Holy crap, I actually look normal!

Background info - I have huge self-consciousness issues. I hate the way I look, and my personality gets hit because of it. Anon'd because I'm sure a family member/school friend would recognise me from this description because I'll be talking about what I did at school.

Right so yesterday, I went to this family doo (not giving too much information away so a friend or someone recognises me), and I was really quiet and introvert because I was in a suit, and I HATE the way I look - dark skin, big ears, awkward glasses, skinny arms... :frown:

It's been nagging at me for a while now - I don't look the way I feel, so I feel the way I think I look (if that made any sense!) :p:

So I woke up this morning, did the usual - came downstairs, watched some TV and then went for a shower. Took my glasses off (as you do), had one, came out, and I just had a glance in the mirror. My body was proportional - I didn't look like I had skinny arms! My face looked normal, I didn't have huge ears, and I looked normal because I actually had my full 10 hours sleep without any interruptions. Hair looked good too, because it was wet. :biggrin:

Now here's the problem: When I put on my glasses, when I put on my clothes and when I step out that front door, I become the quiet, introvert and avoidant little dip**** that I am again... how can I make myself look 'normal' (ie, happy with myself)? I persuaded my mum to let me get contacts, so that's a start - but I have no idea about my clothes.

Any fashion divas out there know how you can get clothes to match your body type or anything? Is there any way I can make my face look lighter, from a cream or something? (I'm a guy, just fyi) How can I sort out my hair?

Help! I've finally gotten a rope to get me out oft this hole, I just need someone to throw it down for me. :s-smilie:

Reply 1

elziebelzie

12

your appearance magically changed?! but then it changed back?!

im so confused....

Reply 2

emilyjane_09

Let your hair grow out a bit? If you don't like your ears then it'll make you look more confident. There's nothing wrong with having dark skin, just wear colours that compliment it. If you don't like your arms, make sure they're covered up. :smile:

Make sure you keep up the regular sleeping, it'll do wonders for you.
A bit of confidence can make all the difference too.
Good luck!

Reply 3

INTit

17

Buy some wet-look gel and turn nudist ?

Reply 4

Vulpix

10

Since no-one given you anything remotely constructive so far...
Forget making your skin lighter. I'm pretty sure you can't without using some kind of bleach, and that can't be good! By "dark" do you just mean tanned? I'm sure there's nothing wrong with it and there's only you that has a problem.
As for being to skinny, you could ither eat a lot of protein and start doing some form of exercise that you like, or you could go for the whole skiiny-indie-boy look maybe? Although forget the skinny jeans, maybe loose straight legs and then a jumper or polo shirt? Horizontal strips make you look fatter.
Get a haircut.
Embrace your un-normalness!

Reply 5

Muppety_Kid

17

Anonymous

Background info - I have huge self-consciousness issues. I hate the way I look, and my personality gets hit because of it. Anon'd because I'm sure a family member/school friend would recognise me from this description because I'll be talking about what I did at school.

Right so yesterday, I went to this family doo (not giving too much information away so a friend or someone recognises me), and I was really quiet and introvert because I was in a suit, and I HATE the way I look - dark skin, big ears, awkward glasses, skinny arms... :frown:

It's been nagging at me for a while now - I don't look the way I feel, so I feel the way I think I look (if that made any sense!) :p:

So I woke up this morning, did the usual - came downstairs, watched some TV and then went for a shower. Took my glasses off (as you do), had one, came out, and I just had a glance in the mirror. My body was proportional - I didn't look like I had skinny arms! My face looked normal, I didn't have huge ears, and I looked normal because I actually had my full 10 hours sleep without any interruptions. Hair looked good too, because it was wet. :biggrin:

Now here's the problem: When I put on my glasses, when I put on my clothes and when I step out that front door, I become the quiet, introvert and avoidant little dip**** that I am again... how can I make myself look 'normal' (ie, happy with myself)? I persuaded my mum to let me get contacts, so that's a start - but I have no idea about my clothes.

Any fashion divas out there know how you can get clothes to match your body type or anything? Is there any way I can make my face look lighter, from a cream or something? (I'm a guy, just fyi) How can I sort out my hair?

Help! I've finally gotten a rope to get me out oft this hole, I just need someone to throw it down for me. :s-smilie:

I'm probably the last person to be giving fashion advice, but if I were you, I'd change things gradually. You don't want to have a huge makeover and find you hate it, and you come across as trying to be someone you're not.

I know you said you're getting contact lenses, but why don't you like your glasses? Ironically I find that mine suit me (they make me look intelligent :wink:

) - have you thought about going for a square frame with chunky arms? You might also find a bolder colour that suits you; mine are like a metallic red that goes with most colours.

