Work relationships, two people interested Watch

tightropez
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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Basically I’ve been seeing a guy from work. He’s a lot older than me. We’ve been seeing each other for almost 4 months. It’s been complicated and has had it’s ups and downs. Me and him work together in the same establishment but in different fields. I’m bar, he’s let’s say maintenance but really he’s a carpenter (confusing I know).

The past month or so though another guy from work has been showing some interest in me. He’s aware of my situation with the carpenter but this guy, let’s call him bar guy as he works on the bar with me, tonight, asked me on a date. I was flattered as he asked me in a very charming way and said if I could find cover, as I’m working that night, I would go.

For me my feelings are for the carpenter guy but he has made no effort in trying to take things to the next level and I know he’s been dating other people as well as me. Bar guy, I’m sexually attracted to, but don’t have that spark with, he’s intelligent, closer to my own age and very good looking, carpenter guy is older than me by quite the margine, equally as good looking and I feel that spark when I’m with him. Bar guy though also has said to me in multiple conversations that he isn’t interested in a relationship, he said this since I’ve been working where I work (6 months) and continues to say it even now. I myself am looking for something stable. A relationship is what I need right now as I’ve enjoyed being single but need some stability.

The problem is, I’ve been seeing carpenter guy for a while now and would expect a higher level of commitment at this point. Bar guy has asked me on a date and I’m fully in my rights to go but 1 I don’t want to complicate things at work and make any party, including myself feel awkward, and 2, i feel like me and him would just have great sex and that’d be it. I don’t want to ruin anything with carpenter guy either but then also I think he needs to realise I’m not waiting around forever.

I have never been in a situation like this before. I get a fair bit of male attention since I moved to the city a year and a half ago and my confidence is so much higher but my male experience is still very much naive.

Help me please hahah!
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Anonymous #1
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Report 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by tightropez)
Basically I’ve been seeing a guy from work. He’s a lot older than me. We’ve been seeing each other for almost 4 months. It’s been complicated and has had it’s ups and downs. Me and him work together in the same establishment but in different fields. I’m bar, he’s let’s say maintenance but really he’s a carpenter (confusing I know).

The past month or so though another guy from work has been showing some interest in me. He’s aware of my situation with the carpenter but this guy, let’s call him bar guy as he works on the bar with me, tonight, asked me on a date. I was flattered as he asked me in a very charming way and said if I could find cover, as I’m working that night, I would go.

For me my feelings are for the carpenter guy but he has made no effort in trying to take things to the next level and I know he’s been dating other people as well as me. Bar guy, I’m sexually attracted to, but don’t have that spark with, he’s intelligent, closer to my own age and very good looking, carpenter guy is older than me by quite the margine, equally as good looking and I feel that spark when I’m with him. Bar guy though also has said to me in multiple conversations that he isn’t interested in a relationship, he said this since I’ve been working where I work (6 months) and continues to say it even now. I myself am looking for something stable. A relationship is what I need right now as I’ve enjoyed being single but need some stability.

The problem is, I’ve been seeing carpenter guy for a while now and would expect a higher level of commitment at this point. Bar guy has asked me on a date and I’m fully in my rights to go but 1 I don’t want to complicate things at work and make any party, including myself feel awkward, and 2, i feel like me and him would just have great sex and that’d be it. I don’t want to ruin anything with carpenter guy either but then also I think he needs to realise I’m not waiting around forever.

I have never been in a situation like this before. I get a fair bit of male attention since I moved to the city a year and a half ago and my confidence is so much higher but my male experience is still very much naive.

Help me please hahah!
I have found great benefit in dating around without worry / commitment. You're deeply interested in Mr. Carpenter, that is GREAT and definitely a conversation is needed to be had between you two to get the commitment from him you are after. But I think until then there is no harm in going on one date with Mr. Bar, because in my experience a date doesn't have to develop romantic interest, but can actually develop friendships, companionships and believe me is EXTREMELY beneficial for your own self-esteem, confidence and self-awareness - you can learn A LOT about yourself on a date and I have made some super great friends who I went on a date with first.
Second and third dates are more conscious, deeper decisions / relationship developers, but one first date is just (hopefully) a fun night out.
And remember, even if he pays for everything, you don't owe him anything.
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