous because he's moving away from his uni. to get a job, and I think he also kind of knows that the situation is a bit futile too.

    To get to the point - I don't know...it's really weird because we get along so well, I kind of wish that we were together. I don't really know many (any) guys, and we are like an old married couple - the massive issue is on looks. Tbh, I think I might possibly fancy him again now (I hadn't seen any photos of him for ages), but I doubt it's reciprocated. Also, I'm moving to somewhere which isn't where he's going, so really we can't do anything.

    Basically, it's really strange because I just have this feeling that we're going to get together in the future - regardless of how many people we meet in the interrim. I don't know whether this is just because I don't know many other guys (probably) or whether it actually is true, but I guess I'm asking whether anyone else has been in this situation, and if so, what happened/what did you do?
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    Nope I'm sorry ... This is a very unique situation :O
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    If I were you I shouldn't be worrying about it to much and just look for other guys to meet... For example I'm a student and 18 years old and I wouldn't mind to get to know you... But the other side of the story is, that I'm a billingual student from Holland so I don't live in the U.K. sorry again
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    I think that you do like him. However this is strengthened by the notion of wanting what you cant have, because he has a girlfriend.

    I cant advise you from personal experience as I have never had this. But, looks go with time anyway the personality in general is to stay. Having said that there has to be chemistry there. See how things go, if it looks like he and she are going to have a long term relationship perhaps best to move on albeit temporarily...but dont go into another relationship whilst your mind is still on him.
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    Hmmm... I don't think you are right for each other. Maybe good friends with a strong personality attraction but I reckon romantic/relationship wise you're probably not a great fit.

    Looks and physical attraction is very important in a relationship. Sounds shallow but it's very true. Fancying someone is what separates great friends and great lovers and it sounds like you and this guy don't fancy each other.

    It's difficult, I know. Opposite sex friendships often get confused and lines get blurred and it can be hard. For a year, I convinced myself that I was in love with my best friend and believed we belonged with each other. Looking back, I think it was because I was so scared of losing him and that I would never find anyone like him who I fancied so I thought he was the best I could get. I told him how I felt and it didn't really go down too well. He just didn't feel that way about me. Took me to really fall for someone a year later (physically and personality wise) to realise that he did me a favour turning me down. We remain great friends and now I don't have any feelings for him at all romantically. I'm really glad we didn't explore anything romantic because it would have ruined a great friendship.
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    I think i know what you mean. I know someone who i think i could have a pretty great relationship with, however circumstances have got in the way and right now it isn't happening. However i can't help but feel that it will work out eventually. Call it wishful thinking or female intuition or whatever...

    Anyway, in your situation, there is not much you can do but wait. Don't ruin his relationshio by telling him your feelings. If it is how you say it is, then this thing with this other girl sounds like it wont work out anyway (due to distance?). just wait and see what happens and dont rule out other guys you may meet in the meantime!
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    Sounds pretty depressing that you want to go for someone just because you feel comfortable with them, even though you admit that there's not really any attraction there. Why not be more positive and look for someone you can actually feel more passionately about?
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    people always seem to want the things they cannot have...
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    Is this not a case of wanting something you can't have? Don't try to force a relationship, if it's meant to happen it will. You don't seem to fancy him, it seems as though you're just good friends.
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    (Original post by koensemeijn)
    If I were you I shouldn't be worrying about it to much and just look for other guys to meet... For example I'm a student and 18 years old and I wouldn't mind to get to know you... But the other side of the story is, that I'm a billingual student from Holland so I don't live in the U.K. sorry again

    ahh this made me LOL
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    I get the feeling that he's with this girl and that's the way it is, sort of thing...
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    (Original post by Frannnnn)
    ahh this made me LOL
    Was this your forum??? Cause than I'll have to introduce myself :cool:
    I'm a billingual student from Holland... and I'm going on vacation to the U.K. in about two days ... What's more I like sportsssssss and making music...and I'm going to university next year, which is very exciting for me:woo: and well that's just a short introduction :p:
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    this is so such a very weird situation, In not so brutal words you just said he is ugly or thereabouts, and you do like the feller, but you dont feel the electric feeling you are so looking for,

    come on,

    face it, you like the guy, but dont feel the passion, its quite ok, i would wait till i am 30, and if i am single and uglier, and if he single and where he was in terms oh looks, i would date the feller, relationships needs chemistry, you cant just be freinds and not passionate about each other, make your mind up, wait till he is single to restart courtship phase in case that is what you want

    and, best of luck, sorry about the irish cheddar cheesiness
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    You suddenly want him more after he got himself a gf? hmmmm :eyebrow:
 
 
 
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