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Scared about sex

First of all im not scared of having sex as the title says just to make things clear. In november 2019 i tried having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, we tried for about 20 minutes but i just couldnt get hard enough to do it and if i did by the time i had the condom on the erection will go away. Now i am scared that the next time i try to have sex the same thing will happen again, i did some research and i feat it might be porn induced ED but i’ve quit for some time and i can’t really get erections without looking at porn. I’ve been very stressed about this for the last couple of weeks..

and also no i am not gay, im into females.
I have the same problem with my partner (they’re the one with the erectile dysfunction) and we’ve been trying to change our aims for sex, if that makes sense? Rather than putting pressure on staying hard or coming, we’re having open discussions before and after and working out what does and doesn’t work. It’s not “typical sex”, but it helps us to appreciate our bodies and one another more and enjoy the experience in a different way. If that kinda thing isn’t for you though, I would recommend talking to a doctor and potentially considering viagra. Also, it’s not too uncommon to play/watch porn together whilst having sex, you could possible mention this to your girlfriend and see if you think it might work?

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