Army boyfriend being deployed Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Hi there,
My boyfriend and I haven’t been dating for long, I’ve met him several times and I really like him; he’s sweet, caring and makes me laugh... BUT he’s in the army. He’s getting deployed for 8 months and I don’t know what to do, I want to be with him but 8 months is a long time, I question his loyalty too(he hasn’t done anything and has never given me that impression it’s just previous relationships), just wanting some advice on what to do and say x
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Surnia
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Do you know where he's deploying (the general area, don't put specifics)? Not familiar enough with Army ops to know where this might be, especially for 8 months. This will affect how you can communicate, including the time difference. In some places use of personal mobile phones is restricted, but phone cards are issued to use landlines. Other places there will be use of emails, Skype etc. There are also 'blueys', which are free email letters that you can pick up at the post office, and now an online mail services. You might also have the opportunity to send 'care packages', parcels with toiletries, magazines, sweets, just little gifts and practical items that are always appreciated. It is doable, but takes a lot of patience, and allowing for the other person being busy and sometimes absolutely knackered from work! Best thing is to talk with him, find out more about his job, how often he might be away (I would think there'd be a reasonable time back at home base after an 8-month stint) and where his job could take him in the UK, as he won't always be in one place. And ask him about how to keep in touch whilst he's deployed; tell him you'd like an address to post stuff and how would it work with phone and e-mail. His reaction to that might tell you how he views the relationship.

I'm ex-RAF, as is my boyfriend, and when we both served we spent a lot of time apart because of our day jobs, let alone deployments; longest period was a year. There's Forces families that manage it, too, with someone back home working, looking after children etc, so it's common, though I know it's scary when the relationship is new and unfamiliar to you.

There's also an Armed Forces forum (under Careers and Jobs) where this kind of thing has been discussed; if you post on there, read the security rules and don't give too much away about the situation.

Been through this, so happy to chat further!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Do you know where he's deploying (the general area, don't put specifics)? Not familiar enough with Army ops to know where this might be, especially for 8 months. This will affect how you can communicate, including the time difference. In some places use of personal mobile phones is restricted, but phone cards are issued to use landlines. Other places there will be use of emails, Skype etc. There are also 'blueys', which are free email letters that you can pick up at the post office, and now an online mail services. You might also have the opportunity to send 'care packages', parcels with toiletries, magazines, sweets, just little gifts and practical items that are always appreciated. It is doable, but takes a lot of patience, and allowing for the other person being busy and sometimes absolutely knackered from work! Best thing is to talk with him, find out more about his job, how often he might be away (I would think there'd be a reasonable time back at home base after an 8-month stint) and where his job could take him in the UK, as he won't always be in one place. And ask him about how to keep in touch whilst he's deployed; tell him you'd like an address to post stuff and how would it work with phone and e-mail. His reaction to that might tell you how he views the relationship.

I'm ex-RAF, as is my boyfriend, and when we both served we spent a lot of time apart because of our day jobs, let alone deployments; longest period was a year. There's Forces families that manage it, too, with someone back home working, looking after children etc, so it's common, though I know it's scary when the relationship is new and unfamiliar to you.

There's also an Armed Forces forum (under Careers and Jobs) where this kind of thing has been discussed; if you post on there, read the security rules and don't give too much away about the situation.

