Started a new job and I gave an awful first impression... what to do?

Started a new job this week. My manager took me aside today and told me that the three executives (that I met on my induction) said I told them that this role was temporary and that I will move on.

I do not recall this at all. I do not remember saying this - I 100% didn’t speak to one of the executives. I do remember saying that the presentation (though irrelevant to my role) was really interesting as I would like to progress to that level.

I did also speak to the other girls starting the same role as me that working a 9-5 post uni would be hard but will be really interesting and I will see how I feel at the end of three months.

Now I think of it - in the name/introduction telling exercise, I did say that I am going back to uni in the future to apply for medicine (this role is in the medical field) but am I not allowed to have goals/aspirations? Fair enough if I said but apparently I spoke to directors directly…

The pay is peanuts. I have a lot of responsibility.. was really enjoying this week of training until she said that to me. It really put me off. My manager said she would not respect me if I left in two months due to time/training/hiring process but I haven’t a clue where I will be in two months so that’s a really farfetched and unfair comment to make.

My parents and best friend do not find this a fair situation - I get it is the working world but to say I made a comment when I did not is beyond me. Supposedly came directly out of my mouth.

Baffled is what I am feeling. Sad, and embarassed.

You are learning the hard way that some offices gossip, and many offices 'feedback' on their first impressions of new staff to managers.

When you join any new job, you have to be aware that you are joining an existing team, you are effectively, unwittingly rocking the boat. So the impression you need to give is that you are committed to join the team, and not going to cause any turbulence.

Unfortunately, saying things like you will review the job in 3 months to colleagues, and that working 9-5 might be difficult after uni, and that you are planning to go back to uni at some point - these are all disturbing to the established team. Put blunty, no, you aren't 'allowed' to voice ambitions to move on from this job within the first week of arriving. The team around you have been waiting for this new person to join them, to help them in whatever work they do, and the first thing that person does is offer suggestions that they might move on soon. That sort of info will 100% be passed up the line.

Your best bet now is only to voice positive opinions about the job, the team, settling in, be upbeat and committed. It doesn't matter if you are applying for other jobs behind the scenes, don't rock the boat with the team. Otherwise, why on earth should they invest in bringing you onboard with them, if you've immediately indicated to want to be elsewhere?

You've got your timing wrong. Go back next week and be positive about the job, seem committed and hope they grow some confidence in you.

Thanks for this. I have spent my entire weekend worried/anxious (I am an over thinker) that this is the impression I have given. I always feel pressured to stay as my manager said she will lose respect for me if I leave in two months or so... I feel jailed.

I didn't think it was that deep tbh. The executives started from the bottom to the top so should understand that as a grad. manning a reception desk isn't exactly an ambition I have for the future.

Is there anyway to dig myself out of this hole? My plan was to impress as much as I can and then make an excuse (i.e. travelling) when the time for departure comes. I am 100% going back to uni in September. I get paid less than 8GBP an hour for this role so it's obv. not what I would like in terms of cash flow but would like to start from somewhere.

I was just shocked that apparently I directly spoke to them that this is a temp. role. My manager also said that she can sack me on the spot (to which, I don't mind as I don't want to work in a toxic environment filled with passive aggressiveness) but likes me and chose me to join her team. Ugh. I feel really trapped and awkward now. She said it's a clean slate from hereon but still can't help but feel awkward and anxious.

Put blunty, no, you aren't 'allowed' to voice ambitions to move on from this job within the first week of arriving.

OP As a veteran of many offices, tpd is bang on here, the simple answer is you can THINK it really loudly, but you aren't allowed to say it. As also pointed out, it just rings instant alarm bells with management and colleagues alike who are expecting better commitment. As a manager, yes, ill ask team members how a new start has got on, and if the feedback is that you're talking about slyly leaving, i'm going to feel a bit backstabbed about hiring you if that's the first i'm hearing of it. I might have had to really fight to get someone else for my team, and you've also just kinda ***ked me by causing a snit with MY bosses.

Footballers tend to a be a decent example of this, sign a 4 year deal with a medium level club, yet a few months in starts talking about how they'd like to play on the continent some day.. It's picked up by the media who brand them disloyal, the fans turn on them, a rift opens up in the playing squad, and the player is quite often told to train with the reserves or alone, ie: 'you're not really one of us anymore'. Everyone knows players move on, and them and their agents are always eyeing up bigger clubs, but there's established etiquette for it, you don't make a tit of your new manager who has just announced you to fans and the squad as a great long term deal.

Or in brief - When an interviewer asks 'where do you see yourself in 5 years?'... the correct answer is never 'somewhere else'.

