Lost the ability to make friends Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
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Stopped talking in class and generally being fun, which made me popular, to focus on my studies. I now don't really have friends and don't feel like I relate to people my age. Is there anything I can do?
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Anonymous #2
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Just start with one. One friend that you can laugh with and feel like you can actually breathe around and then start from there. Remember, friendships are two sided you have to make an effort too.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just start with one. One friend that you can laugh with and feel like you can actually breathe around and then start from there. Remember, friendships are two sided you have to make an effort too.
When I was popular I didn't have to put the effort in, people just came to me which makes it harder I think.
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Possibly this
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Well really, there's no reason why you can't make friends. It's not about switching entirely from messing about to entirely being straight laced and constantly working. There's no point in that. It's not sustainable and it's not that healthy either. So still be fun, still enjoy life and your friends but listen to what the teachers are saying in class, put your hand up every once in a while and sometimes you may have to say no to certain people in terms of going out. But there's no reason you can't have a good social life and still pay attention in class and have time to do what you need to get done.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Possibly this)
Well really, there's no reason why you can't make friends. It's not about switching entirely from messing about to entirely being straight laced and constantly working. There's no point in that. It's not sustainable and it's not that healthy either. So still be fun, still enjoy life and your friends but listen to what the teachers are saying in class, put your hand up every once in a while and sometimes you may have to say no to certain people in terms of going out. But there's no reason you can't have a good social life and still pay attention in class and have time to do what you need to get done.
I've been "straight-laced" as you call it for about 4 years now and literally don't know how to act how I used to.
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Possibly this
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've been "straight-laced" as you call it for about 4 years now and literally don't know how to act how I used to.
Ok, that is quite a long time. What level of study are you at?

The thing for you I think is about finding real friends. It's very easy to come by people when you're "popular" as there's often a degree of illusion to it. There is some degree of people talking to you because you're popular or so they're not isolated or just because you share friends. These are not real friends. They're people who hang in your vicinity because it suits them.

You need to find people who will take you as you are. That means putting yourself out there in a new group of people so people can get to know you. As if no one gets to know you, no one will have the opportunity to become your actual friend. If you have to change to acquire friends well then they're not your friends, simple as that.

So really you have to be willing for people to get to know who you were several years ago and who you are now and to accept you for that. You also have to be willing to get to know other people in return. So what I'm trying to say, is overall keep yourself open. Even just making a couple of new friendships can introduce you to many more people through their friendships and before you know it you're in multiple friendship groups, these things can change surprisingly quickly. But you have to be open to it and open to them.
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awkwardshortguy
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#7
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Same here. Haven't made a new friend in 6 years :laugh:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Possibly this)
Ok, that is quite a long time. What level of study are you at?

The thing for you I think is about finding real friends. It's very easy to come by people when you're "popular" as there's often a degree of illusion to it. There is some degree of people talking to you because you're popular or so they're not isolated or just because you share friends. These are not real friends. They're people who hang in your vicinity because it suits them.

You need to find people who will take you as you are. That means putting yourself out there in a new group of people so people can get to know you. As if no one gets to know you, no one will have the opportunity to become your actual friend. If you have to change to acquire friends well then they're not your friends, simple as that.

So really you have to be willing for people to get to know who you were several years ago and who you are now and to accept you for that. You also have to be willing to get to know other people in return. So what I'm trying to say, is overall keep yourself open. Even just making a couple of new friendships can introduce you to many more people through their friendships and before you know it you're in multiple friendship groups, these things can change surprisingly quickly. But you have to be open to it and open to them.
Thanks man, appreciate it. Also, I'm in year 13 rn.
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