How to stop being bothered by someone you hate? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#1
I hold so much grudge against my father. Everything he does annoy me to no end. He was terrible to me when I was a kid and I still have flashbacks about it until now. Even though he’s not that bad anymore, he’s still generally a ****. I have so much anger inside me that I have the urge to self harm again. I just want to scream and go full psycho and kill him and I’m not even kidding.
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Charlie1o5
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I hold so much grudge against my father. Everything he does annoy me to no end. He was terrible to me when I was a kid and I still have flashbacks about it until now. Even though he’s not that bad anymore, he’s still generally a ****. I have so much anger inside me that I have the urge to self harm again. I just want to scream and go full psycho and kill him and I’m not even kidding.
I can relate to this, I was lucky when my parents split, I didn't speak to my father as much as possible. I am a very forgiving person, I hate holding grudges because of how it affects you but, I cannot seem to forgive him. So, if you can't do that, look at other things around you that you can be positive and grateful for. When you catch your thoughts spiraling about him, tell yourself to stop, take a deep breath and try and distrct yourself (really hard, not saying this is an easy fix or will make you 100% happy but it's a start), it's something you have to really help yourself with, practice gratitude, bury your main negative things with a bunch of positives, try and see as many as you can.
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mgi
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(Original post by Charlie1o5)
I can relate to this, I was lucky when my parents split, I didn't speak to my father as much as possible. I am a very forgiving person, I hate holding grudges because of how it affects you but, I cannot seem to forgive him. So, if you can't do that, look at other things around you that you can be positive and grateful for. When you catch your thoughts spiraling about him, tell yourself to stop, take a deep breath and try and distrct yourself (really hard, not saying this is an easy fix or will make you 100% happy but it's a start), it's something you have to really help yourself with, practice gratitude, bury your main negative things with a bunch of positives, try and see as many as you can.
I have come across so many people with similar attitudes towards their dysfunctional parents! What needs to be understood better is the fact that the complainer needs to go for counselling in order to come to terms with the previous abuse! Failing to do so will definitely mean being locked into damaging ,life limiting,unresolved anger issues towards oneself! And that is utterly pointless!
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mgi
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I hold so much grudge against my father. Everything he does annoy me to no end. He was terrible to me when I was a kid and I still have flashbacks about it until now. Even though he’s not that bad anymore, he’s still generally a ****. I have so much anger inside me that I have the urge to self harm again. I just want to scream and go full psycho and kill him and I’m not even kidding.
Ok. But let's be real! That's your problem! You have 2 actual choices: Spend your life moaning, insecure and angry or going for counselling in order to come to terms with your deep bitterness which clearly has got a major grip on you! And here is another profound thought: You becoming happy as an adult is now ENTIRELY your responsibility and not your parents' regardless of how awful they are or were! Think about that!
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Charlie1o5
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#5
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I have to disagree, I tried different counsellors and the rest of it, doctors, friends, teachers, it isn't always the answer. it doesn't definatly mean anything, my childhood was horrible due to my father, haven't been able to emotionally forgive him, but currently I am doing really well in life, no longer suffer from mental illness and I'm the happiest I have ever been, I focus on the good. counselling might be worth a try, but it isn't the only or guaranteed solution.
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londonmyst
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#6
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#6
Focus on building a happy future for yourself.
Leave your father and the worst of your childhood in the past, far behind you.
Don't worry about your father getting away with all those vicious deeds- karma never forgets anyone.
All karmic overdrafts get repaid in full.

It's your future life that matters now.
You can't change the past, only learn from it and perhaps use that knowledge to help others.
Let go of the anger so that it cannot blind you, grow into an obsession or leave you flooded with negative emotion.
It can be difficult to do alone but is far from impossible, I've never had counselling.

Life is too short to waste time on rage, hate or bitterness.
You need hope, joy, happiness, beauty and an appreciation of all that is positive in the world- to enjoy life.
Fury, misery or vitriol will just suck you in to a black hole of negativity- wasting precious time that you will never get back.
Good luck!
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Allie4
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#7
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#7
Don't let the past and all the sh itty people in it define you. Thats why you can't let go of your grudge because you're still unhappy and think that if you killed or beat the man who ruined everything for you, it will make your life better. It won't, whether hes dead or alive the only way to overcome this is to work on yourself and find ways to make yourself happy. Think of the positive future you want to have and work towards that. What do you want/see - a career, marriage, kids, lots of money, lots of friends, travel?? The only way to move forward is to do that - actually move forward.

and try EMDR, never tried it myself but apparently its a great type of therapy that helps you overcome past traumas. Look into it. And keep your chin up
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MiaNova
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#8
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#8
(Original post by londonmyst)
Focus on building a happy future for yourself.
Leave your father and the worst of your childhood in the past, far behind you.
Don't worry about your father getting away with all those vicious deeds- karma never forgets anyone.
All karmic overdrafts get repaid in full.

