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Girls? Why do you hate depressed guys?

I’m suffering from extreme loneliness and depression now and a big part of my depression is the realisation that no girl gives a **** about me.

I see gorgeous girls on campus all the time with unattractive guys proving looks don’t really matter in a relationship sure a girl would rather be with a hot guy but she will happily settle in a relationship with an ugly guy instead of just being good friends with him. Also at clubs girls making out with unattractive guys and the dreaded one night stands makes me so jealous and sad that other guys get to have these experiences and please these girls, girls at clubs have eyed me up before and some even take my hand to dance but I’m usually too shy to initiate Anything further.

I wish I could pull girls every week since most singles guys do and I’m attractive and girls show a lot of interest in me at clubs. Seeing all the couples on campus and the way the girls look at the guys versus the way girls look at me.

When I’m depressed girls either look nervous or uncomfortable and look away like I’m causing them discomfort for being depressed they do not look sympathetic for feel bad for me. Or they look at me like I’m a crazy person or they look at me like I’ve muttered their entire family. The only explanation I can think of is either girls are all sociopaths and incapable of feeling sympathy or empathy for other people or that my face is coming off as moody and miserable and angry and not sad even though I don’t feel angry I only feel sadness.

I’m attractive and when I’m not depressed a lot of girls I don’t know smile when looking my way but when I’m depressed I don’t get that nor do I get girls feeling bad for me. I just want to know girls care because if I were to meet a girl and we got on great but if we were strangers and she walked past me in the street when I’m fighting back tears and she doesn’t seem bothered at all I wouldn’t want to be with her regardless of how great we got along.

I’ve been depressed before but nowhere near as intense as now I’m literally coming home from uni everyday and spend hours on end crying! I can’t go on like this! I’m so so so depressed and feel girls don’t care! Even when I’m not depressed if I look a girl in the eye passing her on campus she either avoids eye contact when she sees me, or looks at me with contempt!

What’s going on? Is this all in my head? Or girls if you seen a guy depressed would you really hate him and not feel bad for him? Please answer these questions I really don’t think my face is coming off as moody to others I just feel sad but maybe it is? Or maybe girls don’t give a **** about me! Things are so bad now I’m
So depressed and sad I just cry all the time.
(edited 4 years ago)

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I doubt that any girl hates you.

Same answer as the last time you posted this thread. :colonhash:
Are you going to be one of those TSR users that ask the same question dozens of times until you get the answer that you want? :rolleyes:
I don't hate depressed guys, but I do hate block text. :redface:
Reply 3
Original post by londonmyst
I doubt that any girl hates you.

Same answer as the last time you posted this thread. :colonhash:
Are you going to be one of those TSR users that ask the same question dozens of times until you get the answer that you want? :rolleyes:

Try and think of this from my perspective. I’ve asked similar questions in the past and people haven’t even answered the question they’ve just judged me or criticised me, sure some may have given some good advice but they still didn’t answer the question it’s like doing an essay at uni and not referring back to the question it’s pointless! I’m suffering a lot that is all and I just can’t see any evidence in real life that any girl actually gives a rats ass about me or my mental state :frown:
No girl 'hates' you because you look sad. I have a flatmate that constantly moans about how sad he is and how no girls likes him. And I think if you maybe improved yourself first, and learned to be on your own, independent and happy then it would change your outlook. You can't expect someone to pick you up and ake you happy. You need to learn to do that by yourself
Original post by Anonymous
Try and think of this from my perspective. I’ve asked similar questions in the past and people haven’t even answered the question they’ve just judged me or criticised me, sure some may have given some good advice but they still didn’t answer the question it’s like doing an essay at uni and not referring back to the question it’s pointless! I’m suffering a lot that is all and I just can’t see any evidence in real life that any girl actually gives a rats ass about me or my mental state :frown:

Okay but if these people are complete strangers, how would they know about your mental state? Just because you looked at them all sad looking? People don't tend to read into things that deeply.
Original post by Anonymous
Try and think of this from my perspective. I’ve asked similar questions in the past and people haven’t even answered the question they’ve just judged me or criticised me, sure some may have given some good advice but they still didn’t answer the question it’s like doing an essay at uni and not referring back to the question it’s pointless! I’m suffering a lot that is all and I just can’t see any evidence in real life that any girl actually gives a rats ass about me or my mental state :frown:

Your question revolves around the erroneous premise that random girls hate you.
They don't even know you.

Friends, professional carers and other members of your support network are the most likely to care about you.
Female and male.
Other people have no time to focus upon you, your feelings and what you want.
They are more concerned with their own lives, bills and friendship groups.
Reply 7
Original post by londonmyst
Your question revolves around the erroneous premise that random girls hate you.
They don't even know you.

