Should I listen to my parents about University decisions? Watch

arishaarie
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When I started thinking about University, I did want to stay local so I could be close to my family. However, I realised the closest Uni that does my desired course is about 2 and a half hours away, so I wouldn’t realistically be able to stay at home. So I decided to think about Uni’s further away such as Leeds & Exeter. My Dad keeps giving me speeches telling me that whatever Uni I go to, the qualification will be the same and that I wouldn’t be alright so far away, he thinks I’ll drop out within 6 weeks and reminds me I have a boyfriend that I might lose if I move away. Should I listen to these opinions, or should I just go to the Uni I think I’d prefer? I hate not knowing I have the support to go where I want.
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DiddyDec
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If your parents don't support you then it is best to ignore them.
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ajj2000
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Which course and where are you?
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Sinnoh
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So many people move out far away for uni. Why does your dad think you won't cope for some reason?
Go to the uni you prefer.

Relationships do throw a bit of a spanner in the works but I know some who are still together (so far) despite being on opposite sides of the country.
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mnot
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(Original post by arishaarie)
When I started thinking about University, I did want to stay local so I could be close to my family. However, I realised the closest Uni that does my desired course is about 2 and a half hours away, so I wouldn’t realistically be able to stay at home. So I decided to think about Uni’s further away such as Leeds & Exeter. My Dad keeps giving me speeches telling me that whatever Uni I go to, the qualification will be the same and that I wouldn’t be alright so far away, he thinks I’ll drop out within 6 weeks and reminds me I have a boyfriend that I might lose if I move away. Should I listen to these opinions, or should I just go to the Uni I think I’d prefer? I hate not knowing I have the support to go where I want.
Its quite simple, every degree is not the same. That said some degrees are apples and apples in terms of career prospects, its hard to know without knowing the course & local uni...

Uni is great experience, go where you want to go, one of the BENEFITS of going further away is its easier to immerse yourself into uni once you arrive, too often freshers go home every 3 weeks and miss out absorbing themselves into the experience.
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arishaarie
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(Original post by ajj2000)
Which course and where are you?
Diagnostic Radiography and I’m in East Sussex
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arishaarie
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(Original post by Sinnoh)
So many people move out far away for uni. Why does your dad think you won't cope for some reason?
Go to the uni you prefer.

Relationships do throw a bit of a spanner in the works but I know some who are still together (so far) despite being on opposite sides of the country.
I’m honestly not sure, it’s exhausting though trying to do the right thing to please my family. I’m the first in my generation to go so maybe that’s something to do with it.
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arishaarie
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(Original post by mnot)
Its quite simple, every degree is not the same. That said some degrees are apples and apples in terms of career prospects, its hard to know without knowing the course & local uni...

Uni is great experience, go where you want to go, one of the BENEFITS of going further away is its easier to immerse yourself into uni once you arrive, too often freshers go home every 3 weeks and miss out absorbing themselves into the experience.
It’s radiography so parts of it will be the same, but like you said each degree is taught differently and I’d prefer to go somewhere where I enjoy the teaching and facilities compared to my local (which if Canterbury Christ Church and is still about 2 hours away). I’m just not sure if I should move to a far away Uni and risk not receiving much support from my family
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MrMusician95
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Definitely don't listen. A degree from a better university will help you more. I remember I'm uni a class mate of mine was not allowed to apply outside of London. She was forced to live at home too. She somehow thought none of this was wrong.
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ajj2000
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(Original post by arishaarie)
I’m honestly not sure, it’s exhausting though trying to do the right thing to please my family. I’m the first in my generation to go so maybe that’s something to do with it.
Ask your parents for their reasons. Are they concerned about finances for example? That’s could be a very legitimate concern.
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cherrybloss
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Honestly, if going to a faraway university would mean lack of financial support, then don't do it. Because you will tire yourself if you have to study and support yourself too.
But if you think finance won't be a trouble then go ahead and join your desired university
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PQ
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Your student loan will go a lot further in Leeds than it would in Canterbury:yes:
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swanseajack1
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(Original post by arishaarie)
When I started thinking about University, I did want to stay local so I could be close to my family. However, I realised the closest Uni that does my desired course is about 2 and a half hours away, so I wouldn’t realistically be able to stay at home. So I decided to think about Uni’s further away such as Leeds & Exeter. My Dad keeps giving me speeches telling me that whatever Uni I go to, the qualification will be the same and that I wouldn’t be alright so far away, he thinks I’ll drop out within 6 weeks and reminds me I have a boyfriend that I might lose if I move away. Should I listen to these opinions, or should I just go to the Uni I think I’d prefer? I hate not knowing I have the support to go where I want.
For what its worth I had similar feelings as your dad years ago when my son went to university. It was very hard at first for him but the longer he has been away the easier it has become. It is difficult to now why your father feels that way but if you are essentially someone who hasnt been one for going away I can understand his feelings. That said you have to go with your gut reaction. It will be hard moving away. It is for most people and many suffer homesickness particularly during the first term. I know many including my son who battled it and stayed away without coming home during the first term as they felt if they came home early they probably wouldnt go back.

