Mature student with 3 children Watch

Ekangur01
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My sister is 39 and has 3 great kids (10 and 6,6) she’s currently doing a degree at Liverpool university and is struggling with the workload, trying to retain info ect. She’s really bright and I know she can do it but is losing motivation. Anyone she knew doing a similar course and has kids has dropped out/ failed.
Has anyone done a similar degree with kids that can share their experience? Or can tell me a story of someone to pass on, she just needs to know it can be done (which I know it can) but the motivation would really help right now.
TIA X
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Jackie_O
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I'm older than your sister and started a higher education course last September but I don't have young children; however, we had someone from the previous year visit the college to tell us how her first year at university is going. She is a 44 year old woman with three children. She's enjoying the university course. She's married and her husband helps out. Your sister probably needs that kind of support to help her through. It's easy to feel overwhelmed but if she can be really organised and get support, she will be able to finish her degree. Three years will go very quickly.

Also, when my son was at school his best friends (widowed) mother did a law degree. At the time she had two children in school. It can be done.
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Ekangur01
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(Original post by Jackie_O)
I'm older than your sister and started a higher education course last September but I don't have young children; however, we had someone from the previous year visit the college to tell us how her first year at university is going. She is a 44 year old woman with three children. She's enjoying the university course. She's married and her husband helps out. Your sister probably needs that kind of support to help her through. It's easy to feel overwhelmed but if she can be really organised and get support, she will be able to finish her degree. Three years will go very quickly.

Also, when my son was at school his best friends (widowed) mother did a law degree. At the time she had two children in school. It can be done.
Thank you so much for you’re reply. She has a husband who is very helpful and supportive and sisters (me included) who can help however I think she’s losing motivation as she doesn’t know any specific person that’s done it.
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Jackie_O
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I hope that my two examples can show that it can be done. If I can find two people, I'm sure there are others who have done it. It's funny though that it wouldn't be so much of a problem if she was a mature single woman or man. I don't mean to sound flippant; it's just that when children are involved life can be more complicated - but it doesn't need to be! As I said, three years will go very quickly and she will never regret it. Her whole family will benefit from what she's doing now. I wish her the very best.
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Ekangur01
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(Original post by Jackie_O)
I hope that my two examples can show that it can be done. If I can find two people, I'm sure there are others who have done it. It's funny though that it wouldn't be so much of a problem if she was a mature single woman or man. I don't mean to sound flippant; it's just that when children are involved life can be more complicated - but it doesn't need to be! As I said, three years will go very quickly and she will never regret it. Her whole family will benefit from what she's doing now. I wish her the very best.
Thank you they have and I agree totally. I think the main reason it’s such an issue has she has kids is because it affects the whole family life and quality of life.
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SocialStudent794
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I started my degree in 2015 and a month later found out I was pregnant. I could have deferred or dropped out (like many others on the course had started to do) but I had waited so long for this that I didn’t want to waste any more years. I was 28 at the time. Although the classes were on a weekend it was still classes as full time due to the requirements of working with children. My second year wasn’t too bad because I was on maternity leave but the third year I had a 1 year old and a full time job as well a degree to work for. I persevered and at times the mum guilt was killing me, I wouldn’t see my son on some evenings because I just had to get my assignments done.

I’ve just become a mum for a second time, he’s currently 2 weeks old. In July I go to Warwick Uni for a 5 week residential before embarking on my Social Work training and Masters. I’ll have a 4 year old and a 7 month old at home, I’m currently breastfeeding my baby and we’ve just found he has an allergy to cows milk (meaning I’m going to have to start expressing a whole lot of milk ready for summer). I’m already dreading not being able to see my kids Mon-Fri but it’s to give them a better life in the long run. It’s a small sacrifice that won’t last forever, but the hard work that will pay off will last a life time. I hope your sister can find the strength to continue with her degree. My first degree was at LJMU and the staff were very supportive, offering extensions when necessary. I wish your sister all the luck in the world with her degree xx
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FV75
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I'm a mature student in my 40s and in my 3rd year of a degree. I don't have kids but there are 2 students (also in their 40s) doing a related course, they both have kids and have struggled sometimes, but with good support from their friends and family they have made it through to the final year.

And far from dropping out or failing, we 40-somethings are all on course for a first class degree. It can be done!

Does your sisters uni have a mature student society? If it does, she can meet other parents in the same situation, studying different subjects, and share her experiences with people who 'get it'. It makes a big difference to have that support. I wish her all the best.
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Emzz..
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Hi, I’m 33 single mother of two aged 7 and 13months I’m in my second year. It is hard, not going to lie and someone asked me the other day how I do it and honestly I don’t know but what keeps me going is 1. Remembering I’m doing this for my kids as well. 2. I picture them at my graduation with me.

My study time is when everyone is sleeping.

Good luck to your sister I wish her the best she can do this hang in there
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GatoMessi
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My youngest sister is 34 and has 3 children (age 12, 8 and 2). She isn't a University student. She works 3 times a week in a law firm especially in Wills, but she also studying to become a fully qualified lawyer (especially in Wills, of course). She has examination on rarely basis. At many times, she found it very hard to concentrate on her study in the evening because of major distractions with all of her 3 children. So far, she had passed all of her examinations - with more to come.

I can understand how hard it is to keep up motivation but hopefully your sister hasn't lost her motivation.
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MidgetFever
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I don't personally have children of my own but one of my good friends at uni does. She has two kids, works part time and is on track to achieve a first in her second year. It can definitely be done! I can imagine it being very stressful as there is a lot to balance but I've always admired those who manage to do it! Good luck to your sister, I'm sure she'll find her drive.
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giella
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In my final year in similar circumstances. If she is struggling, better to take time off, recuperate and go back rested than it is to try and push through and get to the point where the degree is unsalvageable. Or to consider going part time. It is worth it, but sometimes it is necessary to take a break and deal with the other stuff, put your house in order and then return on an even keel. Getting the degree in the end is what matters, not the route you took to get there.
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ElizaBen
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Hi there,

I am currently studying an Access to HE Diploma - so not at university yet, but I am 38, work two days a week and go to college two nights per week. I have a 14 year son and 5 year old little boy who is severely autistic non verbal, and a husband that works shifts. I can totally empathise with your sister feeling overwhelmed and I’m not even at uni yet, so hats off to your her. We have lots of assignments to complete on our course and I’ve found that planning is the best strategy. I go through my calendar and assign certain days and times to study/write essays. Sometimes in the quieter moments (normally when I’m in bed) I do some reading, make some notes in preparation for when I actually sit down to write my essay. It’s not a perfect system and I still get overwhelmed but I feel a little.more in control. Good luck to your sister and keep on championing her.
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