Friends, professional carers and other members of your support network are the most likely to care about you.
Female and male.
Other people have no time to focus upon you, your feelings and what you want.
They are more concerned with their own lives, bills and friendship groups.

Well people can form judgements when they see people I’ve had girls I don’t know look at me in positive and negative ways before. And they don’t have to know me to care about me, basically all I’m wondering is it they would feel bad for someone being depressed and so far my real life experiences as well as what people are saying on here suggest that girls are heartless and don’t give a **** about sad people which I’m trying my best not to believe and you haven’t proven that girls can show sympathy by your comment
Original post by Anonymous
I’m suffering from extreme loneliness and depression now and a big part of my depression is the realisation that no girl gives a **** about me. I see gorgeous girls on campus all the time with unattractive guys proving looks don’t really matter in a relationship sure a girl would rather be with a hot guy but she will happily settle in a relationship with an ugly guy instead of just being good friends with him. Also at clubs girls making out with unattractive guys and the dreaded one night stands makes me so jealous and sad that other guys get to have these experiences and please these girls, girls at clubs have eyed me up before and some even take my hand to dance but I’m usually too shy to initiate Anything further. I wish I could pull girls every week since most singles guys do and I’m attractive and girls show a lot of interest in me at clubs. Seeing all the couples on campus and the way the girls look at the guys versus the way girls look at me. When I’m depressed girls either look nervous or uncomfortable and look away like I’m causing them discomfort for being depressed they do not look sympathetic for feel bad for me. Or they look at me like I’m a crazy person or they look at me like I’ve muttered their entire family. The only explanation I can think of is either girls are all sociopaths and incapable of feeling sympathy or empathy for other people or that my face is coming off as moody and miserable and angry and not sad even though I don’t feel angry I only feel sadness. I’m attractive and when I’m not depressed a lot of girls I don’t know smile when looking my way but when I’m depressed I don’t get that nor do I get girls feeling bad for me. I just want to know girls care because if I were to meet a girl and we got on great but if we were strangers and she walked past me in the street when I’m fighting back tears and she doesn’t seem bothered at all I wouldn’t want to be with her regardless of how great we got along. I’ve been depressed before but nowhere near as intense as now I’m literally coming home from uni everyday and spend hours on end crying! I can’t go on like this! I’m so so so depressed and feel girls don’t care! Even when I’m not depressed if I look a girl in the eye passing her on campus she either avoids eye contact when she sees me, or looks at me with contempt! What’s going on? Is this all in my head? Or girls if you seen a guy depressed would you really hate him and not feel bad for him? Please answer these questions I really don’t think my face is coming off as moody to others I just feel sad but maybe it is? Or maybe girls don’t give a **** about me! Things are so bad now I’m
So depressed and sad I just cry all the time and want to die.

I can't speak on behalf of all of us but as a girl I will tell you - we do NOT hate you. When you are depressed your head probably makes you think the situation is much worse than it actually is. Which only leads to deeper depression. So it must be in your head. At least I know for myself, I always imagine how people hate me and want to cut off contact with me :smile: . Also if girls are not looking at you on the streets or clubs then the problem is probably that either they are too busy, not in the mood or you come across as someone who is unapproachable, whatever the reason may be. Furthermore girls dislike taking the first step. And if you are a guy who also won't take the first step....then how will the magic happen?? We still like to be chased and wooed, even if it is 2020, so it would be far better if boys approached girls and not vice versa. For example, when I text a boy I feel as if i'm annoying him just cause I am the one texting and not him. But when boys text me I NEVER find that annoying. So I believe if you started a conversation with some girls, things would gradually get better. And when they get to know you, they WILL start being sympathetic and caring more about your condition. If not, then these girls are rubbish. Actually, most girls wouldn't mind being there for you and helping you overcome your problems. After all, that's a significant part of every relationship. Hope you get better. <3
Original post by Anonymous
Well people can form judgements when they see people I’ve had girls I don’t know look at me in positive and negative ways before. And they don’t have to know me to care about me, basically all I’m wondering is it they would feel bad for someone being depressed and so far my real life experiences as well as what people are saying on here suggest that girls are heartless and don’t give a **** about sad people which I’m trying my best not to believe and you haven’t proven that girls can show sympathy by your comment

I think you should change your thread title to "I hate girls because they don't give me attention, this is heartless and makes me cry AMA". :biggrin:

I don't feel sorry for you at all.
You sound like an attention seeking conspiracy theorist with a persecution mania.
In the habit of abusing TSRs anonymous feature too. :fangs:
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
Also at clubs girls making out with unattractive guys and the dreaded one night stands makes me so jealous and sad that other guys get to have these experiences and please these girls, girls at clubs have eyed me up before and some even take my hand to dance but I’m usually too shy to initiate Anything further. I wish I could pull girls every week since most singles guys do and I’m attractive and girls show a lot of interest in me at clubs.

