stuck on what to do for 2nd year uni housing

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tijt21
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I live quite close to my university; about an hour by train with 3 changes.
I currently am in my first year living on campus - I really enjoy living on campus, however, it is quite expensive.

Recently, a group of 4 of us have been looking for houses nearby the uni for 2nd year. However, I don't feel 100% about living with them. I've only met one of the girls once and another is being weird with me.

To get to know everyone better, I suggested going out for lunch after a house viewing this week. I was left on read by all except the one girl I am closest with. I don't want to live with flatmates that make me feel uncomfortable or belittle/ignore what I have to say.

I don't want to commute. I would love to live on campus again but it's expensive and I am not guaranteed a space this year. The best option seems to be to move in with these girls, but they have made me feel pretty crap this week and have ignored me. I don't feel as though I am part of the group and I don't know what to do. It is making me feel very anxious.

any thoughts or help would be appreciated.
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by tijt21)
I live quite close to my university; about an hour by train with 3 changes.
I currently am in my first year living on campus - I really enjoy living on campus, however, it is quite expensive.

Recently, a group of 4 of us have been looking for houses nearby the uni for 2nd year. However, I don't feel 100% about living with them. I've only met one of the girls once and another is being weird with me.

To get to know everyone better, I suggested going out for lunch after a house viewing this week. I was left on read by all except the one girl I am closest with. I don't want to live with flatmates that make me feel uncomfortable or belittle/ignore what I have to say.

I don't want to commute. I would love to live on campus again but it's expensive and I am not guaranteed a space this year. The best option seems to be to move in with these girls, but they have made me feel pretty crap this week and have ignored me. I don't feel as though I am part of the group and I don't know what to do. It is making me feel very anxious.

any thoughts or help would be appreciated.
Do you have any other people you can potentially live with?

With regards to the group you have been searching for, do you think things will improve the longer you get to know each other? It sounds like the other girls and you don't really know each other that well yet.
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Anonymous #1
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Don’t do it. You’ll be stuck with them all year, and you’ll be miserable. Find some other people you can share with.
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tijt21
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
Do you have any other people you can potentially live with?

With regards to the group you have been searching for, do you think things will improve the longer you get to know each other? It sounds like the other girls and you don't really know each other that well yet.
Not at the moment no. I have other friends on campus, but not a group. Just individual people and i dont know their plans for next year yet.

I think there's a good chance things will improve. I don't know the girls that well and have only met them once or twice, but they all have known each other longer. I've felt a bit excluded from the group and when I have tried to make plans or suggested things in the chat it is often ignored or overlooked.
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tijt21
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Don’t do it. You’ll be stuck with them all year, and you’ll be miserable. Find some other people you can share with.
Yeah I think that might be a good idea. Because they've not been very welcoming or listened to me. I think first impressions do count and im not sure i'd enjoy living with them, despite the convenience.
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by tijt21)
Not at the moment no. I have other friends on campus, but not a group. Just individual people and i dont know their plans for next year yet.

I think there's a good chance things will improve. I don't know the girls that well and have only met them once or twice, but they all have known each other longer. I've felt a bit excluded from the group and when I have tried to make plans or suggested things in the chat it is often ignored or overlooked.
If you have other friends you could consider talking about what their plans for 2nd year are - it might be that they are looking for another housemate.

My 2nd year housemates I found through some people I met through a society. There were three other girls I didn't really know that well, but with time, we became good friends, so it isn't impossible. However, think about what your instincts are telling you - if you feel that living together will be uncomfortable, look to other plans.
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tijt21
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
If you have other friends you could consider talking about what their plans for 2nd year are - it might be that they are looking for another housemate.

My 2nd year housemates I found through some people I met through a society. There were three other girls I didn't really know that well, but with time, we became good friends, so it isn't impossible. However, think about what your instincts are telling you - if you feel that living together will be uncomfortable, look to other plans.
I've just messaged one of them, thank you! I don't really have a good gut feeling about living with them at the moment, so i'm going to look to other options as well. When did you start looking for houses?
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cheesecakelove
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(Original post by tijt21)
I've just messaged one of them, thank you! I don't really have a good gut feeling about living with them at the moment, so i'm going to look to other options as well. When did you start looking for houses?
I was at university many years ago, but the people I met through the society asked me in January in first year. After that, we grew closer as friends. Usually, January is a good time to start thinking about 2nd year plans - it gives you enough time to find good people to live with and time to find somewhere you all like (the nicer places get snapped up quicker!)
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tijt21
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(Original post by cheesecakelove)
I was at university many years ago, but the people I met through the society asked me in January in first year. After that, we grew closer as friends. Usually, January is a good time to start thinking about 2nd year plans - it gives you enough time to find good people to live with and time to find somewhere you all like (the nicer places get snapped up quicker!)
So you didn't know them well when you put down the deposit, but you grew closer afterwards? Thank you.
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cheesecakelove
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I knew two girls better than the rest of the group, but after we decided to start house hunting, we started to hang out more as a group, and these were the people I lived with in third year and are still friends to this day!
(Original post by tijt21)
So you didn't know them well when you put down the deposit, but you grew closer afterwards? Thank you.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by tijt21)
I live quite close to my university; about an hour by train with 3 changes.
I currently am in my first year living on campus - I really enjoy living on campus, however, it is quite expensive.

Recently, a group of 4 of us have been looking for houses nearby the uni for 2nd year. However, I don't feel 100% about living with them. I've only met one of the girls once and another is being weird with me.

To get to know everyone better, I suggested going out for lunch after a house viewing this week. I was left on read by all except the one girl I am closest with. I don't want to live with flatmates that make me feel uncomfortable or belittle/ignore what I have to say.

I don't want to commute. I would love to live on campus again but it's expensive and I am not guaranteed a space this year. The best option seems to be to move in with these girls, but they have made me feel pretty crap this week and have ignored me. I don't feel as though I am part of the group and I don't know what to do. It is making me feel very anxious.

any thoughts or help would be appreciated.
I would say trust your gut- sometimes first impressions are right. If you’re already having a bad feeling, try and find some accommodation with other friends. There’s no point going ahead with that big commitment if they’re already making you feel excluded and ignored
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