If you are prepared to go and stay away for the whole of the term and battle any homesickness you should end up fine. If you are the type to give up easily then dont go to a university away. Go into it with your eyes open.

Leeds and Exeter are both 5 hours by train away from Eastbourne so you wont end up getting back much other than for holidays. Staying 2 and 1/2 hours away wont make much difference other than travel to and from university mainly at holidays and possibly half term.
Last edited by swanseajack1; 3 weeks ago
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AC79
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(Original post by arishaarie)
When I started thinking about University, I did want to stay local so I could be close to my family. However, I realised the closest Uni that does my desired course is about 2 and a half hours away, so I wouldn’t realistically be able to stay at home. So I decided to think about Uni’s further away such as Leeds & Exeter. My Dad keeps giving me speeches telling me that whatever Uni I go to, the qualification will be the same and that I wouldn’t be alright so far away, he thinks I’ll drop out within 6 weeks and reminds me I have a boyfriend that I might lose if I move away. Should I listen to these opinions, or should I just go to the Uni I think I’d prefer? I hate not knowing I have the support to go where I want.
Hi, where you go for university is completely up to you. The qualification may be the same but some unis do vary in their courses with their approach. The uni accommodation, night life, success rates etc. are different and are a large factor you should take into consideration. As for your boyfriend he should be supportive of whatever you choose and understand if you might have to move away but know that you will remain in touch and it wouldn't be impossible to see each other. Uni is not a little easy decision and can take a while to decide on but whatever you choose should be the one YOU are most happy with. If your family are not understanding them maybe sit down and have a chat with them about how much it would mean if you had their support and how tough a decision it is but it's something that will be beneficial in the long run.
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JordanP_27
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(Original post by arishaarie)
When I started thinking about University, I did want to stay local so I could be close to my family. However, I realised the closest Uni that does my desired course is about 2 and a half hours away, so I wouldn’t realistically be able to stay at home. So I decided to think about Uni’s further away such as Leeds & Exeter. My Dad keeps giving me speeches telling me that whatever Uni I go to, the qualification will be the same and that I wouldn’t be alright so far away, he thinks I’ll drop out within 6 weeks and reminds me I have a boyfriend that I might lose if I move away. Should I listen to these opinions, or should I just go to the Uni I think I’d prefer? I hate not knowing I have the support to go where I want.
You do what you think is best for you. At the end of the day, it is your degree.

Yeah, listen to your parents, but I don't think they should be the main influence on where you decide to go. You go where you want to go and where you think will be best for you.
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PQ
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With radiography there's also a strong chance that you wont be able to find work near to your home but will have to move to a new town or city for a while. Having the confidence to do that from moving away for university will make that a lot less intimidating than if it's your first real time away from home - plus you'll have a "base" in two places so there's more chance of finding your first job somewhere familiar.
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mnot
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(Original post by PQ)
With radiography there's also a strong chance that you wont be able to find work near to your home but will have to move to a new town or city for a while. Having the confidence to do that from moving away for university will make that a lot less intimidating than if it's your first real time away from home - plus you'll have a "base" in two places so there's more chance of finding your first job somewhere familiar.
PRSOM
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ajj2000
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(Original post by arishaarie)
Diagnostic Radiography and I’m in East Sussex
Where have you applied? I would take into consideration cost of living. It’s best to ask some current radiotherapy students for advice - I think it’s a pretty long hours course so not a great idea to rely on part time work.
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_gcx
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"the qualification will be the same" is really just obtuse. It's three+ years of your life. There can be fairly substantial differences between universities be it the environment, the facilities, the area, etc. You should go to a university you like.
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Leviathan1611
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listen and consider what they're saying, they're just giving their advice and mean well, but the decision is yours at the end.
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