It's your future life that matters now.
You can't change the past, only learn from it and perhaps use that knowledge to help others.
Let go of the anger so that it cannot blind you, grow into an obsession or leave you flooded with negative emotion.
It can be difficult to do alone but is far from impossible, I've never had counselling.

Life is too short to waste time on rage, hate or bitterness.
You need hope, joy, happiness, beauty and an appreciation of all that is positive in the world- to enjoy life.
Fury, misery or vitriol will just suck you in to a black hole of negativity- wasting precious time that you will never get back.
Good luck!
This! ^
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mgi
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Charlie1o5)
I have to disagree, I tried different counsellors and the rest of it, doctors, friends, teachers, it isn't always the answer. it doesn't definatly mean anything, my childhood was horrible due to my father, haven't been able to emotionally forgive him, but currently I am doing really well in life, no longer suffer from mental illness and I'm the happiest I have ever been, I focus on the good. counselling might be worth a try, but it isn't the only or guaranteed solution.
great post. glad you are in a happy place. To me, that is the primary purpose og life! counselling is good but it requires the client to really desire to cooperate with it to change their life otherwise it will not be a solution.
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Anonymous #2
#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
I hold so much grudge against my father. Everything he does annoy me to no end. He was terrible to me when I was a kid and I still have flashbacks about it until now. Even though he’s not that bad anymore, he’s still generally a ****. I have so much anger inside me that I have the urge to self harm again. I just want to scream and go full psycho and kill him and I’m not even kidding.
Talk to him in a calm sensible manner and tell him you feel for so long, tell him he doesn’t have to answer but just hear you and think about how he has treated you and then come back with his reply when he is ready and in a sensible mood to say. If you go shouting at him out of anger it won’t help anything and you both will be is the same position as you were before or maybe worse. If he doesn’t then I guess he ain’t worth knowing and that will take time to get over. Just try and be the bigger person in the situation if it comes to the worse.

Sorry if I didn’t make any sense it’s 3am 😣
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MoonlightRain
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#11
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I wish I could give advice. I have a burning hatred for this TSR user and I thought about them today making me pissed off. I distracted myself by listening to some music
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mgi
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#12
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#12
(Original post by IH8Studying)
I wish I could give advice. I have a burning hatred for this TSR user and I thought about them today making me pissed off. I distracted myself by listening to some music
lol. Sarcasm i assume?
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MoonlightRain
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#13
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#13
(Original post by mgi)
lol. Sarcasm i assume?
why would that be sarcasm
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emily_000
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I hold so much grudge against my father. Everything he does annoy me to no end. He was terrible to me when I was a kid and I still have flashbacks about it until now. Even though he’s not that bad anymore, he’s still generally a ****. I have so much anger inside me that I have the urge to self harm again. I just want to scream and go full psycho and kill him and I’m not even kidding.
if you want to kill him then you need help. Go to a psychiatric ward!
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mgi
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#15
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(Original post by IH8Studying)
why would that be sarcasm
you said a "burning hatred" and i thought how come? do you even know the person?
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MoonlightRain
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#16
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#16
(Original post by mgi)
you said a "burning hatred" and i thought how come? do you even know the person?
I don’t know them irl but you can still hate someone over the internet. That person is evil and fake. And whenever I see them on TSR, my blood boils. That person thinks pedophilia and racism is okay. And they’re really rude behind my back. And I can’t even put them on my ignore list cause they’re like on the support team or something.
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Sammylou40
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#17
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#17
(Original post by IH8Studying)
I don’t know them irl but you can still hate someone over the internet. That person is evil and fake. And whenever I see them on TSR, my blood boils. That person thinks pedophilia and racism is okay. And they’re really rude behind my back. And I can’t even put them on my ignore list cause they’re like on the support team or something.
Have you complained? If it’s inappropriate surely they have to do something x
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MoonlightRain
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Sammylou40)
Have you complained? If it’s inappropriate surely they have to do something x
No cause she spoke it about me to another user privately and she’s someone who surprisingly everyone likes so doubt the mods will do anything. She hasn’t said anything to me, just about me.
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Anonymous #2
#19
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#19
(Original post by emily_000)
if you want to kill him then you need help. Go to a psychiatric ward!
They are obviously really angry at their dad, I bet we all have had a thought once where we felt like wanted to hurt someone really bad or even kill them out of extreme anger. There is difference between thinking it and doing it.
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emily_000
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#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
They are obviously really angry at their dad, I bet we all have had a thought once where we felt like wanted to hurt someone really bad or even kill them out of extreme anger. There is difference between thinking it and doing it.
nope. I never had such thoughts. And how do you know that he is not going to do it?!
Last edited by emily_000; 3 weeks ago
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