Oxford and visitors

I just received a conditional offer to study at Oxford (Magdalen) next year. I'm very excited and pretty much certain that I'll go firm on them.
My friends are all also excited for me and lots are saying "you'll have to invite me up for a weekend!" etc. However, I can't find any information on whether guests are allowed to stay overnight like that. I know it's a minor thing but if I'm not allowed to have people up overnight I pretty much can't have people at all, as I live an inconvenient distance from Oxford just for people to come for a day trip. I'd like to be able to make people aware of the fact that it may not be possible, and also factor it into making a decision on firming Oxford. If anybody has any idea at all then please let me know!

OP

bump

First of all. Huge congratulations on getting an offer to study at Oxford. You should be immensely proud of yourself. As for your accommodation question. I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t be able to stay unless you have to share a bedroom with another student and they felt uncomfortable.

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 3

AzureCeleste

20

First of all, I wouldn't factor in friends staying as an important factor. Chances are they re very busy and won't have time to come up and you will be busy with uni too! The amount of friends who I was like oh I'll visit you but just never had the time was crazy!
But anyway, you should be allowed friends over. Nothing should be stopping you.

Reply 4

nexttime

22

Original post by rwhitaker1

I just received a conditional offer to study at Oxford (Magdalen) next year. I'm very excited and pretty much certain that I'll go firm on them.
My friends are all also excited for me and lots are saying "you'll have to invite me up for a weekend!" etc. However, I can't find any information on whether guests are allowed to stay overnight like that. I know it's a minor thing but if I'm not allowed to have people up overnight I pretty much can't have people at all, as I live an inconvenient distance from Oxford just for people to come for a day trip. I'd like to be able to make people aware of the fact that it may not be possible, and also factor it into making a decision on firming Oxford. If anybody has any idea at all then please let me know!

There will be college rules on the issue. Generally speaking it will not be allowed (although the rules may be a little vague regarding ahem occasional nighttime encounters) but literally everyone will do it anyway and if you don't cause trouble no one will know. Like, if you're allowed to have a guest over for a visit/party, and that visit/party happens to last until 3 or 5am... which, you know, isn't impossible... what's the difference between staying the night and that really?

It'll be fine. Just don't make it obvious. The main barrier is likely to be work in all honesty! Although socialising is obviously easily possible at Oxford, having a whole weekend completely free can be a challenge!

Reply 5

rwhitaker1

OP

11

Original post by AzureCeleste

First of all, I wouldn't factor in friends staying as an important factor. Chances are they re very busy and won't have time to come up and you will be busy with uni too! The amount of friends who I was like oh I'll visit you but just never had the time was crazy!
But anyway, you should be allowed friends over. Nothing should be stopping you.

It won't be the deciding factor, it's more that I'd like to know/be prepared! I'm aware that probably most of them won't ever follow through with the suggestion, but the few I'm very close to are taking a gap year, so I'm under the impression that they'll have more time than most for the first year and I don't want to just cut them off. You're right, though, I'm sure I will be busy!

Reply 6

rwhitaker1

OP

11

Original post by nexttime

There will be college rules on the issue. Generally speaking it will not be allowed (although the rules may be a little vague regarding ahem occasional nighttime encounters) but literally everyone will do it anyway and if you don't cause trouble no one will know. Like, if you're allowed to have a guest over for a visit/party, and that visit/party happens to last until 3 or 5am... which, you know, isn't impossible... what's the difference between staying the night and that really?

It'll be fine. Just don't make it obvious. The main barrier is likely to be work in all honesty! Although socialising is obviously easily possible at Oxford, having a whole weekend completely free can be a challenge!

I see! That makes sense. Keep it quiet and nobody has to know. I'll probably end up being so busy that that sort of thing happening frequently will be unlikely :smile:

Reply 7

nexttime

22

Original post by rwhitaker1

I see! That makes sense. Keep it quiet and nobody has to know. I'll probably end up being so busy that that sort of thing happening frequently will be unlikely :smile:

You also get busy with Oxford friends and societies and things like that... term time is always busy! And you do inevitably drift away from home friends too, sadly. Nevertheless, plenty of people did have people visiting. Very occasionally.

Reply 8

username5021692

16

So if you had a bf/gf you wouldn't let them stay overnight because of some stuffy rules?? Learn to live a little x and congrats on the offer.

Reply 9

rwhitaker1

OP

11

Original post by aciana

So if you had a bf/gf you wouldn't let them stay overnight because of some stuffy rules?? Learn to live a little x and congrats on the offer.

Haha, I suppose I'd just assumed that anybody I'd be dating would also be a student at the university so it wouldn't be the same deal, but you're right in that I'd probably ignore the rules and let them stay overnight regardless :biggrin:

Reply 10

sarahpr

8

Original post by rwhitaker1

I just received a conditional offer to study at Oxford (Magdalen) next year. I'm very excited and pretty much certain that I'll go firm on them.
My friends are all also excited for me and lots are saying "you'll have to invite me up for a weekend!" etc. However, I can't find any information on whether guests are allowed to stay overnight like that. I know it's a minor thing but if I'm not allowed to have people up overnight I pretty much can't have people at all, as I live an inconvenient distance from Oxford just for people to come for a day trip. I'd like to be able to make people aware of the fact that it may not be possible, and also factor it into making a decision on firming Oxford. If anybody has any idea at all then please let me know!

Most colleges allow overnight guests stay in your room for a limited number of nights. It would seem that Magdalen is not one of those colleges but that doesn't usually stop people from having friends over anyway.

