My girlfriend doesn’t want me to move to uni with her

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Anonymous #1
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I asked my girlfriend if we should get a place together when she goes uni, she doesn’t want to and I don’t know why
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Theloniouss
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You should ask her.
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Torigracex
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One way you make friends when you go to university is by being in uni halls in flats of people, so moving in immediately with you means she’d be unable to do so. That may be why. Or you could ask her instead of posting on TSR about it.
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kkboyk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I asked my girlfriend if we should get a place together when she goes uni, she doesn’t want to and I don’t know why

Depends, are you going to uni for her or for your own benefits? Are there better universities that meet your needs which you want to go and could benefit you in the long run? Or are you just going to the uni just for your gf?

Have you asked her why? Does she have a genuine reason or is it just because she wants to meet new people and try things out? There's no point asking a forum as your gf has the answers. You both are couples so should discuss your problems with each other.

Tbh with you couples prior to uni hardly ever last long. Most tend to break up during first year.
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bones-mccoy
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She may think things are moving too fast as living together is a very big commitment and it's going to cause issues if it doesn't work out, plus a lot of people like to experience the classic uni life when moving away and she may struggle to do that if living with someone she already knows.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
She may think things are moving too fast as living together is a very big commitment and it's going to cause issues if it doesn't work out, plus a lot of people like to experience the classic uni life when moving away and she may struggle to do that if living with someone she already knows.
That’s a pretty horrible reason, what’s the difference of living with me and some randoms?
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That’s a pretty horrible reason, what’s the difference of living with me and some randoms?
Having friends as opposed to being basically married at 18...

Are you going to the uni too, or just moving to follow her?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Drewski)
Having friends as opposed to being basically married at 18...

Are you going to the uni too, or just moving to follow her?
How’s it marriage at 18, it’s just a getting an apartment??😂😂 I’m going for her and to open up opportunities for myself in the profession I’m in
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How’s it marriage at 18, it’s just a getting an apartment??😂😂 I’m going for her and to open up opportunities for myself in the profession I’m in
Living alone with her, rather than her getting out and meeting new people. At 18, that's daunting and a bit too serious. I'm not at all surprised she's saying she's prefer not to.

And especially as you're not going to uni there, it comes across as a bit controlling, that you don't want her to meet new people or have been friends.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I asked my girlfriend if we should get a place together when she goes uni, she doesn’t want to and I don’t know why
Is it just your girlfriend going to uni and you moving with her? Why do you want her to live with you?

How will you afford it, and who is going to do all the upkeep and shopping, cooking etc? Where would you live that is a sensible distance from campus where she can travel easily and safely? What if she wants to stay late to study or chat with friends or party or have a part-time job somewhere?

Talk to her, but why not leave her to her course without additional distractions and being free to make the most of the whole experience of uni?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Drewski)
Living alone with her, rather than her getting out and meeting new people. At 18, that's daunting and a bit too serious. I'm not at all surprised she's saying she's prefer not to.

And especially as you're not going to uni there, it comes across as a bit controlling, that you don't want her to meet new people or have been friends.
Making it sound like I’m gonna put up some prison bars in the apartment pal, asking to get a place together isn’t controlling in the slightest. So it’s daunting getting a place with me but not with randoms??
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AnonymousNoMore
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Making it sound like I’m gonna put up some prison bars in the apartment pal, asking to get a place together isn’t controlling in the slightest. So it’s daunting getting a place with me but not with randoms??
She probably just thinks it's too soon. And like they said uni halls is the best way to interact with other uni members socially. She probably just doesn't want to miss out on what most people would say is the best part of uni, the social aspect.
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AnonymousNoMore
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And what if things go wrong? You've put all this money down for an apartment and you split up. Can you afford it on your own, where will she go because she won't be able to go back to halls.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Is it just your girlfriend going to uni and you moving with her? Why do you want her to live with you?

How will you afford it, and who is going to do all the upkeep and shopping, cooking etc? Where would you live that is a sensible distance from campus where she can travel easily and safely? What if she wants to stay late to study or chat with friends or party or have a part-time job somewhere?

Talk to her, but why not leave her to her course without additional distractions and being free to make the most of the whole experience of uni?
I don’t understand how living together is going to stop her from doing other things, I’m not controlling her.
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Making it sound like I’m gonna put up some prison bars in the apartment pal, asking to get a place together isn’t controlling in the slightest. So it’s daunting getting a place with me but not with randoms??
Didn't say you are, just that that's how it could sound.

And it's a different kind of daunting. Yeah, meeting new people is weird, but taking a relationship to that stage is pretty serious and has a lot of connotations that some people at 18 aren't ready for.

If you can't understand that I question whether you have the emotional intelligence for the relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Drewski)
Didn't say you are, just that that's how it could sound.

And it's a different kind of daunting. Yeah, meeting new people is weird, but taking a relationship to that stage is pretty serious and has a lot of connotations that some people at 18 aren't ready for.

If you can't understand that I question whether you have the emotional intelligence for the relationship.
We’ve been together for 3 years lol and it’ll be 4 by the time she goes to university. Jokes on you she actually said she’d want to get a place together I was just prepping for If she said no lollllll
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Drewski
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We’ve been together for 3 years lol and it’ll be 4 by the time she goes to university. Jokes on you she actually said she’d want to get a place together I was just prepping for If she said no lollllll
Oh, devastating 'joke' :rolleyes:
Last edited by Drewski; 1 year ago
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AnonymousNoMore
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We’ve been together for 3 years lol and it’ll be 4 by the time she goes to university. Jokes on you she actually said she’d want to get a place together I was just prepping for If she said no lollllll
What happens if you break up? It's one thing to move in together when youre in employment but when youre students it's a whole different world
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AnonymousNoMore)
What happens if you break up? It's one thing to move in together when youre in employment but when youre students it's a whole different world
I’m working full time and she gets student finance we’ll be fine
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AnonymousNoMore
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m working full time and she gets student finance we’ll be fine
And if you break up? Where will she go?
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