Imagine you started a romantic relationship with someone and a few months in they drop that they're moving on in Sept, and that was always the case? Wouldn't be happy right? Like you'd been misled and wasted your timer and effort.

Well - do you have a place to study medicine starting in September?

Uh... How did you know about the medicine thing?

it was in the first post.

I understand - so how do I rectify this situation? I go back in tomorrow and I already feel really embarrassed/anxious about it...

She said she is starting with a clean slate but I feel like I am jailed there tbh, I do want to get on with life and not stay there forever and plan on leaving about May time so I can focus/relax before postgrad. But she said she would lose all respect for me if I left in two months.

Also, I don't get why executives are pointing out/gossiping about me when I am hitting a barely legal wage job. I genuinely get it if I was on a grad. scheme and not negating the job itself but for peanuts... which grad. would plan on staying there? It's common sense. Furthermore, I did not speak directly to them about moving on, perhaps they alluded from my introduction. I feel really disappointed on myself (I take things hard on the chin) and just feel really anxious about going in. I actually feel like crying because I have ruined my chances.

You've got the dynamic of this all wrong! The TSR language police wouldn't allow me to describe what employers think about people that take permanent jobs with no intention of staying permanently. It's people that do that that make it so difficult for students to get jobs. Why would any employer bother to take a risk employing an 18-22 year old with decent grades and a bit about them, when chances are they are going to swan off to uni in 3 months. Many employers wouldn't waste the training on someone who turned up for a permanent job and made it clear they were only staying for 3 months, they'd be fired on the spot.

Start looking at the world from a perspective that is outside just your preferences. Use some of that 'over-thinking' to think from someone else's perspective.

it's not that deep. Chill.

I understand - so how do I rectify this situation? I go back in tomorrow and I already feel really embarrassed/anxious about it...

She said she is starting with a clean slate but I feel like I am jailed there tbh, I do want to get on with life and not stay there forever and plan on leaving about May time so I can focus/relax before postgrad. But she said she would lose all respect for me if I left in two months.

Also, I don't get why executives are pointing out/gossiping about me when I am hitting a barely legal wage job. I genuinely get it if I was on a grad. scheme and not negating the job itself but for peanuts... which grad. would plan on staying there? It's common sense. Furthermore, I did not speak directly to them about moving on, perhaps they alluded from my introduction. I feel really disappointed on myself (I take things hard on the chin) and just feel really anxious about going in. I actually feel like crying because I have ruined my chances.

I understand - so how do I rectify this situation? I go back in tomorrow and I already feel really embarrassed/anxious about it...

She said she is starting with a clean slate but I feel like I am jailed there tbh, I do want to get on with life and not stay there forever and plan on leaving about May time so I can focus/relax before postgrad. But she said she would lose all respect for me if I left in two months.

Also, I don't get why executives are pointing out/gossiping about me when I am hitting a barely legal wage job. I genuinely get it if I was on a grad. scheme and not negating the job itself but for peanuts... which grad. would plan on staying there? It's common sense. Furthermore, I did not speak directly to them about moving on, perhaps they alluded from my introduction. I feel really disappointed on myself (I take things hard on the chin) and just feel really anxious about going in. I actually feel like crying because I have ruined my chances.

OP As a veteran of many offices, tpd is bang on here, the simple answer is you can THINK it really loudly, but you aren't allowed to say it. As also pointed out, it just rings instant alarm bells with management and colleagues alike who are expecting better commitment. As a manager, yes, ill ask team members how a new start has got on, and if the feedback is that you're talking about slyly leaving, i'm going to feel a bit backstabbed about hiring you if that's the first i'm hearing of it. I might have had to really fight to get someone else for my team, and you've also just kinda ***ked me by causing a snit with MY bosses.

Footballers tend to a be a decent example of this, sign a 4 year deal with a medium level club, yet a few months in starts talking about how they'd like to play on the continent some day.. It's picked up by the media who brand them disloyal, the fans turn on them, a rift opens up in the playing squad, and the player is quite often told to train with the reserves or alone, ie: 'you're not really one of us anymore'. Everyone knows players move on, and them and their agents are always eyeing up bigger clubs, but there's established etiquette for it, you don't make a tit of your new manager who has just announced you to fans and the squad as a great long term deal.

Or in brief - When an interviewer asks 'where do you see yourself in 5 years?'... the correct answer is never 'somewhere else'.

Imagine you started a romantic relationship with someone and a few months in they drop that they're moving on in Sept, and that was always the case? Wouldn't be happy right? Like you'd been misled and wasted your timer and effort.

It’s a business transaction not a romantic relationship. Companies do not have thoughts or feelings.

Any organisation would get rid of you if they had to. OP is working a job on a reception desk. It’s really just a job. When they leave, they will be forgotten within days.