I'm sick of how things work Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#1
You get picked on for being the "quiet" kid.. Well guess what I'm only quiet because YOU forced me into it and now I have developed anxiety and even OCD.. You have ruined my life, lowered my self esteem given me depression I only listen to sad music to deal with life. People who are loud are very "sociable" and accepted in society but bring quiet is weird?.. What have I ever done except mindd my own business like are you alright? I don't even have the confidence to ask the teachers for help in class anymore, please if you have a quiet kid in your class just cut them some slack YES they are normal people just like you. There's always a reason as to why they're quiet instead of knowing why you judge them so ignorantly. Everywhere I go I'm not accepted for being myself?
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
You okay there buddy? You can talk to me, I’ll listen 😊
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#3
Throughout my life I have always been a shy and timid kid.. This imo has been due to early experiences in school (reception) where this one child used to push me to the ground everyday in the playground. I used to fear going outside from that day and cried every second of my school life. I used to get happy when it rained so I didn't need to go out and play. This guy really scarred me however I started making friends and everything starting being fine again (during year 2). However I could never really fit in, even though they were my friends at some points they wouldn't let me play and join in so I used to play all alone and even at one point tried making friends with people from other years but it never worked out. Despite that there were occasional experiences with bullying however I had dealt with most and we even became friends.

In secondary school I was friends with most popular people who were from my primary school telling me if anyone messed with me I should tell them. This was due to them feeling sorry for me in all honesty and some were actually my good friends in primary. Some people hurt me physically and emotionally but I still didn't tell my friends as I thought I would look bad in front of the guy who BULLIED me.. I forgot to mention that I am very insecure since primary school as the more popular people who actually wanted to help me now were very close minded in terms of that if you for example were to dance or something like that (idek how to explain it) even if you were good at it they would laugh at you and think that's weird. So I used to be cautious over EVERYTHING if my bag was too bright etc. and I really cared about what people thought due to this.. So carrying on from earlier half the bullies in my life I could've sorted out if I was confident in telling people. In year 7 I was bullied amongst my friendship group but Year 8 however was the worst times of my life. I started making fun of other people because that what they did to me, I really felt great with my other friend however soon after he turned on me and throughout that year the stuff they all did to me I could not near enough explain to you.. They hurt me physically and mentally so hard even when I came home I couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact I developed anxiety (I don't even remember if it was from primary school or secondary) I used to fear going to school and had the Monday blues everyday my chest used to hurt and I used to stress nearly everyday as I never did my homework I couldn't even sleep at night. In year 9 this one boy bullied me throughout year 9 and 10 to such an extent I'm crying just by thinking of it. He used to victimize me all the time even in the changing rooms and the funny thing is that I could've stopped him as my friends from primary school were at the top of the hierarchy and could've easily stopped him however I stayed quiet and I really don't know why.. Even my own friends starting bullying me (whenever I get into relationships I end up getting bullied) I used to cry they used to do so many things to me even following me home whilst making fun of me. Man if I could express to you half the things they did to me you would be thinking questioning how one person could take so much and still be going.. I was embarrassed throughout in front of the whole class.. In front of the girl I LIKED.. It still carries on through different people even today. People make fun of me for being too quiet and I don't have the confidence to speak as if I do then people say "wow he can speak?" and I just don't want to deal with that as I get embarrassed me in front of the whole class. Man I didn't even go into detail with this despite writing so much there is so much more to say but I can't otherwise it will be way too long. I am constantly stressed as even at home I'm expected to get top grades however I don't really try in school or at home idk why.. I just procrastinate and really regret it. Almost everyday my heart hurts due to stress and even gained OCD or something throughout the way where I have to force myself to breathe out nice smells.. People bully me for being to quiet but they don't understand my life I've got anxiety my voice breaks up when I get called by the teacher to answer a question and my mind goes blank I get nervous walking to the other side of the class. My life is so sad I get stress from school and home. I listen to sad music everyday I try to fit in by acting all "road" and dressing like one. But I'm SO SICK OF IT I can't stand another day I'm in year 11 now but whatever class I'm in there's always someone picking on me and I'm the type of person where if you say one minor thing to me I can't stop thinking about it for a LONG time. I rushed this so didn't even reach half of the things in my life. But no one understands me and I just wanted to pour my heart out in this forum so that somebody can see what I've been through.
