Girl 2 is plan B right? Watch

Anonymous #1
#81
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#81
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
The attraction came from him finding her attractive enough physically and attractive enough personality wise.
The lack of sex would add to the desire for him to have sex with her.
That's how people work.

He found you attractive enough physically and personality wise for him to want to have sex with you.
So he found me attractive just like her but you say ours was still shallow?
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Dunnig Kruger
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#82
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#82
(Original post by Anonymous)
So he found me attractive just like her but you say ours was still shallow?
Yes he found you attractive.

Over time he discovered some important, below the surface incompatability that wasn't apparent when he was first getting to know you that led to him splitting up with you.

My understanding is that you had some huge argument over something? Leading to my guess that he left you because the 2 of you are incompatible in how you resolve conflict.
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Anonymous #1
#83
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#83
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Yes he found you attractive.

Over time he discovered some important, below the surface incompatability that wasn't apparent when he was first getting to know you that led to him splitting up with you.

My understanding is that you had some huge argument over something? Leading to my guess that he left you because the 2 of you are incompatible in how you resolve conflict.
But why did he find me attractive after 2 years? He knew me since 2016 but didn't approach me. Was just friends. But he met her next year and from the very first time he saw her, he went after her straight away.

Our argument was difficult because I wasnt willing to listen to him. He was straight up being cranky and getting away with it and it irritated me a lot. Also he would get passive aggressive and expect me to read his mind.
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PhoenixFortune
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#84
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#84
(Original post by Anonymous)
Our argument was difficult because I wasnt willing to listen to him. He was straight up being cranky and getting away with it and it irritated me a lot. Also he would get passive aggressive and expect me to read his mind.
Do you really want to get back together with someone like that?
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Dunnig Kruger
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#85
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#85
He found her looks or personality or both more attractive in her than he did in you.

He found both you and her attractive enough for him to want to have sex with both or either of you.

When he was in Nice, she wasn't on the cards for him. You were. So he went with you.

When he returned to the UK, he had a 2nd opportunity at getting involved with her, which he took.

What you've said in this thread is confirmation is that Girl 2 is more compatible with him than you in how she resolves conflict. Girl 2 is better able to handle his crankiness and passive aggression than you.
This young man is not the man for you. Go out and find someone less cranky and less passive aggressive. Sort of the male equivalent of Girl 2 would be more suitable for you.
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Anonymous #1
#86
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#86
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
He found her looks or personality or both more attractive in her than he did in you.

He found both you and her attractive enough for him to want to have sex with both or either of you.

When he was in Nice, she wasn't on the cards for him. You were. So he went with you.

When he returned to the UK, he had a 2nd opportunity at getting involved with her, which he took.

What you've said in this thread is confirmation is that Girl 2 is more compatible with him than you in how she resolves conflict. Girl 2 is better able to handle his crankiness and passive aggression than you.
This young man is not the man for you. Go out and find someone less cranky and less passive aggressive. Sort of the male equivalent of Girl 2 would be more suitable for you.
He has described her as "most beautiful he ever saw". Which I dont understand. And he even told the friend that he could never take his eyes off her each time he saw her.

I'm mean I wasnt in nice but I'm from nice so we started talking and I would fly from london to see him.

But girl 2 seems like dolt. A sub girl because she just goes with the flow and rarely gets aggressive with him. For all I know, she gets quiet and withdraws without saying anything until he starts giving her looks.
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Anonymous #1
#87
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#87
(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
Do you really want to get back together with someone like that?
I just feel used. I thought I was the one until I found out that there was this girl 2 in the picture before me. Now I suspect what if he actually decided to date me because he was frustrated because of his failure with her.
Because I find it funny that he is the same guy who showed no interest in me and was hooking up with another friend of ours before meeting girl 2. To suddenly give in after coming to Nice. I mean I understand he might have felt I'm nice/helpful considering he was hurt and angry after the fiasco with girl 2.

But now I feel like she may always been my competition even if it was negative.
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Anonymous #1
#88
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#88
(Original post by Anonymous)
I just feel used. I thought I was the one until I found out that there was this girl 2 in the picture before me. Now I suspect what
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
He found her looks or personality or both more attractive in her than he did in you.