From what you've said, I think it's more to do with confidence than the fact that you look like an idiot. Just about every guy looks good in a suit, but only if he's happy wearing it! Next time you go shopping for clothes, find something you're comfortable in - don't let your mum push you into anything (my mum's given up on trying to make me a girly girl :p:

). What do you wear at the moment? You can't go wrong with a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. :smile:

Above all, you have to be confident. I know it sounds stupid, but you have to tell yourself that you're the most important person in the room. Not in an arrogant way, but you've got nothing to prove to everyone around you (of course you haven't - they're your family and they know you already!). It's a lot less tiring than trying to be the centre of attention all the time.

Hope this is of some help. :hugs:

Reply 6

Eragon452

2

I thought you were my ex from the description then! He's quite fit so I wouldn't worry.

Reply 7

thedevilisback

10

Anonymous

Background info - I have huge self-consciousness issues. I hate the way I look, and my personality gets hit because of it. Anon'd because I'm sure a family member/school friend would recognise me from this description because I'll be talking about what I did at school.

Right so yesterday, I went to this family doo (not giving too much information away so a friend or someone recognises me), and I was really quiet and introvert because I was in a suit, and I HATE the way I look - dark skin, big ears, awkward glasses, skinny arms... :frown:

It's been nagging at me for a while now - I don't look the way I feel, so I feel the way I think I look (if that made any sense!) :p:

So I woke up this morning, did the usual - came downstairs, watched some TV and then went for a shower. Took my glasses off (as you do), had one, came out, and I just had a glance in the mirror. My body was proportional - I didn't look like I had skinny arms! My face looked normal, I didn't have huge ears, and I looked normal because I actually had my full 10 hours sleep without any interruptions. Hair looked good too, because it was wet. :biggrin:

Now here's the problem: When I put on my glasses, when I put on my clothes and when I step out that front door, I become the quiet, introvert and avoidant little dip**** that I am again... how can I make myself look 'normal' (ie, happy with myself)? I persuaded my mum to let me get contacts, so that's a start - but I have no idea about my clothes.

Any fashion divas out there know how you can get clothes to match your body type or anything? Is there any way I can make my face look lighter, from a cream or something? (I'm a guy, just fyi) How can I sort out my hair?

Help! I've finally gotten a rope to get me out oft this hole, I just need someone to throw it down for me. :s-smilie:

Why on earth would you want to make your skin color lighter. As for tips I don't think I could help you as I'm far from a fashion guru, in fact I'm pretty appalling when it comes to fashion, BUT I'd suggest you post a photo on here or PM one to someone who knows what they're talking about and they may help you. Friends can also help quite a lot when it comes to buying new clothes or co-ordinating with the existing ones you have.

Reply 8

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

22

Well for a start, how old are you? I wore glasses between the ages of 7 and 16 and I looked awful - they don't suit me at all.
When I eventually got contacts I looked a little bit more presentable, so I totally know where you are coming from.

I wasn't able to persuade my mam to let me have contacts before 16 though, but when I was starting college so I sort of used that as an excuse to say to her that I was starting to grow up and wanted contacts as a fresh start and all that kind of thing, and she said ok.

Most of it has to do with the fact though that when you're younger if you have bad eyes they keep on deteriorating, until they hit a point where they even out and don't get any worse (until you hit middle age anyway), and for me that happened at around 16.
You might want to check with your optician that your eyes are now stable.

As for the clothes I'm sorry I can't help with that - I'm ridiculously unfashionable.

And then in terms of making your skin colour lighter - that's just silly - stop being daft.

Reply 9

badger stripes

go out nekked :biggrin:

Reply 10

GodspeedGehenna

3

Maybe you should speak to a few people on some Body Dismorphic Disorder forums? You'll probably find some encouraging advice and meet a few people in the same position as you.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Muppety_Kid

Hope this is of some help. :hugs:

It was, thanks! :hugs:

Yeah, I'm 17 and I've been told my my optician that toric lenses are far more comfortable than the gas permeable ones I used to wear, and I'm suitable enough to wear them so it's ok. :yep:

Not sure how I can really wear any clothes that'd cover my arms though, I guess it'd have to be a shirt and jeans really.

Reply 12

ScholarsInk

10

Anonymous

Background info - I have huge self-consciousness issues. I hate the way I look, and my personality gets hit because of it. Anon'd because I'm sure a family member/school friend would recognise me from this description because I'll be talking about what I did at school.

Right so yesterday, I went to this family doo (not giving too much information away so a friend or someone recognises me), and I was really quiet and introvert because I was in a suit, and I HATE the way I look - dark skin, big ears, awkward glasses, skinny arms... :frown:

It's been nagging at me for a while now - I don't look the way I feel, so I feel the way I think I look (if that made any sense!) :p:

So I woke up this morning, did the usual - came downstairs, watched some TV and then went for a shower. Took my glasses off (as you do), had one, came out, and I just had a glance in the mirror. My body was proportional - I didn't look like I had skinny arms! My face looked normal, I didn't have huge ears, and I looked normal because I actually had my full 10 hours sleep without any interruptions. Hair looked good too, because it was wet. :biggrin:

Now here's the problem: When I put on my glasses, when I put on my clothes and when I step out that front door, I become the quiet, introvert and avoidant little dip**** that I am again... how can I make myself look 'normal' (ie, happy with myself)? I persuaded my mum to let me get contacts, so that's a start - but I have no idea about my clothes.