The bold text doesn’t do anything to help your cause. I’d say most girls don’t like to be a one time sex thing. I take no issue with depressed people as someone who suffers on and off from depression myself, however I’m sure the girls that will understand best will be ones who aren’t exactly into partying every weekend and one night stands.

If you’re shy then an extroverted girl may feel that you and her would be incompatible, but a shy girl would probably be too shy to approach you. I understand this may be difficult for you but I’d suggest that you be the one to initiate a conversation with a girl that you feel a connection with as it’s possible your shyness may be misinterpreted as lack of interest, and of course many girls prefer the guy to be the one to hit on them first.
(edited 4 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I just want to know girls care because if I were to meet a girl and we got on great but if we were strangers and she walked past me in the street when I’m fighting back tears and she doesn’t seem bothered at all I wouldn’t want to be with her regardless of how great we got along. I’ve been depressed before but nowhere near as intense as now I’m literally coming home from uni everyday and spend hours on end crying! I can’t go on like this! I’m so so so depressed and feel girls don’t care! Even when I’m not depressed if I look a girl in the eye passing her on campus she either avoids eye contact when she sees me, or looks at me with contempt! What’s going on? Is this all in my head? Or girls if you seen a guy depressed would you really hate him and not feel bad for him?

Why should any girls give a **** about you? They don't know you, and most people give no ****s about people they don't know.

You're not a helpless puppy, you're an adult. Stop looking for someone else to fix you. Take steps to fix your own mental health.

If I saw a depressed guy I would avoid him because why would I impose? I don't know them, I don't know what they need or what they're feeling. Same as a girl. I might feel sorry for them in my head but under no circumstances would I speak to them, like most people. If YOU want people to speak to you, take initiative
Original post by borikarakasheva
I can't speak on behalf of all of us but as a girl I will tell you - we do NOT hate you. When you are depressed your head probably makes you think the situation is much worse than it actually is. Which only leads to deeper depression. So it must be in your head. At least I know for myself, I always imagine how people hate me and want to cut off contact with me :smile: . Also if girls are not looking at you on the streets or clubs then the problem is probably that either they are too busy, not in the mood or you come across as someone who is unapproachable, whatever the reason may be. Furthermore girls dislike taking the first step. And if you are a guy who also won't take the first step....then how will the magic happen?? We still like to be chased and wooed, even if it is 2020, so it would be far better if boys approached girls and not vice versa. For example, when I text a boy I feel as if i'm annoying him just cause I am the one texting and not him. But when boys text me I NEVER find that annoying. So I believe if you started a conversation with some girls, things would gradually get better. And when they get to know you, they WILL start being sympathetic and caring more about your condition. If not, then these girls are rubbish. Actually, most girls wouldn't mind being there for you and helping you overcome your problems. After all, that's a significant part of every relationship. Hope you get better. <3

That was a good answer thank you for that. Well when I haven’t been depressed a lot of girls don’t look at me and some even look angry, I don’t know if it’s something I’ve done even though I don’t have a resting ***** face or these girls are just in bad moods at that time or are just nasty nasty people. I’m a very attractive guy, I hate saying that because it sounds really up my own arse and cocky but I’m just being honest about my physical appearance. I’ve been in clubs before seen ugly guys kissing beautiful girls because they have the confidence to approach despite being unattractive they have the right to be confident because the girls are willing. Which means I have even more right to be confident but I’m not confident around girls because even though I’m attractive I find girls I don’t know very very unfriendly rude and unapproachable yet they’ll happily date an unattractive guy. I’ve been in clubs before had girls ‘accidentally’ grab my arse several times had girls eyeing me up smiling at me some girls even take my hand and try to dance with me but I’m very shy too shy to initiate more. When I’m depressed girls look at me like they hate me. I’ve been so depressed seeing couples on campus recently. I’ve messaged girls on tinder Instagram but they all ignore me it seems girls would rather be romantically involved with an ugly guy who approaches them in person then start a relationship with a hot guy online. Don’t know if they feel much more comfortable talking in person or whatever don’t know if you can agree with that or not
No, people generally don't feel anything towards complete strangers. Why would they? They lack any emotional connection to them.

