Confused about my feelings (the longest read ever)

Hi guys. This is going to be pretty long and I do apologise but I’d love some advice on this! So I’ve known this guy for over a year now and about 6 months ago we started sleeping together. I’d been in a pretty rough patch before this, so at the time this wasn’t a big deal and I only wanted sex too. We started meeting once a month for that reason only, but recently it’s got to me that I do have feelings for him. I’ve been trying to ignore them as I’ve always been rejected and really don’t like the idea of it happening again. I don’t really know what I expect from it all, because I’ve always seen this as that we both want the same thing. I’ve also never had this sort of relationship before, I’ve had a few one night stands but I’ve never had attachment after. When we are around each other we always have a laugh and I think we do enjoy each other’s company. The sex is okay but I think it could be better. The whole thing really is that I think I’m being naive and he really isn’t into me at all he just sees it as one thing. He’s never asked me out for a drink or anything. When we see each other in public, on a night out etc he always speaks to me. I’ve tried talking to him about it. I asked him if he slept with other people and he said he hadn’t, but he made the statement of we are both single so it shouldn’t matter. I took this pretty badly and basically called it off because that made me feel pretty uncomfortable. I also told him that it would upset me if he suddenly told me he was sleeping/seeing someone else so I thought that would be pretty clear that I had some feelings. I think I’m fighting a losing battle really because I’m too scared to talk deeply about anything so try too just continue what we do and ignore my feelings. On a whole when I really think about it all, it makes me feel really ugly and not good enough. In a ideal world I’d like him to tell me he feels the same and we took it from there, but I’m just very confused. Do you think there’s any way he does have some sort of emotion towards me? Or should I end this completely?

Thanks for reading and I hope someone could help!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

you've got a few ways to take it from here, firstly I suggest keeping feelings in has never been a good idea. I believe life is too short to hide how youre feeling in fear that what someone would think or how they would react, yes theres a chance they may reject you but theres a chance they might have never known you had feelings for them so by opening up theres also a chance it goes well? or the second option is you could just keep it all in and not mention anything if the sex is what you're after from them. it all depends on what you want, if you really want him you'd be willing to take the risk and just say it all how it is

Reply 2

Learner777

Some people generally have no emotion towards others. Sex is not a simple thing tho there has to be some type of attraction for him to even touch you so your not ugly or not good enough. Stop having sex for validation that’s what makes you insecure. If you just want sex then of course your going to attract people who don’t have emotions and want no relationship. You need to talk to him and stop having sex falling in love can cause you to be even more upset with yourself.

Confused about my feelings (the longest read ever)

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