Any fashion divas out there know how you can get clothes to match your body type or anything? Is there any way I can make my face look lighter, from a cream or something? (I'm a guy, just fyi) How can I sort out my hair?

Help! I've finally gotten a rope to get me out oft this hole, I just need someone to throw it down for me. :s-smilie:

I look roughly similar to your description of self and am a designer so PM me and I will try to help.

Reply 13

User192499

15

Anonymous

Background info - I have huge self-consciousness issues. I hate the way I look, and my personality gets hit because of it. Anon'd because I'm sure a family member/school friend would recognise me from this description because I'll be talking about what I did at school.

Right so yesterday, I went to this family doo (not giving too much information away so a friend or someone recognises me), and I was really quiet and introvert because I was in a suit, and I HATE the way I look - dark skin, big ears, awkward glasses, skinny arms... :frown:

It's been nagging at me for a while now - I don't look the way I feel, so I feel the way I think I look (if that made any sense!) :p:

So I woke up this morning, did the usual - came downstairs, watched some TV and then went for a shower. Took my glasses off (as you do), had one, came out, and I just had a glance in the mirror. My body was proportional - I didn't look like I had skinny arms! My face looked normal, I didn't have huge ears, and I looked normal because I actually had my full 10 hours sleep without any interruptions. Hair looked good too, because it was wet. :biggrin:

Now here's the problem: When I put on my glasses, when I put on my clothes and when I step out that front door, I become the quiet, introvert and avoidant little dip**** that I am again... how can I make myself look 'normal' (ie, happy with myself)? I persuaded my mum to let me get contacts, so that's a start - but I have no idea about my clothes.

Any fashion divas out there know how you can get clothes to match your body type or anything? Is there any way I can make my face look lighter, from a cream or something? (I'm a guy, just fyi) How can I sort out my hair?

Help! I've finally gotten a rope to get me out oft this hole, I just need someone to throw it down for me. :s-smilie:

Now don't start going down the face lightening route. I'm sure Michael Jackson originally only wanted to look good, but we all know now what happens when it gets that TEENSY little bit out of hand :P

I'm not a fashion expert, but I do know that generally when it comes to people finding clothing attractive, they do like to see a bit of individuality in others, so don't go worrying about not being "cool" or anything. Like someone said previously, don't go for a massive makeover with your clothes, just dress simply and smartly. A few well-fitted t-shirts, jumpers etc can work wonders, and are fairly neutral so won't be too big a statement. If you're not comfortab;e with skinny arms, don't go for short sleeved button-up shirts, as the looseness of the sleeves make arms look skinnier. Three quarter or full length sleeves are better on shirts, but t-shirts are flattering for all arm shapes so don't worry :smile:

As for glasses/contacts, you do what you feel comfortable with. But remember that glasses don't make you unattractive to others at all!
Not much you can do about your ears, sorry, except as someone said grow your hair a little. But honestly, ear size is not something I personally focus on when finding someone attractive/unattractive, and I'm sure most other people don't either.

We all see more flaws in ourselves than anyone else could EVER see in us. Remember that, and tell yourself that as long as YOU don't draw attention to your least favourite parts, others won't notice. Work on that sunny air of confidence, and you'll soon start to see what others do.

Hope this helps!

Reply 14

NickEM

By the description, there is nothing at all wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with having skinny arms, at all. :smile:

If going out etc though, a good way of concealing your arms is by rolling the sleeves of your shirt just past mid-arm.
And the vast majority of girls I know love dark skin!
About the ears, you could grow your hair a little bit. Long hair can complement a thin physique, too. :smile:

Reply 15

Cassie89

^ you get get really light jumpers or t shirts with arms (topman being good for this)

I'm actually pretty good when it comes to fashion so if you wanna post a pic (or PM me one) I could probably give some less general advice

xx

Reply 16

RoadWarrior

15

Anonymous

It was, thanks! :hugs:

Yeah, I'm 17 and I've been told my my optician that toric lenses are far more comfortable than the gas permeable ones I used to wear, and I'm suitable enough to wear them so it's ok. :yep:

Not sure how I can really wear any clothes that'd cover my arms though, I guess it'd have to be a shirt and jeans really.

Hi, you sound a bit like me! You can wear a casual shirt, and just roll the sleeves up, or wear a thin jumper over it to cover your arms, but it sounds like you look fine :smile:

Reply 17

Lozzaa

9

Did you get bitten by a radioactive spider the night before? That happened to my freind once and the next day when he woke up he no longer needed glasses and was massive.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Lozzaa

Did you get bitten by a radioactive spider the night before? That happened to my freind once and the next day when he woke up he no longer needed glasses and was massive.