I feel really alone
So I have never been in a relationship I’m a virgin, I’ve never even held hands with anyone. I’m 17 I have only one friend at the moment after being really hurt by a group of friends and having no one to fall back on when I decided to leave them for my mental well being and I find it hard to connect with my family as they are all obsessed with football- watching matches every single day of the week and I just find them really boring and the screaming at the television makes me anxious so I stay in my room. I feel alone all the time. I don’t want to get up in the morning. I look at people my age going to parties hanging out with friends having a relationship and I haven’t done anything. I haven’t got drunk or kissed or held hands or fallen in love or stayed over at a friend’s house not because I don’t want to but because I’ve never had the opportunity to. I’m hard to fit into a box, I’m quite nerdy and political (liberal, but political) which makes people think I’m a prude- it’s worse when they find out I’ve never been to a party or been drunk. I am terribly anxious- always twiddling my thumbs, biting my nails, pulling hairs out of my head and eyebrows when people are talking to me. I don’t know what to do. I am so unhappy. Please help.
Original post by Anonymous
So I have never been in a relationship I’m a virgin, I’ve never even held hands with anyone. I’m 17 I have only one friend at the moment after being really hurt by a group of friends and having no one to fall back on when I decided to leave them for my mental well being and I find it hard to connect with my family as they are all obsessed with football- watching matches every single day of the week and I just find them really boring and the screaming at the television makes me anxious so I stay in my room. I feel alone all the time. I don’t want to get up in the morning. I look at people my age going to parties hanging out with friends having a relationship and I haven’t done anything. I haven’t got drunk or kissed or held hands or fallen in love or stayed over at a friend’s house not because I don’t want to but because I’ve never had the opportunity to. I’m hard to fit into a box, I’m quite nerdy and political (liberal, but political) which makes people think I’m a prude- it’s worse when they find out I’ve never been to a party or been drunk. I am terribly anxious- always twiddling my thumbs, biting my nails, pulling hairs out of my head and eyebrows when people are talking to me. I don’t know what to do. I am so unhappy. Please help.
On the relationship front, another thing that makes it difficult is that I’m also a lesbian but I don’t seem very stereotypical and it’s hardly common knowledge but I can’t make it too obvious that I’m a lesbian around school as my Mum teaches there and I am unsure how she will react so am not ready to tell her.
I feel you. I hope you get some comfort knowing you’re not the only one feeling like this. I’m moving away soon to start uni (I’m 17, 18 this year) so I hope a fresh start will be good for me.
Fake it till you make it and it may turn into your reality. You do not need to be in a relationship at 17 it’s not a must. Just because some other people your age are in a relationship it doesn’t mean you have to be in one. Wait until the right person cones your way and that could be when your in uni.
Friendships come and go and sometimes they are for the right reason. I went to a girls school so I have had some pretty big fallouts when I felt I was all alone but now I look back on it and laugh and I’m happy those friends are out of my life. Focus on the one friendship you still have, you are not completely alone.
Try to talk to new people as well, you do t have to be best friends with them but just people you know you can say hi and have a pleasant conversation with, and maybe later your friends may grow and blossom in future.
Being nerdy and political is not a bad thing, it just means you are smart and have a mind of your own, which triumphs over a lot of things and is what people love. Don’t hold it back, express it.
In terms of your family don’t always stay in your room, go down try to hang out with them a little more and talk to one person about how you are feeling fine to time. I hate telling people how I feel but talking actually makes it better and I know at the time you don’t want to believe it but it’s true.
Finally, going back to my first statement (fake it till you make it and it may become your reality), something that has helped me along the way is picture how you wish you could be e.g confident and outgoing, and try and do the things that make you seem and feel confident. Try to be a new you and be open to new experiences like maybe sitting with a group you don’t talk to so much at lunch and just talk about something random or join their conversation and make it seem like you aren’t scared or nervous but just felt like talking to people and they may see it as you are just outgoing. There are so many videos on YouTube that I like watching that lift my spirits when I feel down and teach me how to be confident in myself and with others.
Friendships come and go and sometimes they are for the right reason. I went to a girls school so I have had some pretty big fallouts when I felt I was all alone but now I look back on it and laugh and I’m happy those friends are out of my life. Focus on the one friendship you still have, you are not completely alone.
Try to talk to new people as well, you do t have to be best friends with them but just people you know you can say hi and have a pleasant conversation with, and maybe later your friends may grow and blossom in future.
Being nerdy and political is not a bad thing, it just means you are smart and have a mind of your own, which triumphs over a lot of things and is what people love. Don’t hold it back, express it.
In terms of your family don’t always stay in your room, go down try to hang out with them a little more and talk to one person about how you are feeling fine to time. I hate telling people how I feel but talking actually makes it better and I know at the time you don’t want to believe it but it’s true.
Finally, going back to my first statement (fake it till you make it and it may become your reality), something that has helped me along the way is picture how you wish you could be e.g confident and outgoing, and try and do the things that make you seem and feel confident. Try to be a new you and be open to new experiences like maybe sitting with a group you don’t talk to so much at lunch and just talk about something random or join their conversation and make it seem like you aren’t scared or nervous but just felt like talking to people and they may see it as you are just outgoing. There are so many videos on YouTube that I like watching that lift my spirits when I feel down and teach me how to be confident in myself and with others.
Original post by Anonymous
On the relationship front, another thing that makes it difficult is that I’m also a lesbian but I don’t seem very stereotypical and it’s hardly common knowledge but I can’t make it too obvious that I’m a lesbian around school as my Mum teaches there and I am unsure how she will react so am not ready to tell her.
hey, everything will be alright ok? if you need a person to talk to I'm here for you
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