Giving relationship a 3rd chance? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I ve posted before.
This is about my previous sort of "relationship". Though we weren't actual lovers, we were almost one until I ****ed up on multiple occasions. She was making attempts to talk to me, even asked me out (that time I was taken aback by her sudden offer so hurriedly said no but regretted it ALOT)
After that, I still wanted her to ask me out and chase me but she began to act reserved. I would always pretend like I didn't know her in frnt of friends/people. Only wanting to speak to her alone. I did this because our interactions had a lot of sexual tension but I guess I looked horrible to her. She most likely felt I didnt like her but it wasnt true. I kinda of stalked her once, whistled behind her to get her attention and would say hello and walk away, hoping she would come over and talk to me. She didnt. It made me furious and i gave her angry glares.

She did come to talk to me and said she felt I didnt want to talk to her. I got really defensive and my ego was refusing to admit my mistakes so I kinda blamed her for everything and pretended like I have no recollection of anything romantic brewing between us.. She told me she had something to say to me but I refused to listen to her. I decided to cut her off from my life and moved on.

After 3-4 months , I started dating a girl I was friends with before and was having sex with regularly with her. However, my ex girlfriend was not someone I felt the same attraction for nor was our connection that deep. The sex was great, we had fun times exploring different places and she made me meet her family.

But gradually our arguments got out of hand and she was a self proclaimed feminist. She took offense to everything and refused to give me a chance or hear me out. So we broke up.

I was sulky after my break up but my old flame is here and I had seen her. The break up with my ex didnt hurt that much and in the end, the one person who still came to my mind was my old flame. I was nasty towards her and I know shes hurt.

We crossed each other 2 times and i ve looked at her to which she looked down and walked away.
I somehow managed to talk with her and she gives no smile. Talks very seriously and didnt ask me a single word about myself.
I invited her to coffee and she has agreed to join me tomorrow.

Please give some suggestions as to what can I do? Btw she knows I was dating my ex so I think shes hurt because of that as well .
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Anonymous #1
#2
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#2
Btw she seems like a very quiet and calm person. I'm a bit concerned as I feel shes a bit scared of me.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
I'm saying 3ed chance due to this timeline
1st time - asked her have we met before. She said no and I stopped talking to her

2nd time- the whole story I wrote above and I ended up destroying it.

3rd time - NOW
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I ve posted before.
This is about my previous sort of "relationship". Though we weren't actual lovers, we were almost one until I ****ed up on multiple occasions. She was making attempts to talk to me, even asked me out (that time I was taken aback by her sudden offer so hurriedly said no but regretted it ALOT)
After that, I still wanted her to ask me out and chase me but she began to act reserved. I would always pretend like I didn't know her in frnt of friends/people. Only wanting to speak to her alone. I did this because our interactions had a lot of sexual tension but I guess I looked horrible to her. She most likely felt I didnt like her but it wasnt true. I kinda of stalked her once, whistled behind her to get her attention and would say hello and walk away, hoping she would come over and talk to me. She didnt. It made me furious and i gave her angry glares.

She did come to talk to me and said she felt I didnt want to talk to her. I got really defensive and my ego was refusing to admit my mistakes so I kinda blamed her for everything and pretended like I have no recollection of anything romantic brewing between us.. She told me she had something to say to me but I refused to listen to her. I decided to cut her off from my life and moved on.

After 3-4 months , I started dating a girl I was friends with before and was having sex with regularly with her. However, my ex girlfriend was not someone I felt the same attraction for nor was our connection that deep. The sex was great, we had fun times exploring different places and she made me meet her family.

But gradually our arguments got out of hand and she was a self proclaimed feminist. She took offense to everything and refused to give me a chance or hear me out. So we broke up.

I was sulky after my break up but my old flame is here and I had seen her. The break up with my ex didnt hurt that much and in the end, the one person who still came to my mind was my old flame. I was nasty towards her and I know shes hurt.

We crossed each other 2 times and i ve looked at her to which she looked down and walked away.
I somehow managed to talk with her and she gives no smile. Talks very seriously and didnt ask me a single word about myself.
I invited her to coffee and she has agreed to join me tomorrow.

Please give some suggestions as to what can I do? Btw she knows I was dating my ex so I think shes hurt because of that as well .
Bump
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
Bumopp
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Anonymous #2
#6
Report 1 month ago
#6
Honestly mate you sound like a bit of a douche whether you meant to be or not and even if you did end up with this girl she probably wouldn’t trust you and I can tell you from experience this ruins relationships.
It also sounds like you don’t actually like this girl that much, you’ve ****ed her over twice for one, I think that you just miss the attention now that she’s started to move on. Give it a go if you want but you’re probably going to end up hurting her again from what you’ve said.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly mate you sound like a bit of a douche whether you meant to be or not and even if you did end up with this girl she probably wouldn’t trust you and I can tell you from experience this ruins relationships.
It also sounds like you don’t actually like this girl that much, you’ve ****ed her over twice for one, I think that you just miss the attention now that she’s started to move on. Give it a go if you want but you’re probably going to end up hurting her again from what you’ve said.
Why do you think I dont like her?
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Anonymous #2
#8
Report 1 month ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Why do you think I dont like her?
Just what you did to her, you got with that other girl so why couldn’t you with this one? She even asked you out.

