Im feeling very low over something irrational and not sure how to control it Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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I feel very low/distressed over something which most people wouldn’t. I think although im very laid back i get very emotionally attached to people even though they dont know it/I hide it well. Basically Ive found out that 2 of my collegues are leaving, one of them (the manager) Im not too fussed about but a male colleague revealed that he is leaving today. I secretly have feelings for him he has been very supportive over the years, where a lot of people are impatient with me he seemed to know how i think and was always looking out for me. He has a partner and a kid so obviously its a no go but I was still happy just working alongside him/having his company at work. I dont show this, he sees me as aloof and says that i dont ask for enough help. This might sound weird im not sure but im just being honest. The last guy i had a crush on several years ago took me years to get over.

When he told me I acted like i didnt care much but I feel a bit shaky/like im suffocating/a bit panicky and can’t stand what im feeling. I know I sound weird but I can’t help it. Im telling myself that its probably for the best that he leaves, that I need to go out and form new relationships with people/meet someone. But still the feeling is there. Im not young anymore either. I can’t tell anyone really ive not many friends so I guess just wanted to offload.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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still the same now Im sick of being the way I am.
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yzanne
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I don't think this is irrational - everyone has crushes now and again, some are attainable and some aren't, and you're just upset he's leaving. Try not to upset yourself or read too deeply into this - why don't you ask for his number or email so you can keep in touch from him from time to time if you're worried you're never going to see him again?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by yzanne)
I don't think this is irrational - everyone has crushes now and again, some are attainable and some aren't, and you're just upset he's leaving. Try not to upset yourself or read too deeply into this - why don't you ask for his number or email so you can keep in touch from him from time to time if you're worried you're never going to see him again?
Thanks. I dont think I should be feeling as bad as this though as he is only a colleague yet it feels like the end of the world, like ive been crying today (i dont normally) but I had to get the ‘depressed' feelings out and its ridiculous really. Ive no appetite lol. I have his number/whatsapp the thing is he is in a relationship/with a kid so we cant just meet up on our own/he wouldn't do this anyway. We are not even that close to be honest lol any engagement is work related, sometimes we’l have conversations about each others hobbies etc. I think I just feel some sort of strong attachment because he has been very supportive more so than anyone else has with me, ive struggled in the past etc so I see this much support as an unusual thing.
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yzanne
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks. I dont think I should be feeling as bad as this though as he is only a colleague yet it feels like the end of the world, like ive been crying today (i dont normally) but I had to get the ‘depressed' feelings out and its ridiculous really. Ive no appetite lol. I have his number/whatsapp the thing is he is in a relationship/with a kid so we cant just meet up on our own/he wouldn't do this anyway. We are not even that close to be honest lol any engagement is work related, sometimes we’l have conversations about each others hobbies etc. I think I just feel some sort of strong attachment because he has been very supportive more so than anyone else has with me, ive struggled in the past etc so I see this much support as an unusual thing.
Well, why don't you tell him how you feel? Just because he has a child and a partner doesn't mean he's banned from speaking to anyone of the opposite sex. Just tell him you appreciate everything he's done to support you and that you wish him well for the future, and if he ever wants to meet up to talk about work or anything, that would be cool
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by yzanne)
Well, why don't you tell him how you feel? Just because he has a child and a partner doesn't mean he's banned from speaking to anyone of the opposite sex. Just tell him you appreciate everything he's done to support you and that you wish him well for the future, and if he ever wants to meet up to talk about work or anything, that would be cool

I will thank him for all he has done, though im not great with words/articulate. I doubt he will meet up again expecially 1-1 with me. I’l tell him that i might see him around at a sports event (we both like going to) but it probably wont happen.
I realise that im sounding very dramatic but its how i feel.

Im usually quite apathetic about things but its because its him in particular. He said that he definately wont be working here in 2 months so ive got to put up with the next few weeks of working with him. I guess Id rather him just go, if that makes sense.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 3 weeks ago
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At the end of the day he has a family and you don't want to be the person who will meddle with that. I think you should cut contact with him so you can heal from it without him and hopefully you will find someone else you are attracted to in the future.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
At the end of the day he has a family and you don't want to be the person who will meddle with that. I think you should cut contact with him so you can heal from it without him and hopefully you will find someone else you are attracted to in the future.
I wouldn’t attempt anything like that and he wouldn’t either he is devoted to his family. I just enjoy working with him as a collegue that was enough for me.
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