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Manxie101
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#4
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#4
Can relate 👏🏼
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000_0000
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
Throughout my life I have always been a shy and timid kid.. This imo has been due to early experiences in school (reception) where this one child used to push me to the ground everyday in the playground. I used to fear going outside from that day and cried every second of my school life. I used to get happy when it rained so I didn't need to go out and play. This guy really scarred me however I started making friends and everything starting being fine again (during year 2). However I could never really fit in, even though they were my friends at some points they wouldn't let me play and join in so I used to play all alone and even at one point tried making friends with people from other years but it never worked out. Despite that there were occasional experiences with bullying however I had dealt with most and we even became friends.

In secondary school I was friends with most popular people who were from my primary school telling me if anyone messed with me I should tell them. This was due to them feeling sorry for me in all honesty and some were actually my good friends in primary. Some people hurt me physically and emotionally but I still didn't tell my friends as I thought I would look bad in front of the guy who BULLIED me.. I forgot to mention that I am very insecure since primary school as the more popular people who actually wanted to help me now were very close minded in terms of that if you for example were to dance or something like that (idek how to explain it) even if you were good at it they would laugh at you and think that's weird. So I used to be cautious over EVERYTHING if my bag was too bright etc. and I really cared about what people thought due to this.. So carrying on from earlier half the bullies in my life I could've sorted out if I was confident in telling people. In year 7 I was bullied amongst my friendship group but Year 8 however was the worst times of my life. I started making fun of other people because that what they did to me, I really felt great with my other friend however soon after he turned on me and throughout that year the stuff they all did to me I could not near enough explain to you.. They hurt me physically and mentally so hard even when I came home I couldn't stop thinking about it. In fact I developed anxiety (I don't even remember if it was from primary school or secondary) I used to fear going to school and had the Monday blues everyday my chest used to hurt and I used to stress nearly everyday as I never did my homework I couldn't even sleep at night. In year 9 this one boy bullied me throughout year 9 and 10 to such an extent I'm crying just by thinking of it. He used to victimize me all the time even in the changing rooms and the funny thing is that I could've stopped him as my friends from primary school were at the top of the hierarchy and could've easily stopped him however I stayed quiet and I really don't know why.. Even my own friends starting bullying me (whenever I get into relationships I end up getting bullied) I used to cry they used to do so many things to me even following me home whilst making fun of me. Man if I could express to you half the things they did to me you would be thinking questioning how one person could take so much and still be going.. I was embarrassed throughout in front of the whole class.. In front of the girl I LIKED.. It still carries on through different people even today. People make fun of me for being too quiet and I don't have the confidence to speak as if I do then people say "wow he can speak?" and I just don't want to deal with that as I get embarrassed me in front of the whole class. Man I didn't even go into detail with this despite writing so much there is so much more to say but I can't otherwise it will be way too long. I am constantly stressed as even at home I'm expected to get top grades however I don't really try in school or at home idk why.. I just procrastinate and really regret it. Almost everyday my heart hurts due to stress and even gained OCD or something throughout the way where I have to force myself to breathe out nice smells.. People bully me for being to quiet but they don't understand my life I've got anxiety my voice breaks up when I get called by the teacher to answer a question and my mind goes blank I get nervous walking to the other side of the class. My life is so sad I get stress from school and home. I listen to sad music everyday I try to fit in by acting all "road" and dressing like one. But I'm SO SICK OF IT I can't stand another day I'm in year 11 now but whatever class I'm in there's always someone picking on me and I'm the type of person where if you say one minor thing to me I can't stop thinking about it for a LONG time. I rushed this so didn't even reach half of the things in my life. But no one understands me and I just wanted to pour my heart out in this forum so that somebody can see what I've been through.
can't u talk to someone at home or in school? like a do you have a counciler in school that u could talk to
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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(Original post by 000_0000)
can't u talk to someone at home or in school? like a do you have a counciler in school that u could talk to
I don't want to speak to anyone at home or school, my self esteem may already be low but I'd be ashamed if anyone knew about this..
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000_0000
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't want to speak to anyone at home or school, my self esteem may already be low but I'd be ashamed if anyone knew about this..
they would try to help u get through this im sure
i had i problem with my ex-friends i wanted to do d of e with them but they didn't want me in the group even though there was space and i stopped being friends with them, i didn't tell my parents for around 3 weeks but they knew something was wrong and asked i bust into tears, and felt mch better
i know it isn't nearly as bad as what you go through but i feel u would feel much better getting it off your chest by talking to a person physically and they can help you.
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