Been through this, so happy to chat further!
He’s going somewhere in Russia but he can’t tell me where, he’s not allowed a SIM card so it would just be letters and FaceTimes but there is obviously the time zone difference. I think I’m just scared because it’s so unfamiliar for me and I don’t know how to act and what to say and do
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He’s going somewhere in Russia but he can’t tell me where, he’s not allowed a SIM card so it would just be letters and FaceTimes but there is obviously the time zone difference. I think I’m just scared because it’s so unfamiliar for me and I don’t know how to act and what to say and do
Sorry, 8 months for a deployment sounded an odd length of time for deployment, but Russia? Is he saying he's British Army or from elsewhere? Has he said what his job is and where he is normally based? So to worry you, but if he says he's British Army I'm a bit suspicious of his story.
Last edited by Surnia; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Sorry, 8 months for a deployment sounded an odd length of time for deployment, but Russia? Is he saying he's British Army or from elsewhere? Has he said what his job is and where he is normally based? So to worry you, but if he says he's British Army I'm a bit suspicious of his story.
Yeah British army, I’ve stayed at his base. He says he’s got 2 weeks off in the middle of 8 months but I thought that sounded strange, his deployment keeps changing all the time apparently.
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Anonymous #1
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His thing isn’t for deployment for fighting it’s for Exercises overseas but he’s not really telling me much
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah British army, I’ve stayed at his base. He says he’s got 2 weeks off in the middle of 8 months but I thought that sounded strange, his deployment keeps changing all the time apparently.
This is odd
It’s been a while but I was under the impression that single servicemen were not allowed overnight guests in barracks so where did you stay?
And the British army does not have troops stationed in Russia
Either you’re trolling or he’s spinning you a yarn
Last edited by Sammylou40; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Surnia)
Sorry, 8 months for a deployment sounded an odd length of time for deployment, but Russia? Is he saying he's British Army or from elsewhere? Has he said what his job is and where he is normally based? So to worry you, but if he says he's British Army I'm a bit suspicious of his story.
Yes, Russia doesn't seem like a place where british troops would get stationed.
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, Russia doesn't seem like a place where british troops would get stationed.
There are 16 overseas bases and Russia is not one of yhem
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
His thing isn’t for deployment for fighting it’s for Exercises overseas but he’s not really telling me much
You don't do an 8-month exercise, exercises are just a few weeks, and certainly not in Russia! Training in winter conditions is done somewhere like Scandinavia or Canada. As others have asked, which base did you visit him at?
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Docxx
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Could you imagine if we started sending troops to Russia? Maybe WW3 has started and no-one told the rest of us?

If he told you Russia then he is lying, Red flag right there. There are several places he could be deploying too, none of them would require secrecy. Even special forces can inform their loved ones and spouses. Anywhere he is deploying too he would also be given R&R, which is usually a couple of weeks leave to return to the UK. Sometimes it's once, usually more. Depends on the type of operation.

You should question him more, if he continues to be evasive then there is a reason which has nothing to do with the Army.

Source: Ex-serviceman
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Sammylou40
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Please tell us which base you stayed at
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Surnia
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
It’s been a while but I was under the impression that single servicemen were not allowed overnight guests in barracks so where did you stay?
There's always work-arounds! Some guys have girls stop in their rooms and keep a low profile by not going for meals in the Mess, so no questions asked. They can sponsor them onto the base and no-one checks visitors passes unless there's any issues.
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Surnia)
There's always work-arounds! Some guys have girls stop in their rooms and keep a low profile by not going for meals in the Mess, so no questions asked. They can sponsor them onto the base and no-one checks visitors passes unless there's any issues.
When I had an raf bf years ago we used to stay with married friends. But the singleton rooms were strictly off limits.
My sons bestie is a military police officer and he has some marvellous tales of weekend exploits
Where there’s a will there’s a way.
But there’s just something I’m not believing about this story. And it’s not the boyfriend
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Docxx
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
When I had an raf bf years ago we used to stay with married friends. But the singleton rooms were strictly off limits.
My sons bestie is a military police officer and he has some marvellous tales of weekend exploits
Where there’s a will there’s a way.
But there’s just something I’m not believing about this story. And it’s not the boyfriend
I think it depends on the base standing orders, when I was living on camp as a singleton there were several places I could have a 'guest' over simply by signing them in, they could stay overnight too. Some places couldn't have visitors at all.

I used to get 'friends' on camp by getting them to flash a bank card, or their own driving license as ID. It was amazing how complacent the civvie guards were. Or maybe they just didn't care. Only got caught once.

I agree though, this post smells a bit fishy.
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Anonymous #3
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i think this looks like a troll
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Anonymous #4
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It would be a convenient way to break up with someone, err I'm going away for 7 months to...Russia! Bye!
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i think this looks like a troll
Called it. But what an odd thing to troll about
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
Called it. But what an odd thing to troll about
Think the persons been looking at too many WW3 memes
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
This is odd
It’s been a while but I was under the impression that single servicemen were not allowed overnight guests in barracks so where did you stay?
And the British army does not have troops stationed in Russia
Either you’re trolling or he’s spinning you a yarn
(Original post by Anonymous)
Think the persons been looking at too many WW3 memes
(Original post by Sammylou40)
Called it. But what
I’m not I’ve clearly been lied to? Thanks for all your opinions, I’m not trolling or anything it’s just what I’ve been told... I was just asking for an outsiders opinion on the situation
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