Extremely isolated and alone at uni, need advice Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I came to uni thinking this would be the best time of my life and I haven't made even one friend here. I have social anxiety which is why I didn't make friends in first year. I am now starting the second semester of second year I've only been back 3 days and I'm already really depressed. Seeing all these couples about makes me feel like crying since I really want a girlfriend but don't know how to go about getting one. I'm just feeling so alone here I just want a group of friends to talk to and a girlfriend who I love and care about and feels the same with me. I can't have another semester like the last three it is too painful. How do I break out of my shell and meet friends this late into uni?
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
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I'm in a similar position to you and understand the feeling, it's so depressing and upsetting I don't have social anxiety but somehow found it challenging to connect with anyone at uni and I was a sociable and outgoing person back in school and college so this was a complete shock to me, and I'm still confused as to why I'm in this position because I have put myself out there, I've done what others have suggested with these societies but just haven't gained anything from it and interactions with the people I connect with seem to disappear within a few mins especially when exchanging social media details. I'm also in second year and start the second term next week and I believe when I return it will be the same experience. I wish I could give you advice but I can barely give myself any. I would say continue trying, I know it's easier said than done. But just go up to random people in the library or the canteen who are sitting by themselves who look like they would be friendly and opening, and say a compliment or something to get it going and see where it takes you. Someone suggested that I should do this on this forum but I haven't got the guts todo it, I think I'm going to as I have got a new hairstyle, hopefully that will give me luck.
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Anonymous #3
#3
Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I came to uni thinking this would be the best time of my life and I haven't made even one friend here. I have social anxiety which is why I didn't make friends in first year. I am now starting the second semester of second year I've only been back 3 days and I'm already really depressed. Seeing all these couples about makes me feel like crying since I really want a girlfriend but don't know how to go about getting one. I'm just feeling so alone here I just want a group of friends to talk to and a girlfriend who I love and care about and feels the same with me. I can't have another semester like the last three it is too painful. How do I break out of my shell and meet friends this late into uni?
Hi,
I've graduated uni so hopefully I can help.
First you have to remember uni is a tough place. You can feel isolated and you are not alone. You could consider contacting your uni wellbeing service for counselling/therapy as a start? Also you are never too late to make friends! Think about study groups, sports, hobbies like art, board games, any interest you have and there will be societies or social media marketing to meet people.
One step at a time as I know it is difficult and easy to put off, but you can do it! I found lectures actually ok to meet people as you just sit next to someone else sitting alone and say hi, do we have coursework, when is our lab project due, comment on the lecturer... anything?! If they ignore you, don't worry and try again next time. Most of the time you may build it up in your head and it's not as bad as you think
Finally, don't try to force getting a girlfriend. I have done this and it doesn't come naturally. Develop a friendship and if you start to feel comfortable, see if you can develop it. I've had similar problems to this as I was scared of commitment and opening myself up to anyone interested in me and I regret it, but I learnt from it
Good luck and this is just advice so no need to take all (or any) of it!
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Anonymous #4
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I came to uni thinking this would be the best time of my life
looool same bro, they overhyped this **** so hard. also id say maybe join societies, go clubs, talk to whoever you sit next to in lectures - even if it's like "i like your shirt" or "nice trainers" or "do you get what he/she is talking about?" with regards to the lecturer.
then dont resist any convos with people and watch the friendships flourish

youll be fine, it's all unfolding in the right time x
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