Should i break up with him?

I am honestly really annoyed.
Now me and my boyfriend have been going out for 6 months now. We both love each other but we have a lot of complications, i dont feel like i csn talk to my friends about it because all they will do is tell me to break up with him, and not listen.
Now i recently faught with my boyfriend, he told me that hes emotionally numb and that he cannot feel anything, he told me that i used to make him feel things. Me being me i was devestated, i thought there was something wrong with me and that ive done this to him, he said i wasnt the reason, but i beg to differ
Not only that when he doesnt get his way he goes bitter, i feel like im walking on egg shells constantly, i dont want to fight i dont want to hurt him
He really doesnt know how to express his love to me. I tell him to kiss me, i tell him to hug me, i tell him i love him, i make him feel loved but i dont feel like i get the same effort back.
I try to explain to him how much i love him but he assumes that i should already know how much he loves me and so doesnt feel the need to tell me
He doesnt tell me a lot of things actually
I try to be there for him constsntly, he never lets me,
I am workşng my arse off to be a good girlfriend but it never works, we still end up fighting everyday but losing him will crısh me into pieces becsusr i am very much so in love with him
He recently told me that he doesnt get much out of sex, he says i get more out of it and he doesnt enjoy it as much, ive asked him if the problem is me ive asked him many things he judt always says i dont know
I am devestated, my heart hurts and im very attatched to him. No matter how much love i give him no mstter how hard i try to be a good girlfriend i will never be good enough. İ honestly hsve no idea what to do
Sometimes he does express his love though nut vrry often.
Hes the type of person to be “best friends” in a relationshşp rather than lovers, and when were just friends its just annoying because i feel like im constantly rejected.

Reply 1

Designeddeath

He sounds apathetic. Staying in d relationship depends on if you’re okay with that kind of relationship. Although it doesn’t sound like you’re okay with it anymore and don’t blame yourself for that. I think you should let him go and go for what makes you feel like you’re in a garden and not walking on egg shells all d time

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

He also has

Original post by Designeddeath

Thank you for reading, he also once said that he wants to care but cant, so idk if hes apathetic or not. Right after he told me that he cant feel anytjing he said i make his stomach get buttetflies when he thinks of me-although he says this type of stuff very rarely, so im very confused on what to do :frown:

i will consider breakinh up with him but irdk

Reply 3

JDINCINERATOR

Original post by Designeddeath

Why do you think your friends don't listen when they say you should break up with him? As tough as it may appear, you've got to look out for what's best for you. If your boyfriend's apathy makes you feel distant from him, then it is up to you whether you feel you can handle this distance. I know it seems selfish to break-up with somebody you love, but if he's not making you feel good about yourself then you should separate from him-otherwise you're enslaving yourself to your emotions and not taking hold of what you want. I don't know whether you should be direct with him about your feelings, but I think if you give him an ultimatum then perhaps he'll be more open with you. A one-sided relationship is never good and his lack of openness with you indicates the possibility that he just doesn't care about you as much as you care about him.

Reply 4

Designeddeath

Original post by Anonymous

He also hasThank you for reading, he also once said that he wants to care but cant, so idk if hes apathetic or not. Right after he told me that he cant feel anytjing he said i make his stomach get buttetflies when he thinks of me-although he says this type of stuff very rarely, so im very confused on what to do :frown:

i will consider breakinh up with him but irdk

I honestly think you should tell him how you feel and if he can’t do anything about it, leave him. It’s a waste of time. My friend was involved with someone who was also apathetic, he liked her but it just wasn’t what she wanted. She waited for something diff to happen for more than a year. Guess what, it never happened, they don’t change.

Reply 5

asbestosinhaler

Please break up with this person, I understand you love him but you very much have to accept that he's an emotionally dead person. You shouldn't have to work hard to keep this relationship as it essentially makes your relationship one-sided, please accept that your bf won't make you happy and your happiness is what YOU need to priorities.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by JDINCINERATOR

Thank you for reading, i dont tell my friends because they tend to not like the people i like, and they force me in to breaking up.
My boyfriend is open, infact too open. He’ll be completely honest with me even if it hurts, ive told him many times about how i feel and he just denies it, he says i just assume things. It breaks my heart, he knows it upsets me, he just says he wants to care

Reply 7

niewei

ËN 请给你的男朋友一点空间，不要总粘着他。

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

It seems that is just him and the way he expresses himself and what he wants from a relationship. You have to consider whether or not you are happy or can be content with this kind of relationship, thinking about how important feeling loved and being affectionate and close etc is to you. I don't think he will change, people express their love and communicate differently, ik it can be frustrating when you can show your love and communicate very openly but your boyfriend cannot.

Arguing constantly will only make you unhappy, and you can't continue a relationship like this, you seem discontent and upset. I think you have to talk with your boyfriend and explain the dilemma you face, and see what he says. If he won't change or can't change these fundamental things then you may have to consider how you would feel being in a relationship forever with someone like that. If him not changing would make you unhappy, then I think you should leave and find someone more compatible in this sense. I know it's hard when you love someone, and you are compatible in other ways, but you can't go on like that forever, and loving someone doesn't mean you are happy with them or should be with them

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

I really dont know what to do, thanks everyone. Its up to me to decide wether i can stay in a relationship where i dont feel loved enough, the thing is i really love this person, like ivr never lovef someone so much. Idk if he’ll change, idk if we’ll sort it out. Thank you all for your help it means a lot❤️

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

I was in a relationship like this with someone once and he sounded exactly the same as your boyfriend sounds. It was incredibly hard work emotionally and mentally for me but I didn't want to end it because I thought I was very into him (it wasn't love but I felt strongly).
He would say similar things too, like he could never love anyone and he was just emotionally void and didn't have a heart etc. He was always deadpan and melancholy and never joked around. He took everything too seriously. He would also play hot and cold too which confused me even more. If I was making a lot of effort with him he'd pull away and ignore my messages, give me one word answers, say cruel things etc. But when I got bored of that behaviour and started to drift away and focus on myself, back he would come, acting like he couldn't be away from me, constantly messaging me, telling me he missed me and wished he could see me (ldr). He did it over and over like that for the whole time we were together and it drove me mad.
Sometimes I'd just sit crying. I told him how I felt too, we had long discussions about it but nothing ever changed.
Eventually I just ended it and cut contact. It was very hard for weeks and weeks and I often felt like just messaging him to make up but I never did.
Now that was like 4 years ago and I've moved on 100% and don't ever think of him or miss him anymore. He isn't anything to me now and now that I'm out of the situation I can see it for what it was. I'd never waste my time on someone like that ever again and I'd always advise the same to anyone else suffering like that.
Some people are happy to be with someone who's behaviour is like that. It doesn't sound like you're one of them and trust me when I say nothing you do will make him change.
Its hard but you really should walk away from this and focus on yourself and in the future sometime you will find someone who can express themself properly. I think if you stay with him you will only feel worse and worse about yourself.
I know you've just posted there to thank everyone and this was a 2 day old post but I couldn't scroll past without giving my 2 cents worth.
Good luck