Emetophobia

My name is Sophie and as you can tell by the title some people might already know what it means but for those who don’t emetophobia is condition where your terrified of sick. Since I’ve known what sick is I’ve been absolutely terrified of it nothing triggered it to start I’ve just always been scared I was petrified about everything to do with sick the smell, sound, look. As a child I was really bad the condition was much worse but as I’ve got older I’ve noticed it and figured ways to calm it a little. If anyone were to be sick in my house I would immediately wake up jump out my bed and start walking round in circles for hours covering my ears nose and eyes I would panic so badly I wouldn’t go near anyone it took me a long to time to get settled I shared a room with my sister and if she was sick I wouldn’t sleep in the bed with her. I would tell myself I wasn’t too eat after 6 o’clock or I would be sick it was out of control or if anyone says sick I immediately become aware and start asking question to avoid them being sick or if someone has a bug I lock myself in my room no heat or anything cause cold kills the bug and use hand sanitizer every time I touched something the infected person did people think I’m crazy but they don’t understand what it does to your head. In my time There have been people who have been sick infront of me and it has really freaked me out I would sweat ide think I was gonna be sick but it actually did help in a way I think this was part of the reason I calmed down I told myself that sick isn’t so bad and it’s getting rid of bad things in your tummy but ovcourse that was until I started feeling sick myself. But anyways now you know what it is I’m going to tell you how I cope with it today, I haven’t actually been diagnosed with emetophobia it was my family who found out about it and instantly I knew I had it I watch videos of other people with the condition and I relate so well it makes me feel normal but as I’ve actually got older the condition has got a little out of hand this past year I have constantly been getting not well to the point I’ve lost count and it’s made my anxiety really bad because I’m scared to get not well again Infact I’m not well right now but as I was saying my anxiety got really bad and the only time I was at ease was when I was with my partner because I told myself if I’m with them I won’t be sick that didn’t quite work out as I was sick but whenever I’m with them they take my mind of thinking of it all the time but then when I leave them I get really panicky and start crying because I’m so terrified to sleep at night incase I wake up and be sick. During a time of me being unwell or being sick I don’t eat for days and don’t sleep I won’t wear the same clothes I wore when I was sick because I tell myself I’ll be sick if I put them on I won’t eat anything I eat that day and that is effecting my weight I’m becoming scarily underweight I overthink so much I make myself not well. This is a serious condition and one nobody talks about because it sounds silly people would think it’s strange but nobody’s knows what I or other people like me go through and people experience worse than this it’s something that should be spoken about because like a fear of spiders it can be overcome but with sick it’s something you can’t get away from because it happens all the time. This condition has had me at my lowest to the point it messes my head so much I’ve not wanted to be here to everyone out there with this condition your doing amazing tell yourself your gonna be okay because if you’ve made it this far your really are amazing ❤️