I get freaking out if you like someone and saying the wrong thing but getting angry at her and refusing to hear her out doesn’t sound like you like her especially cause she hasn’t done anything wrong, you got angry cause she wasn’t giving you attention, this makes it sound like that’s all you want from her.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just what you did to her, you got with that other girl so why couldn’t you with this one? She even asked you out.

I get freaking out if you like someone and saying the wrong thing but getting angry at her and refusing to hear her out doesn’t sound like you like her especially cause she hasn’t done anything wrong, you got angry cause she wasn’t giving you attention, this makes it sound like that’s all you want from her.
I dont know. With her, I was really nervous and didnt know how or what to say to her. I was expecting everything from her like asking me out etc.
With the other girl or girls, I never had any issues.
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Just what you did to her, you got with that other girl so why couldn’t you with this one? She even asked you out.

I get freaking out if you like someone and saying the wrong thing but getting angry at her and refusing to hear her out doesn’t sound like you like her especially cause she hasn’t done anything wrong, you got angry cause she wasn’t giving you attention, this makes it sound like that’s all you want from her.
Initially I misinterpreted that she didnt like me. When I asked her have we met before, I was expecting a romantic reply that yes we have. When she said no, I got pissed.
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Anonymous #2
#11
Report 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
Initially I misinterpreted that she didnt like me. When I asked her have we met before, I was expecting a romantic reply that yes we have. When she said no, I got pissed.
That’s a pretty stupid thing to get mad over mate, you got mad cause she said she didn’t like you?
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ella1902
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#12
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#12
It depends on her, but if I was in her situation I would have decided you aren’t somebody for a relationship, friends maybe hence coffee, but I would steer clear. Best approach is probably be very friendly, caring, sweet, and appreciate her. Show her (not tell) that you made a mistake and that you’re making an effort to be better and hope she forgives you
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Anonymous #1
#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That’s a pretty stupid thing to get mad over mate, you got mad cause she said she didn’t like you?
No I asked her have we met before. She said no. She was the one who came over to talk to me. I wanted a romantic response like yes we ve met before (we hadn't met, we were just staring at each other for the few days)
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Anonymous #1
#14
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(Original post by ella1902)
It depends on her, but if I was in her situation I would have decided you aren’t somebody for a relationship, friends maybe hence coffee, but I would steer clear. Best approach is probably be very friendly, caring, sweet, and appreciate her. Show her (not tell) that you made a mistake and that you’re making an effort to be better and hope she forgives you
But I had a relationship after her and have had before her then I'm unable to figure out my failure here. Though I do have an aggressive temper and I dont like to hear what I dont want to here and that has caused break ups in friendships before
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ella1902
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
But I had a relationship after her and have had before her then I'm unable to figure out my failure here. Though I do have an aggressive temper and I dont like to hear what I dont want to here and that has caused break ups in friendships before
That doesn’t really relate to what I said. You acted like a **** to her, if you really want a relationship with her get your temper and ego in check and be sweet and lovely to her and hope she will give you a chance.
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
(Original post by ella1902)
That doesn’t really relate to what I said. You acted like a **** to her, if you really want a relationship with her get your temper and ego in check and be sweet and lovely to her and hope she will give you a chance.
Yeah right. What do you think I can do to make her happy? She looks very sad tbh and shes very quiet and timid around me.
Also why do you think I'm a failure with her?
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Anonymous #2
#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
No I asked her have we met before. She said no. She was the one who came over to talk to me. I wanted a romantic response like yes we ve met before (we hadn't met, we were just staring at each other for the few days)
How is saying yes we’ve met before romantic? It’d just be a lie so why you getting mad over that?
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Anonymous #1
#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
How is saying yes we’ve met before romantic? It’d just be a lie so why you getting mad over that?
I thought it would mean romance ? By saying no I thought she denied all the attraction we shared by staring and me trying to appear cool around her
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reinaadira
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#19
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#19
I would definitely steer clear of a guy who pretends not to know me because he wants to talk to me alone- sorry because this age isn't for playing games! I don't blame her for wanting a more mature approach than someone who can't make up their mind. You rejected her but wanted you to chase you- that literally doesn't happen. You say you regretted it but you could have told her no? She probably thought you were an immature **** especially as you would whistle and walk away because who wants to play hide and seek.

I don't think you'll get another chance with this girl considering what you did. But I guess maybe next time cut down the hide and seek play and try to get more to the point, it might help unless you find a girl who loves that sort of stuff which I'm sure exists
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Anonymous #2
#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
I thought it would mean romance ? By saying no I thought she denied all the attraction we shared by staring and me trying to appear cool around her
Wtf? She literally just told you the truth what more do you want, it’s not like she came up to you and told you she hated you or anything.

Honestly I think you need to grow up a bit, if you like her show it don’t expect her to come chasing after you when you’ve basically told her not to, it’s definitely not something you should be getting angry at her over.
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