Struggling with 1st year of uni Watch

wrighty1137
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Hi all,
just thought I'd quickly ask for some advice.

I've been back at uni for a week since the Christmas break, but it was the break itself being back with friends and family at home that made me realised that university hasn't actually been that great.

As an introvert, I knew that first term would be difficult especially making friends, but I got together with a group who I used to meet with fairly regularly for nights out during first term. However, they seemed more interested in partying compared to anything else and whilst I don't mind this, I'm not really too keen when this is almost every night! It also meant I was fairly lonely during the day and often felt upset with no one around me for the first term. (days often felt long and tiring).

However, it has got worse since I got back. The group I was with will organise and do things without me, meaning I have effectively been isolated in my room the last week. They have also got a house planned for next year, leaving me currently with no one to share for next year. This makes me particularly worried, as my parents keep asking who I'll be living with next year, as they don't want me to miss out.

I feel as though everyone I talk too I keep saying I am doing fine, so they don't worry about me, but in reality this is not the case.

Any advice about how I can meet more people and make closer friends will be greatly appreciated. It's now got to the point where my social anxiety is creeping back in to my life and just leaving me completely empty, with no energy for social interactions. I just want to meet some people like me...
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Toscana
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wait hold up. you cant just stay in halls for year 2+?? you have to rent a house?? nobody told me this wtf 😨😂
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wrighty1137
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(Original post by Toscana)
wait hold up. you cant just stay in halls for year 2+?? you have to rent a house?? nobody told me this wtf 😨😂
Im not too sure! I've been told that I can apply to stay in halls again in 2nd year, but first preference goes to 1st year and international students so it is unlikely that I will get a room in halls again.
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YaliaV
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You will find somewhere to live. I think it’s a good thing that you won’t be living with them because there’s no connection there.

Have you joined any societies?
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Liam Murty
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(Original post by Toscana)
wait hold up. you cant just stay in halls for year 2+?? you have to rent a house?? nobody told me this wtf 😨😂
Halls are gross. Living in a house is wayyyyy better.
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Liam Murty
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(Original post by wrighty1137)
Hi all,
just thought I'd quickly ask for some advice.

I've been back at uni for a week since the Christmas break, but it was the break itself being back with friends and family at home that made me realised that university hasn't actually been that great.

As an introvert, I knew that first term would be difficult especially making friends, but I got together with a group who I used to meet with fairly regularly for nights out during first term. However, they seemed more interested in partying compared to anything else and whilst I don't mind this, I'm not really too keen when this is almost every night! It also meant I was fairly lonely during the day and often felt upset with no one around me for the first term. (days often felt long and tiring).

However, it has got worse since I got back. The group I was with will organise and do things without me, meaning I have effectively been isolated in my room the last week. They have also got a house planned for next year, leaving me currently with no one to share for next year. This makes me particularly worried, as my parents keep asking who I'll be living with next year, as they don't want me to miss out.

I feel as though everyone I talk too I keep saying I am doing fine, so they don't worry about me, but in reality this is not the case.

Any advice about how I can meet more people and make closer friends will be greatly appreciated. It's now got to the point where my social anxiety is creeping back in to my life and just leaving me completely empty, with no energy for social interactions. I just want to meet some people like me...
I must say I do feel sorry for you!
Not to patronise but you sound like you've put all your eggs in one basket.
If you want to keep getting invited to the things your friends do then you'll have to go to all these nights out (at least partially) and pretend to enjoy them but the way I see it, that ship has sailed.
I think you're honestly going to have to fight off that social anxiety and branch out- go to every social for your course- even if you hate it; keeping up appearances is still pretty important these days.
When you meet people- yes even in a club- as them for their instagram or snapchat.
I hate the smell of cigarettes but some people love the smoking areas and that is where they meet the most people so maybe try that.
I also find that in terms of nights out, going out in a pair means you meet way more people.

I know that sounded very night-club centred but that's more my thing as I haven't really joined any societies. I remember how awkward my course was until we went on the first social and it really broke the ice.
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wrighty1137
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(Original post by YaliaV)
You will find somewhere to live. I think it’s a good thing that you won’t be living with them because there’s no connection there.

Have you joined any societies?
Yes I go to a couple as often as I can which is definitely good. At the moment they are only really people I see at the society events and that's it, but hopefully I can get more confident and change that this term.
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wrighty1137
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(Original post by Liam Murty)
I must say I do feel sorry for you!
Not to patronise but you sound like you've put all your eggs in one basket.
If you want to keep getting invited to the things your friends do then you'll have to go to all these nights out (at least partially) and pretend to enjoy them but the way I see it, that ship has sailed.
I think you're honestly going to have to fight off that social anxiety and branch out- go to every social for your course- even if you hate it; keeping up appearances is still pretty important these days.
When you meet people- yes even in a club- as them for their instagram or snapchat.
I hate the smell of cigarettes but some people love the smoking areas and that is where they meet the most people so maybe try that.
I also find that in terms of nights out, going out in a pair means you meet way more people.

I know that sounded very night-club centred but that's more my thing as I haven't really joined any societies. I remember how awkward my course was until we went on the first social and it really broke the ice.
Okay, thanks for the advice! I'm gonna try and overcome my fears and branch out a bit. I think that's all I can do know and then just hope for the best.
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shnac99
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Is there no private halls you can apply for?
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aneblla
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I'm like you except I chose not to go to uni and now I am at home while most of my friends are either working or at uni or both and I'm just stuck at home ngl I like it at home but you do feel very lonely and feel like you're wasting days away. If I went to uni I'd imagine I would be in a similar situation to you did none of your friends from school or college go to the same uni as you? You can always get speaking to them the best way to make friends is through friends of friends trust me even if you join a social group or whatever there might be some complete losers there but they might have one cool friend you get a long with really well and they can introduce you to more people and more people. be friendly but not fake and you should be good. Also you can meet people at clubs to but you don't have to go everyday to them! maybe every friday or saturday or maybe even a random day like tuesday night when there will be less people so it would be easier to meet people cus its less crowded ?
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