He found both you and her attractive enough for him to want to have sex with both or either of you.

When he was in Nice, she wasn't on the cards for him. You were. So he went with you.

When he returned to the UK, he had a 2nd opportunity at getting involved with her, which he took.

What you've said in this thread is confirmation is that Girl 2 is more compatible with him than you in how she resolves conflict. Girl 2 is better able to handle his crankiness and passive aggression than you.
This young man is not the man for you. Go out and find someone less cranky and less passive aggressive. Sort of the male equivalent of Girl 2 would be more suitable for you.
I thought I was the one until I found out that there was this girl 2 in the picture before me. Now I suspect what if he actually decided to date me because he was frustrated because of his failure with her.
Because I find it funny that he is the same guy who showed no interest in me and was hooking up with another friend of ours before meeting girl 2. To suddenly give in after coming to Nice. I mean I understand he might have felt I'm nice/helpful considering he was hurt and angry after the fiasco with girl 2.

But now I feel like she may always been my competition even if it was negative. Like what if all the time he was comparing me to her thinking I'm better.

I'm the end, she was the one in his head to make such comparisons?
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Drewski
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#89
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#89
You're still banging on about this? Jeezus. He's well shot of you.
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PhoenixFortune
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#90
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#90
(Original post by Anonymous)
I just feel used. I thought I was the one until I found out that there was this girl 2 in the picture before me. Now I suspect what if he actually decided to date me because he was frustrated because of his failure with her.
Because I find it funny that he is the same guy who showed no interest in me and was hooking up with another friend of ours before meeting girl 2. To suddenly give in after coming to Nice. I mean I understand he might have felt I'm nice/helpful considering he was hurt and angry after the fiasco with girl 2.

But now I feel like she may always been my competition even if it was negative.
So if he had actually started dating another girl after you, and not gone back to Girl 2, would you feel used then?
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Anonymous #1
#91
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#91
(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
So if he had actually started dating another girl after you, and not gone back to Girl 2, would you feel used then?
No I wouldnt. As the girl is new to him. This one however isnt. He knew her since 2017 and he has described it numerous times to this friend of ours as "love at first sight". He was after her ever since he first saw her.
That itself makes the situation different.
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PhoenixFortune
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#92
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#92
(Original post by Anonymous)
No I wouldnt. As the girl is new to him. This one however isnt. He knew her since 2017 and he has described it numerous times to this friend of ours as "love at first sight". He was after her ever since he first saw her.
That itself makes the situation different.
Then you've answered your own questions. You're torturing yourself regarding where you stood in your relationship, whether your ex had feelings for Girl 2 throughout your relationship with him, and jealousy about how he's obviously madly in love with her and wasn't so much like that with you.

If you feel this way, and want answers, then your ex is the best person to talk to about this. If you can have an open and honest conversation about it (i.e. whether your ex had feelings for Girl 2 during your relationship, how you feel now), then you might actually get the closure you need.
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Anonymous #1
#93
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#93
(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
Then you've answered your own questions. You're torturing yourself regarding where you stood in your relationship, whether your ex had feelings for Girl 2 throughout your relationship with him, and jealousy about how he's obviously madly in love with her and wasn't so much like that with you.

If you feel this way, and want answers, then your ex is the best person to talk to about this. If you can have an open and honest conversation about it (i.e. whether your ex had feelings for Girl 2 during your relationship, how you feel now), then you might actually get the closure you need.
It's no longer possible as we arent on talking terms. Due to our break up, a lot of our friends got a bit awkward with him and ever since he started dating that girl, he has distanced himself a lot from us. His political stance has also gone down quite a bit. He seems to speak just like her instead of us

Shes not a part of the group , none of our friends know her so he spends all his time with her now. Very rarely, I hear him coming to meet our friends. The last time he met us was 3 months ago.

Since then, he hasn't but hes in our whatsapp group chat so I can see his pic/stories and it's always something to do with her. He was even using her photo as his whataspp profile pic and uploaded a story of her holding a bouquet of flowers for submitting her dissertation.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#94
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#94
(Original post by Anonymous)
He has described her as "most beautiful he ever saw". Which I dont understand. And he even told the friend that he could never take his eyes off her each time he saw her.

