My sister may have kissed my boyfriend

Please keep anon as he uses this forum.

I've been seeing this guy now for a few weeks, and I really like him. However, recently I keep getting the feeling he likes someone else...namely my older sister (Lets call her anne), because of a number of incidents.

The night we met it was him, me and my sister and it was through her that we met. Anyway, him and I went off to talk, and he soon got all concerned she was alone and insisted we went back to her.

Another night, I borrowed my sister's jacket, and he ended up taking it home with him, and when I next saw him, he goes, 'I love the smell of that jacket...I just couldn't stop smelling it' and I smelled it and went 'oh yeah, that's my perfume' and he said, 'oh, I thought it was anne's'.

Then a week ago, my sister and I were out, and she had a fight with her boyfriend on the phone and was crying, and he asked me what had happened. I said, 'oh she had a fight with her bf. It's a long story' and he said 'oh, tell me' to which I replied, 'Do you really want to know that much?' He goes, 'yes,' so I told him, and he kept asking loads of questions. I then asked him if he liked my sister, and he got all defensive and went, 'I like her, but not like that', and seeing that I was a bit annoyed about his deep interest in my sister's love life, hastily added, 'It's like a soap, isn't it?' as if to say he wasn't that interested.

So last night my sister confessed she may have kissed him during her drunken 18th birthday two years ago. She said she was so drunk she can't remember if it was him, or his friend, and that whichever one she did kiss probably wouldn't remember either.

If it was him, I could accept it, and move on. I'm only worried that he still likes her, and is trying to get closer to her through me. I've already asked him if he likes her once, and I don't want to seem too confrontational. What should I do? Ask him about the kiss?

Sorry for this being a bit long-it's just really bothering me now.

Reply 1

username124534

10

try not to stress out too much.
talk to him about it, but start it off by saying something like, "something my sister said has been really upsetting me recently, and i want to ask you about it but i'm scared you'll be angry."

he'll want to know what it is, and will probably promise not to be angry with you for asking.

if he's any sort of a decent boyfriend, he'll want to stop you feeling down :]

good luck!

Reply 2

Danny the Geezer

21

I wouldn't worry too much about it, it was only a possible drunken kiss that no-one remembers.

As for the jacket thing, maybe he liked the smell of the perfume irrespective of who's it was?

Reply 3

starless_dark

2

It sounds like he likes her. As for your sister kissing him - did you really mean 2 years or was that a typo? To be fair, that's a long time ago and should be water under the bridge, but if you're worried about him using you now to get closer to her, you really need to voice your concerns and ask him to be completely honest. If he doesn't give you a straight answer, just leave it. It doesn't matter how much you like him, because you need to ask yourself "would I like him if he was using me?". Don't waste your time on a guy who is only with you to get to your sister. Hope that made sense.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

starless_dark

As for your sister kissing him - did you really mean 2 years or was that a typo?

Yes, two years ago. But like I said, I can accept that. It's just the present that I'm worried about. I've asked him already if he likes her, and he said no, so I don't want this to become a major argument between us, especially since it's still early days.

I just don't know how to approach it, because the last thing I want him doing is going into denial mode when he does actually like her.

Reply 5

dh00001

16

if youve already asked and he said no then really theres not much more you should do. if you keep prying then he will start to think you dont trust him. and that really destroys relationships

Reply 6

Greatleysteg

19

So what if they did kiss? He's with you, not her, and this was two years ago. Don't go all bunny-boiler on him, give him some trust.

Reply 7

Lady_Darkness

You say you met him through your sister, so presumably he and your sister have been friends for a while (over 2 years, apparently) and his concern/interest in her relationship problems, and he worrying about her being on her own in another room, is just friendly.

As for the kiss - well stuff happens when people get drunk and they usually mean nothing (so long as both parties are single at the time, where's the harm?), and considering it was waaaay before you and he started going out it shouldn't be a big thing.

Your own paranoia may be blowing things out of proportion here?

Reply 8

jeconomos

Wow it's almost scary how similar this story is to what my relationship is like. I have been dating the same guy on and off for four years, we've been very serious. Only one problem, six years ago (two years before we started dating) my sister & him drunkingly hooked up. I almost can't bare it. It tears me apart from my sister and makes me insecure with my relationship to this day. I still wonder sometimes to this day if I will always worry about this. Me and him have thought about marriage but every now and then it pops back in my head that they have "hooked up" and I wonder if I want to marry someone who has already had my sister. I just would like to know where you and your boyfriend ended up with this very same situation.

Reply 9

Ronnie039

This also reminds me of my life for the past 3 years I've been with my boyfriend on and off because of my paranoia about him liking my sister more than me just because of his drunken kiss with my sister years before we got together.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Ghost thread, but nonetheless this thread makes me glad I don't have a sister. I can't imagine being backstabbed by my own flesh and blood like that.

My sister may have kissed my boyfriend

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