Would you be annoyed if an estranged aunt told you to 'let yourself be guided'? Watch

AHardDaysNight
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would this annoy you? she tells me to accept help and let myself be guided.
it's difficult to give the whole picture on here, but for a bit of context I haven't spoken to her in eleven years, and have only recently gone for a coffee with her at my mum's insistence that she wants us to repair the relationship. I agreed mainly for her sake and because I wanted to know my aunt's daughter, my cousin, and be on speaking terms with her.
My mum is unwell and my aunt helps her a lot, but I worry about her being controlling and manipulative. Until recently she wasn't in speaking terms with anyone in my family.
The meeting did not go well. I have not been well in myself for a long time now but I get irritated at her persistence in trying to get involved in my life and trying to 'help' me. She positions herself as this great messiah who everyone has to follow, or at least that's what it seems like to me. She doesn't know me at all. And I already have a mother who tells me what to eat, what to wear and how to live my life.
also i'm 27, not a child anymore.
Last edited by AHardDaysNight; 4 weeks ago
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fanofeverything
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Usually when someone tells someone to be guided by their intuition, it’s a way of telling them they’re looking out for them.
However, in this instance it may or may not be the case.
And, the irony is - you should probably take her advice. Because, only you will know what the right decision based on how you feel as well as everyone else.

Does it feel right to let her go?
Does it feel wrong

However, it’s important to not confuse guilt with a gut feeling. Sometimes, guilt does come along - but not always. You will just know. You’ll probably feel sick and if something is right it won’t always make sense...if that makes sense?

So, no. I wouldn’t be annoyed. Especially, since the fact that she is looking after your mother.. which is probably another reason as to why she’s told you to be guided by your intuition. It could alsooo be an indication meaning “have faith” but idk 🤷🏽*♀️

interpret that as you will 😊
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by fanofeverything)
Usually when someone tells someone to be guided by their intuition, it’s a way of telling them they’re looking out for them.
However, in this instance it may or may not be the case.
And, the irony is - you should probably take her advice. Because, only you will know what the right decision based on how you feel as well as everyone else.

Does it feel right to let her go?
Does it feel wrong

However, it’s important to not confuse guilt with a gut feeling. Sometimes, guilt does come along - but not always. You will just know. You’ll probably feel sick and if something is right it won’t always make sense...if that makes sense?

So, no. I wouldn’t be annoyed. Especially, since the fact that she is looking after your mother.. which is probably another reason as to why she’s told you to be guided by your intuition. It could alsooo be an indication meaning “have faith” but idk 🤷🏽*♀️

interpret that as you will 😊
She doesn't mean let myself be guided by my intuition. She wants me to be guided by her. :facepalm:
My intuition is to never speak to her again. You don't know the full picture, when I was only a teenager she sent me a torrent of verbal abuse via email for taking pictures of her daughter (actually she took pictures of both of us), for my mom who she wasn't speaking to then.
Last edited by AHardDaysNight; 4 weeks ago
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londonmyst
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Yes, I'd be very annoyed.
At times like this I thank my lucky stars that I only have three surviving biological relatives to avoid like the plague.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
would this annoy you? she tells me to accept help and let myself be guided.
it's difficult to give the whole picture on here, but for a bit of context I haven't spoken to her in eleven years, and have only recently gone for a coffee with her at my mum's insistence that she wants us to repair the relationship. I agreed mainly for her sake and because I wanted to know my aunt's daughter, my cousin, and be on speaking terms with her.
My mum is unwell and my aunt helps her a lot, but I worry about her being controlling and manipulative. Until recently she wasn't in speaking terms with anyone in my family.
The meeting did not go well. I have not been well in myself for a long time now but I get irritated at her persistence in trying to get involved in my life and trying to 'help' me. She positions herself as this great messiah who everyone has to follow, or at least that's what it seems like to me. She doesn't know me at all. And I already have a mother who tells me what to eat, what to wear and how to live my life.
also i'm 27, not a child anymore.
That all felt a bit skewed and obscure. Youve really not explained or put the phrase into context, so its hard to judge what she means and whether her opinion has any merit. If you dont want anything to do with her then you are ld enough to say no thank you. Perhaps she could help[ and perhaps she is in no position to, but its still your prerogative .
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
That all felt a bit skewed and obscure. Youve really not explained or put the phrase into context, so its hard to judge what she means and whether her opinion has any merit. If you dont want anything to do with her then you are ld enough to say no thank you. Perhaps she could help[ and perhaps she is in no position to, but its still your prerogative .
What's unclear? Ask me something and I'll try to answer. Bit difficult to give my whole life story on here.
Its just something she keeps repeating to me in conversation and email. She knows I've not had the easiest time and thinks she can solve all my problems.
But to say that, doesn't it sound a bit patronising to you?
She is thoroughly messed up herself and has a skewed perspective of reality. I wouldn't want to follow her example.
Last edited by AHardDaysNight; 4 weeks ago
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by londonmyst)
Yes, I'd be very annoyed.
At times like this I thank my lucky stars that I only have three surviving biological relatives to avoid like the plague.
Haha lucky you.
My family is Spanish mainly, I feel like they're a lot more open in giving their opinions and criticisms of others.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
What's unclear? Ask me something and I'll try to answer. Bit difficult to give my whole life story on here.
Its just something she keeps repeating to me in conversation and email. She knows I've not had the easiest time and thinks she can solve all my problems.
But to say that, doesn't it sound a bit patronising to you?
She is thoroughly messed up herself and has a skewed perspective of reality. I wouldn't want to follow her example.
I dont know the person involved.
If you dont want her advice then just be thanks but no thanks and leave it at that. No need to waste energy.
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I dont know the person involved.
If you dont want her advice then just be thanks but no thanks and leave it at that. No need to waste energy.
I already did but she was very hurt. Its not as simple as that when she's involved in my mums care and she keeps telling me how grateful she is to her, it's almost unavoidable that I will have to see her again at some point.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
I already did but she was very hurt. Its not as simple as that when she's involved in my mums care and she keeps telling me how grateful she is to her, it's almost unavoidable that I will have to see her again at some point.
Then you cna either be firm and say thanks but I prefer to do things my way or just ignore.
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Then you cna either be firm and say thanks but I prefer to do things my way or just ignore.
I just want to be civil without having to get into these conversations but she makes it impossible.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
I just want to be civil without having to get into these conversations but she makes it impossible.
You can ignore.
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
You can ignore.
Sure, as long as I don't see her.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
Sure, as long as I don't see her.
There you go, problem solved.
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
There you go, problem solved.
:facepalm:
you just don't get it. Never mind.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
:facepalm:
you just don't get it. Never mind.
You are determined to be annoyed and offended, which is fine. Enjoy the turmoil.
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
You are determined to be annoyed and offended, which is fine. Enjoy the turmoil.
If you can't say anything helpful then maybe don't post at all. I see you in almost every thread.
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999tigger
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(Original post by AHardDaysNight)
If you can't say anything helpful then maybe don't post at all. I see you in almost every thread.
I have given my opinion, just not the one you wanted.
If you stand up for yourself then you have to stick with the consequences as well. She might not like it, but that comes with the territory. You cant have it both ways.
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AHardDaysNight
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(Original post by 999tigger)
I have given my opinion, just not the one you wanted.
If you stand up for yourself then you have to stick with the consequences as well. She might not like it, but that comes with the territory. You cant have it both ways.
And again. Always have to have the last word, don't you?
Just stop.
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AHardDaysNight
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