I'm mean I wasnt in nice but I'm from nice so we started talking and I would fly from london to see him.

But girl 2 seems like dolt. A sub girl because she just goes with the flow and rarely gets aggressive with him. For all I know, she gets quiet and withdraws without saying anything until he starts giving her looks.
Indeed.

His taste in what he finds beautiful in women is different to yours.
That's fine. Other men will have different tastes to him.

Your lack of understanding over this is further confirmation that you are somewhat lacking in empathy, sympathy and understanding of others. That's OK to some extent. Nobody's perfect.

It's her doltishness as you put it, her going with the flow, her lack of aggression that makes her more compatible with him in the way she deals with conflict.
As a metaphor, think of him as being like a spikey iron hand. She is like a sponge. He sinks into her and she absorbs him. You are like a spikey iron hand too. Put you and him together amd you grate and grind against each other too much.
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Anonymous #1
#95
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#95
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Indeed.

His taste in what he finds beautiful in women is different to yours.
That's fine. Other men will have different tastes to him.

Your lack of understanding over this is further confirmation that you are somewhat lacking in empathy, sympathy and understanding of others. That's OK to some extent. Nobody's perfect.

It's her doltishness as you put it, her going with the flow, her lack of aggression that makes her more compatible with him in the way she deals with conflict.
As a metaphor, think of him as being like a spikey iron hand. She is like a sponge. He sinks into her and she absorbs him. You are like a spikey iron hand too. Put you and him together amd you grate and grind against each other too much.
Well for start I ll describe her how she looks. Shes short and ethnic I'm 100% sure. Fair olive skinned. Long dark hair. Very big eyes but brown in colour so nothing special. Looks very young. And maybe a bit curvy.

I personally do not find this attractive in any way shape or form. I'm white, a bit taller than her, skinnier but I do play up my boobs with push up bras and have manageable short black hair. My eyebrows are thicker than hers at least.

Well I dunno. I ve seen her talk and shes very different with him than with others.
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Drewski
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#96
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It's no longer possible as we arent on talking terms. Due to our break up, a lot of our friends got a bit awkward with him and ever since he started dating that girl, he has distanced himself a lot from us. His political stance has also gone down quite a bit. He seems to speak just like her instead of us

Shes not a part of the group , none of our friends know her so he spends all his time with her now. Very rarely, I hear him coming to meet our friends. The last time he met us was 3 months ago.

Since then, he hasn't but hes in our whatsapp group chat so I can see his pic/stories and it's always something to do with her. He was even using her photo as his whataspp profile pic and uploaded a story of her holding a bouquet of flowers for submitting her dissertation.
You have a deeply unhealthy and unhelpful obsession.
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Anonymous #1
#97
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#97
(Original post by Drewski)
You have a deeply unhealthy and unhelpful obsession.
You have nothing better to say so stop ? I already said we are in the same set of friendship group. Hes in our whatsapp groups so what's the obsession? I can see him in the chat each time he replies.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#98
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#98
(Original post by Anonymous)
Well for start I ll describe her how she looks. Shes short and ethnic I'm 100% sure. Fair olive skinned. Long dark hair. Very big eyes but brown in colour so nothing special. Looks very young. And maybe a bit curvy.

I personally do not find this attractive in any way shape or form. I'm white, a bit taller than her, skinnier but I do play up my boobs with push up bras and have manageable short black hair. My eyebrows are thicker than hers at least.

Well I dunno. I ve seen her talk and shes very different with him than with others.
She sounds attractive to me.

You sound attractive to me too. And you'd probably be more my physical type than her.

But she is obviously his type. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
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Drewski
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#99
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#99
(Original post by Anonymous)
You have nothing better to say so stop ? I already said we are in the same set of friendship group. Hes in our whatsapp groups so what's the obsession? I can see him in the chat each time he replies.
Doesn't need to be better when it's accurate.
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Anonymous #1
#100
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#100
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
She sounds attractive to me.

You sound attractive to me too. And you'd probably be more my physical type than her.

But she is obviously his type. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
But how is she his type when he dated me? We are poles apart in terms of looks? I can see a pattern with the friend he hooked up with as she also had long dark hair and was short except she was light skinned with green eyes.
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