I guess I'm not really after answers but I am after thoughts I guess.
I am a 24 year old male, 25 in a few months.
I have used escorts (sex workers) on and off since I was 18.
I met one, shall call her Alice (not working or real name), in July 2017 when I was 22 and she would have been almost 24, so a similar age. I really wanted to see her from her photos online, she lived up to and passed my expectations.
When we first met, I paid for the time, but she was carefree and let me shower before and after the 'activity' time and then we spoke for a few minutes on her bed, just how she'd been camping over the weekend (it was a Monday). She didn't rush me out of the door. That left a lasting impression.
Over the last two and a half years we have met various times. In early, 2018 she suggested when I next booked, that we would go out for a meal and that she would pay for her own food and I would pay for mine. I didn't need to pay for the time spent with her in the restaurant and it did happen. Another time we went out for a drink after a meet, again outside of the paid time and she bought the drinks.
I always felt like I could be friends with his girl, Alice, but thought she wouldn't be interested. We didn't know each others real names or personal phone numbers so I just left it at that. I was happy with that.
I always thought she was single too.
However on my visit to Alice in late 2018 she said she was moving out of where she was living, which is where she used to see clients as an 'independent'. She was going to use an escort agency from now on.
So I booked through the agency in January 2019, and 45mins into a 90min booking, the condom spilt and I came inside of her. She was on the pill and we'd both been previously checked and of course since, no issues.
However she made a comment, 'I can't go home to my financee like this'. I asked if he knew what she did and she said no 'he's a ****'. We spent time then just talking about how he was treating her badly, not paying his way, she hadn't met his parents etc. She was 25 a year ago and he was 35. It was a weird moment. She seemed really down when she had answered the door to me that day too, not excited to see me and it was if she hardly recognised me.
Went to a pub down the road and chatted for a bit. We agreed to swap real names and numbers. We said we'd meet the next week to discuss, but she didn't reply to my texts the following day to ask if she was okay. I didn't put the pressure on and left it for about a month.
In February last year, Alice returned to working on her own but from hotels, I used the website she advertises on to message her about a booking, saying the condom spilt shocked me to sort of get the elephant out of the room.
We met and she pushed me onto the bed when I arrived (still both clothed) and gave me a big cuddle, like she was glad I had come back to see her. She acted dumb though about what we had talked about and I just left it as I thought oh okay.
I met Alice again in March 2019 but this is when it went back the other way. We had our booking but as we were both free for the rest of the day, we just chatted about our own lives, she told me about things that had gone on in her past/childhood etc.
I knew she had a child but we'd never talked about them, but she told me she had a daughter and that she wanted to provide a good family unit for her. She had her daughter when she was 16 years old, so the daughter in March last year was 9 years old. Neither of them had seen the child's father since the day after she was born in 2010.
Alice's mother is an alcoholic and Alice is an only child. She knows her father but her father and mother were never together. Growing up was hard for her. She said she was bullied in school etc. It seesms like she wanted to over compensate for her own daughter for what she never had.
Anway, she told me she had deleted my number and we agreed to try and become proper mates. When she had left that day to go pick up her daughter, she text me for a bit after leaving, which was nice.
April was my birthday and I arranged to see her the day after, I booked the hotel room. However, to cut a long story short, she didn't turn up. This had previously happened in 2018 too and I went to where she was living at the time. She answered and told me her family had turned up out of the blue and that she didn't have her phone to let me know nor could use her laptop. I didn't hear from her for the next few days so went there again, and she told me I couldn't be there and looked very annoyed. However she wasn't precious about it and we have since met various times in the months that have followed. I expected her to refused me any more bookings to be honest after turning up unannounced.
It seems in April 2019, she was going through a tough time, she said she had issues and couldn't leave the house that day, needing time to herself and to block the world out - 'that's how I deal with my issues'.
We spoke on the phone in June, that was the next contact, and she again had been in a negative spiral and had been drinking the night before so much so she couldn't work her day job (she works a 'normal' job too). She said she'd like to meet me one evening for food, 'I will tell him (her fiancee) I am meeting a friend'.
We met in July twice, I told her I wanted to become mates but couldn't really believe we were mates until she turned up with no money on offer. She said she could understand that. The second time we met I invited her to where I live so that she could see I was being sincere.
As well as escorting and her other job, Alice also runs party equipment hire which takes up most of her evenings and obviously the summer is a busy time. She also went on holiday for a week (not with the fiancee I later found out), so I next saw her for a booking in September. I had tried to get her to come out with me in the meantime to no avail, but we spoke on the phone for a good time and texted a little.
I last saw her in October, again for a few hours, booking then time to just chill and chat. She said she was moving out, not telling her finacee where she was going and that her family 'hate' him. She told me he was very needy, always wanted to know where she was and how he had watched her get dressed that morning. She said living with him was exhausting and that he had lost his job.
I spoke to her twice on the phone in December. She told me she had moved and it was 'such a relief not to have to see ******** everyday'.
The second time we spoke in December she asked me if I wanted to meet up New Years Eve. We agreed we could do half and half, have a booking but also stay in a hotel overnight and go out for the countdown etc. It was agreed, and she made a few jokes over the phone with me. That was 12th December.
I left contacting her then until the morning of the 30th, I rang to no answer so then texted her about finalising the plans for NYE but she didn't reply. I was out in the daytime so when I got home that evening I again texted, no response, rang her up, no response, and left a voicemail, no response.
I text the morning of the 31st and no response. I cancelled the hotel.
I text her on the 2nd saying not to worry about NYE, and wished her a happy new year. No response.
I text her yesterday. No response.
I can't understand it. We've always got on well, she's always wanted to expand the boundaries and do things outside of me paying her for sex. She was joking and giggly on the phone. She suggested to me we meet up!
I'm not bothered about not seeing her NYE, I just don't get the lack of contact. If she didn't like me, she wouldn't speak to me on the phone.
I guess she could have been down over Christmas, maybe taking in what had happened that year. She was meant to get married to him but the wedding was cancelled. Maybe it all just dawned on her.
I don't know where I am now though. Is it a phase with Alice and she will come back online again? She told me she drops off the radar with all her friends from time to time.
The last time I saw her in October, she even said 'I need to make more effort with you'.
I like her for her personality, she's funny and down to earth. I don't really care that she is a sex worker. I don't want to be with her or be her boyfriend etc. I just want to be her mate, somebody she can talk to and see for leisure activities. I don't mind paying her for sex still.
She can be flakey though, unreliable etc. She says all these things like wanting to meet up but it just hasn't happened now in the 7 months since she first suggested it.
If she wasn't interested she wouldn't have said all those things unprompted, nor offered in the past to see me around booking times for free - she must enjoy seeing me and my company.
Last year was hard for her living with him etc but now she should be a lot more relaxed and able to do what she wants to do.
This isn't about Alice being a sexworker at all, it's about the weird case of radio silence. I think she suffers from depression/anxiety (not wanting to leave the house etc) and maybe she thinks she doesn't deserve better treatment from people after how her mother, (now ex) finacee and her child's father have treated her.
Could be that she's realised it's unprofessional to have a relationship like that with a customer.
Could be that she doesn't want to be friends anymore.
Could be something to do with her (very controlling) fiancee.