Oxbridge offer holder imposter syndrome Watch

rachel_jayne_x
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Hi!

I got an offer to study engineering at Jesus College Cambridge last week, but I can't seem to celebrate my offer because I feel like I've fluked it (luck, the college just wanting some female representation in a male dominated course). I have so many incredibly smart friends who didnt get offers and it makes me feel so undeserving, and almost like a fraud, like I'm taking someone elses place.

Its wrecked my motivation to study because I feel I'm not capable of hitting my offer grades, and its a waste of time to try.

Can someone else relate to this or give me some advice, because its ruined the excitement of finally acomplishing a dream ive had for years?

Thank you so much!
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princetonalec
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Imposter syndrome is a reasonably serious mental illness, so if you've consistently had problems with it seek psychiatric help.
Otherwise, you can celebrate for yourself and mourn for your friends. This is Cambridge darling, they don't make mistakes when they give out offers!
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rachel_jayne_x
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(Original post by princetonalec)
Imposter syndrome is a reasonably serious mental illness, so if you've consistently had problems with it seek psychiatric help.
Otherwise, you can celebrate for yourself and mourn for your friends. This is Cambridge darling, they don't make mistakes when they give out offers!
I don’t think it’s a serious case of imposter syndrome as I’ve never had thoughts like this before, but thank you!
Last edited by rachel_jayne_x; 1 month ago
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Treetop321
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(Original post by princetonalec)
Imposter syndrome is a reasonably serious mental illness, so if you've consistently had problems with it seek psychiatric help.
Otherwise, you can celebrate for yourself and mourn for your friends. This is Cambridge darling, they don't make mistakes when they give out offers!
They have made mistakes before with their offers and rejects... just saying...

OP- This isn't a mistake. They clearly want you for you, not to fill some target. Be happy and be proud.
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Anonymous #1
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You’d actually be surprised how often it happens that the kids everyone expects to get in don’t and those who are clever but perhaps don’t shine like you, do. Whether the tutors like your ambition and dedication to your work, find you particularly interesting, or see something in you that you don’t, they know what they’re doing. You definitely won’t be alone.

I understand your insecurities but come on man, getting an offer from Cambridge is delightful, don’t spoil it for yourself. Would you prefer if they took your offer back? Deep down inside you must have always thought yourself good enough, otherwise you wouldn’t have applied. So if you really can’t cope with having an offer, decline it and go somewhere else, if not, stop worrying and focus on getting those grades.
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JUG UK
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Hi, it is very normal for people to feel overwhelmed, an impostor or terror at receiving an oxbridge offer. You have gone through a very careful application process and have received an offer. They have met you and talked to you. They have seen what your school thinks of you. You probably sat a test or two whilst there. THEY WANT YOU.

Oxbridge is not about being bright and getting good grades - they are looking for certain types of people who will thrive in the special environment of oxbridge. Some people have high grades but wont fit in to the style of learning there but they believe you will.

some people panic about all the attention they get once they receive an offer and then panic about getting the grades. choose a sensible insurance university that you would be happy to go to and then keep working.

to reassure yourself - go back and read your school reports and talk to your teachers - especially if you have any who went there themselves. what you are feeling is totally normal - I used to be a teacher and if you did not feel a bit overwhelmed then I would be worried, you are reacting like 75% of people do, it is normal. A friend of mine interviews for a Cambridge College and he says the person is more important than the grades. Congratulations on your offer.
Last edited by JUG UK; 1 month ago
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rachel_jayne_x
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You’d actually be surprised how often it happens that the kids everyone expects to get in don’t and those who are clever but perhaps don’t shine like you, do. Whether the tutors like your ambition and dedication to your work, find you particularly interesting, or see something in you that you don’t, they know what they’re doing. You definitely won’t be alone.

I understand your insecurities but come on man, getting an offer from Cambridge is delightful, don’t spoil it for yourself. Would you prefer if they took your offer back? Deep down inside you must have always thought yourself good enough, otherwise you wouldn’t have applied. So if you really can’t cope with having an offer, decline it and go somewhere else, if not, stop worrying and focus on getting those grades.
thank you

(Original post by JUG UK)
Hi, it is very normal for people to feel overwhelmed, an impostor or terror at receiving an oxbridge offer. You have gone through a very careful application process and have received an offer. They have met you and talked to you. They have seen what your school thinks of you. You probably sat a test or two whilst there. THEY WANT YOU.

Oxbridge is not about being bright and getting good grades - they are looking for certain types of people who will thrive in the special environment of oxbridge. Some people have high grades but wont not fit in to the style of learning there but they believe you will.

some people panic about all the attention they get once they receive an offer and then panic about getting the grades. choose a sensible insurance university that you would be happy to go to and then keep working.

to reassure yourself - go back and read your school reports and talk to your teachers - especially if you have any who went there themselves. what you are feeling is totally normal - I used t be a teacher and if you did not feel a bit overwhelmed then I would be worried, you are reacting like 75% of people do, it is normal. Congratulations on your offer.
this is great advice and is really reasssuring, thank you
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mnot
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(Original post by rachel_jayne_x)
Hi!

I got an offer to study engineering at Jesus College Cambridge last week, but I can't seem to celebrate my offer because I feel like I've fluked it (luck, the college just wanting some female representation in a male dominated course). I have so many incredibly smart friends who didnt get offers and it makes me feel so undeserving, and almost like a fraud, like I'm taking someone elses place.

Its wrecked my motivation to study because I feel I'm not capable of hitting my offer grades, and its a waste of time to try.

Can someone else relate to this or give me some advice, because its ruined the excitement of finally acomplishing a dream ive had for years?

Thank you so much!
I felt like this after I got my PhD offer for a bit. I wasn't sure if I deserved the funding (when ive heard stories of well qualified candidates who missed out).

The reality is you've got the offer, you worked hard, YOU did the exams, YOU did the interview & its YOUR spot! Go smash your A-levels and enjoy being a member of one of the worlds best unis. You have the offer, Cambridge wouldn't have offered you the place if (after the extensive application process) they weren't confident you didn't deserve it.

You can only control what is in front of you, you must have performed well throughout the application process, you cant fluke an offer, yes very good candidates miss out but you performed your best and got the reward.

Sometimes its easier to comprehend this if you think its a fluke, but its not possible to fluke an offer, this is why they vet.
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rachel_jayne_x
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(Original post by mnot)
I felt like this after I got my PhD offer for a bit. I wasn't sure if I deserved the funding (when ive heard stories of well qualified candidates who missed out).

The reality is you've got the offer, you worked hard, YOU did the exams, YOU did the interview & its YOUR spot! Go smash your A-levels and enjoy being a member of one of the worlds best unis. You have the offer, Cambridge wouldn't have offered you the place if (after the extensive application process) they weren't confident you didn't deserve it.

You can only control what is in front of you, you must have performed well throughout the application process, you cant fluke an offer, yes very good candidates miss out but you performed your best and got the reward.

Sometimes its easier to comprehend this if you think its a fluke, but its not possible to fluke an offer, this is why they vet.
Time to go for the last hurdle i guess! Thank you for the advice
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