Think i have feelings

So in a nut shell .. I’m at uni ovbs I’m 40 and i have. A friend who’s 20 ..i have full respect for her and understand the age difference is a positive no which is why she’s my friend... but there’s a issue ...ive developed feelings for her ... I don’t want to i tell myself wake up its not appropriate she’s 20 I’m 40... i respect her and i respect myself to be the adult and draw the line but what do i do ? Do i just have to take my own advice .. i mean I’m a young 40 my peers thought i was 29 or something so i quite healthy young looking and fit as in pyscail appearance ... but what should i do

don't be a nonce

Be mature about it and don’t share your feelings. I’m not against age gaps, but she is much younger than you and I personally believe that relationship would be appropriate. Just think, when she was born you were already 20...

Reply 3

PhoenixFortune

Original post by Anonymous

I guess you have to ask yourself: what do you envisage happening if you tell her about your feelings? If she reciprocates, would it be a viable relationship given your age difference? Sometimes big age gaps can work, but only if both people are on the same page regarding personality/life goals.

If she has never shown a romantic interest in you, then it's likely that telling her how you feel would have a negative outcome i.e. you'd lose her as a friend (as she'd feel awkward and want to distance herself from you).

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Lol my thoughts exactly lol

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

don't be a nonce

She would have to be under age for that though and she's an consenting adult...loo but the I nature answer was worth a try hey

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

she’s a consenting adult, whilst the age is perhaps something you’d double take on, none of us can speak for her. you have to bite the bullet and make your move or you’ll really never know !

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by PhoenixFortune

Yes and I don't aim to do that I value her friendship and if say no she spends time with me alone and things we laugh giggle but maybe she just feels safe around me with my age like a dad figure so to be honest I don't think I would want to spoil that special bond

Reply 8

Toscana

mate i feel for you but its not socially acceptable to be in a relationship with her. try and find a woman who is at least 30 since th age gap is too large here. she definitely wouldnt reciprocate the feelings either no offence. youre prob a swell guy but just dont go for it, you will embarrass yourself

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the advice... And I totally agree which is why for 6 months I've just kept it simple because your absoukty right is be rejected on the age gap and it's just not right is it when you think about it it would be odd...dont get me wrong I'm not looking for a relationship... Maybe I'm just lonely and I enjoy her company so much

Reply 10

kai130305

Original post by Anonymous

well I think follow through with you feelings because you should always be honest and ik its a large age gap however she is legal so it might be looked down by some ppl but perfectly legal however I would make sure you receive similar energy back before you tell her

Reply 11

Toscana

Original post by Anonymous

you would probably enjoy the company of a 35 year old woman a lot more than a 20 year old woman lets be real. youre doing yourself a favour here. of course, the choice is still yours. i just hope youre prepared for the possible consequences of your actions