first date, he didn't offer to pay Watch

Anonymous #1
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now before i get loads of people commenting that it's 2020 and men shouldn't have to pay for dates anymore i just wanna say that i know and i'm more than happy to pay my half, i just think it's nice if he offers

so i went on a first date with a guy i met on tinder. we've been speaking a few weeks now and he's quite sweet, goes to the same uni as me. he asked me if i wanted to meet up for lunch and so we did. he also picked the location. when it came to paying i got my purse out as i usually do and he didn't say anything and just let me pay for my food. i was quite surprised as my past dates have always stopped me and offered to pay, in which i always offer to go halves but they usually insist on paying.

what does him not offering to pay mean? i thought maybe he wasn't interested in me but he messaged me when i got home saying he wants a second date. i'm just a bit confused really
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black tea
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He is not entitled to pay for you, we live in an equal society. I would be offended if a guy insisted on paying.
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1st superstar
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(Original post by black tea)
He is not entitled to pay for you, we live in an equal society. I would be offended if a guy insisted on paying.
agreed however if you read the OP's post you'll see that that it was the MAN who had asked them out (not the OP) so they should have paid their half of the bill (same if let's say the woman asks the man out then the woman should offer to pay for their half of the bill)... but yeah
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MiaNova
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(Original post by Anonymous)
he asked me if i wanted to meet up for lunch and so we did. he also picked the location.
He asked you out.
He picked the location.
He didn't offer to pay?

In my personal opinion there's 2 things that are okay:

- if the person who asks you out, pays on the first date = ✔️ you can pay on next date.
- if you both go 50/50 ✔️


Edit:
It seems that OP only paid for her half (each paid 50/50). There's no issue there
OP shouldn't expect her date to pay for her.
Last edited by MiaNova; 3 weeks ago
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MiaNova
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(Original post by 1st superstar)
agreed however if you read the OP's post you'll see that that it was the MAN who had asked them out (not the OP) so they should have paid their half of the bill (same if let's say the woman asks the man out then the woman should offer to pay for their half of the bill)... but yeah
^This
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Deggs_14
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Did you pay for 100% of the meal, or did you pay for what you ordered and he paid for what he ordered?
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(Original post by Deggs_14)
Did you pay for 100% of the meal, or did you pay for what you ordered and he paid for what he ordered?
seems to me that they paid for 100% of the bill
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biisii
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He invited you, he should have paid...
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
now before i get loads of people commenting that it's 2020 and men shouldn't have to pay for dates anymore i just wanna say that i know and i'm more than happy to pay my half, i just think it's nice if he offers

so i went on a first date with a guy i met on tinder. we've been speaking a few weeks now and he's quite sweet, goes to the same uni as me. he asked me if i wanted to meet up for lunch and so we did. he also picked the location. when it came to paying i got my purse out as i usually do and he didn't say anything and just let me pay for my food. i was quite surprised as my past dates have always stopped me and offered to pay, in which i always offer to go halves but they usually insist on paying.

what does him not offering to pay mean? i thought maybe he wasn't interested in me but he messaged me when i got home saying he wants a second date. i'm just a bit confused really
Him not offering to pay doesn't mean anything. Maybe he doesn't have enough money himself to be able to afford to pay for 2 meals. Just because on your past dates the men have all paid, that doesn't automatically mean that if your next date doesn't, it should be strange in any way. Why didn't you offer to pay for his food? This whole "men should pay for the food" is bulls**t.
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(Original post by Anonymous)
now before i get loads of people commenting that it's 2020 and men shouldn't have to pay for dates anymore i just wanna say that i know and i'm more than happy to pay my half, i just think it's nice if he offers

so i went on a first date with a guy i met on tinder. we've been speaking a few weeks now and he's quite sweet, goes to the same uni as me. he asked me if i wanted to meet up for lunch and so we did. he also picked the location. when it came to paying i got my purse out as i usually do and he didn't say anything and just let me pay for my food. i was quite surprised as my past dates have always stopped me and offered to pay, in which i always offer to go halves but they usually insist on paying.

what does him not offering to pay mean? i thought maybe he wasn't interested in me but he messaged me when i got home saying he wants a second date. i'm just a bit confused really
wait did you pay for 100% of the food or just your food? if it's just your food then yeah I see no problem with the fact he let you pay for it I guess? but even then...
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Deggs_14
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(Original post by 1st superstar)
seems to me that they paid for 100% of the bill
Oh that’s not fair then. If I went on a date I would pay for what I ordered and vice versa. Therefore one person isn’t extorted into paying more if someone orders more expensive food etc
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londonmyst
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Normal rule is the asker pays or offers to pay.
He never bothered doing either and sounds like a skinflint student.

But still you got off easy paying for your own food and drink.
My worst date the guy forgot his wallet, remembered to bring his mother and I got lumbered paying for everyone. :doh:
He even asked me to lend him some extra cash- after I'd paid the bill for him & myself, his mother's drinks and the staff tip.
Then asked me out again because his mother liked me. :bawling:
Last blind-date I will ever go on.
Last edited by londonmyst; 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Deggs_14)
Oh that’s not fair then. If I went on a date I would pay for what I ordered and vice versa. Therefore one person isn’t extorted into paying more if someone orders more expensive food etc
but maybe I seem to be a misunderstanding as it says: "when it came to paying I got my purse out as I usually do and he didn't say anything and just let me pay for my food." meaning the OP only paid for their meal? (if that's the case then I think that they should pay?)
Last edited by shadowdweller; 3 weeks ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Him not offering to pay doesn't mean anything. Maybe he doesn't have enough money himself to be able to afford to pay for 2 meals. Just because on your past dates the men have all paid, that doesn't automatically mean that if your next date doesn't, it should be strange in any way. Why didn't you offer to pay for his food? This whole "men should pay for the food" is bulls**t.
agreed
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MrMusician95
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Did you pay for lunch for both of you or just for yourself? If you just paid for yourself then it doesn't mean anything. I've always had a rule about not paying for an entire first day, especially as a student when you're usually short on money n
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(Original post by black tea)
He is not entitled to pay for you, we live in an equal society. I would be offended if a guy insisted on paying.
but edit now I kinda agree with you looks like the OP only paid for their half of the bill which in that case the boy was right
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Ibbx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
now before i get loads of people commenting that it's 2020 and men shouldn't have to pay for dates anymore i just wanna say that i know and i'm more than happy to pay my half, i just think it's nice if he offers

so i went on a first date with a guy i met on tinder. we've been speaking a few weeks now and he's quite sweet, goes to the same uni as me. he asked me if i wanted to meet up for lunch and so we did. he also picked the location. when it came to paying i got my purse out as i usually do and he didn't say anything and just let me pay for my food. i was quite surprised as my past dates have always stopped me and offered to pay, in which i always offer to go halves but they usually insist on paying.

what does him not offering to pay mean? i thought maybe he wasn't interested in me but he messaged me when i got home saying he wants a second date. i'm just a bit confused really
You’re the one who got your purse out to pay so don’t know why you're shocked that you had to pay
Last edited by Ibbx; 3 weeks ago
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MrMusician95
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(Original post by 1st superstar)
but edit now I kinda agree with you looks like the OP only paid for their half of the bill which in that case the boy was right
PRSOM
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(Original post by Ibbx)
You’re the one who got your purse out to pay don’t know why you're shocked if you had to pay
but it kinda depends on whether she paid for her own meal or both (if she paid for both then it's unfair). Read mine and MiaNova's posts above explaining why
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(Original post by MrMusician95)
PRSOM
ok
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