Reply 11

OxFossil

19

As others have said, in practice, one or 2 overnight guests in your room is perfectly normal, so long as it isnt massively indisceet, and few would notice if those guests came into Hall for breakfast next day. Most (all?) colleges do also have provision for students to book a guest in for a short stay in guest room(s). They do charge for this though

Reply 12

astro67

10

Original post by rwhitaker1

I just received a conditional offer to study at Oxford (Magdalen) next year. I'm very excited and pretty much certain that I'll go firm on them.
My friends are all also excited for me and lots are saying "you'll have to invite me up for a weekend!" etc. However, I can't find any information on whether guests are allowed to stay overnight like that. I know it's a minor thing but if I'm not allowed to have people up overnight I pretty much can't have people at all, as I live an inconvenient distance from Oxford just for people to come for a day trip. I'd like to be able to make people aware of the fact that it may not be possible, and also factor it into making a decision on firming Oxford. If anybody has any idea at all then please let me know!

The key question is what Magdalen's specific arrangements are. I think most colleges are fine with overnight guests for a night or two although they typically ask that you sign them in so they know they are there in case of a fire (drill). 'Typical' rules don't apply, though - only Magdalen's rules matter. The rest of us are only guessing. That said, I'm pretty sure Magdalen students have friends staying over, the same as other colleges, however they do it.

Reply 13

mishieru07

12

Original post by rwhitaker1

I just received a conditional offer to study at Oxford (Magdalen) next year. I'm very excited and pretty much certain that I'll go firm on them.
My friends are all also excited for me and lots are saying "you'll have to invite me up for a weekend!" etc. However, I can't find any information on whether guests are allowed to stay overnight like that. I know it's a minor thing but if I'm not allowed to have people up overnight I pretty much can't have people at all, as I live an inconvenient distance from Oxford just for people to come for a day trip. I'd like to be able to make people aware of the fact that it may not be possible, and also factor it into making a decision on firming Oxford. If anybody has any idea at all then please let me know!

I didn't go to Magdalen but I definitely did host friends who were visiting overnight. My SO was from another college, and neither of us have ever received complaints about staying overnight.

I think my college's official policy is you're only allowed to have guests over for a certain number of nights and you're supposed to inform the college (for fire safety). Magdalen probably has similar rules, but you should check. For the record, I was lazy so I never registered my guests/ SO :tongue:

As long as you're discreet and don't attract attention, you'll probably be fine. You should however be careful if you host people for extended periods or a lot of people at once - I think one of my friends was found out because the scouts noticed extra bedding in her room etc.

Reply 14

OxFossil

19

Original post by mishieru07

... I think one of my friends was found out because the scouts noticed extra bedding in her room etc.

Yes, the scouts are your greatest ally - or adversary. Back in my day, my scout was so dismayed at never finding any evidence of an overnight guest in my room, she tried to set me up with someone.

Meanwhile, at least until very recently, there were a small number of UG rooms dotted around the Christ Church campus which had double beds. In fact, they were convertible - two single mattresses laid ontop of a frame that could be slid out to form a double. The frames had a padlock so that - in theory - only the scout was able to unlock the frames when the bed needed conversion. In practice, those students generally wanted their beds doubled, whilst the scouts always wanted them single, so kept them padlocked up at all times. So a kind of silent war went on between students and scouts, one which the Bursar declined to intervene in.

What hapopenes now is that the UGs in these rooms have a small secret society who share methods of springing padlocks. The morning before their scout is due to clean, they fold their double beds back to form the single and lock the padlock. As soon as s/he is done, they spring the lock and re-form the double. Everyone is happy.

Reply 15

nexttime

22

Original post by OxFossil

Yes, the scouts are your greatest ally - or adversary. Back in my day, my scout was so dismayed at never finding any evidence of an overnight guest in my room, she tried to set me up with someone.

Meanwhile, at least until very recently, there were a small number of UG rooms dotted around the Christ Church campus which had double beds. In fact, they were convertible - two single mattresses laid ontop of a frame that could be slid out to form a double. The frames had a padlock so that - in theory - only the scout was able to unlock the frames when the bed needed conversion. In practice, those students generally wanted their beds doubled, whilst the scouts always wanted them single, so kept them padlocked up at all times. So a kind of silent war went on between students and scouts, one which the Bursar declined to intervene in.

What hapopenes now is that the UGs in these rooms have a small secret society who share methods of springing padlocks. The morning before their scout is due to clean, they fold their double beds back to form the single and lock the padlock. As soon as s/he is done, they spring the lock and re-form the double. Everyone is happy.

That's interesting because Catz, significantly more modern than ChCh both physically and supposedly in attitude, or so they'd have you believe - has extra narrow beds supposedly to try to discourage co-occupancy.

Reply 16

ConicalFlask

13

Magdalen student here - as far as I know guests aren't allowed in your room and you need to book a guest room for them, but in practice no one ever listens to that and unless they're annoying your neighbours no one will care. There's no point in telling the porters etc. for fire safety reasons because there's no body count when a fire alarm goes off, and no requirement for current students to even be in their rooms anyway. Overall - it'll be absolutely fine.

Reply 17

rwhitaker1

OP

11

Original post by ConicalFlask

Magdalen student here - as far as I know guests aren't allowed in your room and you need to book a guest room for them, but in practice no one ever listens to that and unless they're annoying your neighbours no one will care. There's no point in telling the porters etc. for fire safety reasons because there's no body count when a fire alarm goes off, and no requirement for current students to even be in their rooms anyway. Overall - it'll be absolutely fine.