I have isolated myself for years and don't know what to do about it Watch

Anonymous #1
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When I was in my early teens my family suffered several losses that had a severe negative effect on me. I became depressed, but when I tried to speak about it to anyone I just made them angry so I learned to bottle it up. My depression has never been treated, and has resurfaced many times (I'm now 21) in different forms. One of the results of this is that I have become a total flake.
I think that because I had to deal with my feelings alone, my brain is used to being alone. I hate this about myself, because now whenever I get a text message or an email, I get anxiety and can't answer it. I fear that I have totally screwed up any friendships/opportunities that I could have had (even when I KNOW that I really love the person). I am distant and unresponsive with people I actually care about, and I don't know how to stop because I'm afraid. I don't know how to open up.

Anyone else dealt with self-isolation?
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ThatMarrett
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I suggest the first thing to do would be to seek professional help if available. Support groups would be good to check out as well.
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emily_000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When I was in my early teens my family suffered several losses that had a severe negative effect on me. I became depressed, but when I tried to speak about it to anyone I just made them angry so I learned to bottle it up. My depression has never been treated, and has resurfaced many times (I'm now 21) in different forms. One of the results of this is that I have become a total flake.
I think that because I had to deal with my feelings alone, my brain is used to being alone. I hate this about myself, because now whenever I get a text message or an email, I get anxiety and can't answer it. I fear that I have totally screwed up any friendships/opportunities that I could have had (even when I KNOW that I really love the person). I am distant and unresponsive with people I actually care about, and I don't know how to stop because I'm afraid. I don't know how to open up.

Anyone else dealt with self-isolation?
no I am social person, I love being around people, meet new people etc.

Why don't you try to tell your GP your story? and seek professional help? Depression is a mental illness.
Last edited by emily_000; 3 weeks ago
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watershower
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yes same but in different ways. i talk to people, hang out in groups, but i am mentally isolated. everyone only knows me on a superficial level, and i’m starting to deal with the consequences. this problem also stemmed from family issues.
glad to know i am not alone. i get anxious at the thought of vulnerability.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ThatMarrett)
I suggest the first thing to do would be to seek professional help if available. Support groups would be good to check out as well.
I've been to my university counsellor, who said that my emotional capacity is full right now because of my university stress (I'm in my final year), and that's probably why I get anxiety about contacting people. But it's been going on since high school so idk. I can't afford a therapist and GPs don't really care lol
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by watershower)
yes same but in different ways. i talk to people, hang out in groups, but i am mentally isolated. everyone only knows me on a superficial level, and i’m starting to deal with the consequences. this problem also stemmed from family issues.
glad to know i am not alone. i get anxious at the thought of vulnerability.
I talk to people face to face quite easily and I have a group of uni friends (who know I'm a flake bc that's the only way they've ever known me and they accept it), but it took a long time for me to be totally comfortable with them contacting me. I get that feeling of being scared to form close bonds too, I feel like I'm only really comfortable with letting people know the surface me .. I'm glad to know I'm not alone as well
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Pathway
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I do, sort of. I do have close friends, but I prefer being on my own because whilst I love my friends and they support me in various ways, I do also get stressed around them for other reasons (mainly due to anxiety around them ending their lives due to the fact I've lost a few friends to suicide). So I go through periods where I avoid everyone and left to my own devices I would probably avoid everyone forever. :dontknow: It's hard to get out of this pattern tbh, which is why I'm grateful that my friends understand and give me space when needed, but equally know me well enough to know when to step in and let me know they're there for me if I need them (they also know I'm there if they need someone, we all have a really deep bond with each other).
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