Your expectations don't seem very realistic.
Reply 14
Haven't you posted this before? You need to seek help before you can get into a relationship. Nobody would want to get into relationship with someone suffering from depression, its a huge deal breaker and comes with huge problems which will be too much for them to deal with.
Firstly girls like confident boys, not shy boys. You will have to become more confident.
Secondly you will have to talk to girls first and not wait for them to come to you.
Thirdly you should focus on making yourself happy before thinking about girls.
I think I deserve some rep on my profile for that.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m suffering from extreme loneliness and depression now and a big part of my depression is the realisation that no girl gives a **** about me. I see gorgeous girls on campus all the time with unattractive guys proving looks don’t really matter in a relationship sure a girl would rather be with a hot guy but she will happily settle in a relationship with an ugly guy instead of just being good friends with him. Also at clubs girls making out with unattractive guys and the dreaded one night stands makes me so jealous and sad that other guys get to have these experiences and please these girls, girls at clubs have eyed me up before and some even take my hand to dance but I’m usually too shy to initiate Anything further. I wish I could pull girls every week since most singles guys do and I’m attractive and girls show a lot of interest in me at clubs. Seeing all the couples on campus and the way the girls look at the guys versus the way girls look at me. When I’m depressed girls either look nervous or uncomfortable and look away like I’m causing them discomfort for being depressed they do not look sympathetic for feel bad for me. Or they look at me like I’m a crazy person or they look at me like I’ve muttered their entire family. The only explanation I can think of is either girls are all sociopaths and incapable of feeling sympathy or empathy for other people or that my face is coming off as moody and miserable and angry and not sad even though I don’t feel angry I only feel sadness. I’m attractive and when I’m not depressed a lot of girls I don’t know smile when looking my way but when I’m depressed I don’t get that nor do I get girls feeling bad for me. I just want to know girls care because if I were to meet a girl and we got on great but if we were strangers and she walked past me in the street when I’m fighting back tears and she doesn’t seem bothered at all I wouldn’t want to be with her regardless of how great we got along. I’ve been depressed before but nowhere near as intense as now I’m literally coming home from uni everyday and spend hours on end crying! I can’t go on like this! I’m so so so depressed and feel girls don’t care! Even when I’m not depressed if I look a girl in the eye passing her on campus she either avoids eye contact when she sees me, or looks at me with contempt! What’s going on? Is this all in my head? Or girls if you seen a guy depressed would you really hate him and not feel bad for him? Please answer these questions I really don’t think my face is coming off as moody to others I just feel sad but maybe it is? Or maybe girls don’t give a **** about me! Things are so bad now I’m
So depressed and sad I just cry all the time and want to die :frown:

As pointed out failure to use paragraphs will mean many people will not read your thread.
As they all pointed out they wont hate you and unlikely to know you, so they will be indifferent and unaware. If they dont know you exist then how can they hate you?

Care to explain the advantages of a depressed guy over a non depressed one?
Maybe girls arent the answer you think they are and you need to work on being happy with yourself.
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
I’m suffering from extreme loneliness and depression now and a big part of my depression is the realisation that no girl gives a **** about me. I see gorgeous girls on campus all the time with unattractive guys proving looks don’t really matter in a relationship sure a girl would rather be with a hot guy but she will happily settle in a relationship with an ugly guy instead of just being good friends with him. Also at clubs girls making out with unattractive guys and the dreaded one night stands makes me so jealous and sad that other guys get to have these experiences and please these girls, girls at clubs have eyed me up before and some even take my hand to dance but I’m usually too shy to initiate Anything further. I wish I could pull girls every week since most singles guys do and I’m attractive and girls show a lot of interest in me at clubs. Seeing all the couples on campus and the way the girls look at the guys versus the way girls look at me. When I’m depressed girls either look nervous or uncomfortable and look away like I’m causing them discomfort for being depressed they do not look sympathetic for feel bad for me. Or they look at me like I’m a crazy person or they look at me like I’ve muttered their entire family. The only explanation I can think of is either girls are all sociopaths and incapable of feeling sympathy or empathy for other people or that my face is coming off as moody and miserable and angry and not sad even though I don’t feel angry I only feel sadness. I’m attractive and when I’m not depressed a lot of girls I don’t know smile when looking my way but when I’m depressed I don’t get that nor do I get girls feeling bad for me. I just want to know girls care because if I were to meet a girl and we got on great but if we were strangers and she walked past me in the street when I’m fighting back tears and she doesn’t seem bothered at all I wouldn’t want to be with her regardless of how great we got along. I’ve been depressed before but nowhere near as intense as now I’m literally coming home from uni everyday and spend hours on end crying! I can’t go on like this! I’m so so so depressed and feel girls don’t care! Even when I’m not depressed if I look a girl in the eye passing her on campus she either avoids eye contact when she sees me, or looks at me with contempt! What’s going on? Is this all in my head? Or girls if you seen a guy depressed would you really hate him and not feel bad for him? Please answer these questions I really don’t think my face is coming off as moody to others I just feel sad but maybe it is? Or maybe girls don’t give a **** about me! Things are so bad now I’m
So depressed and sad I just cry all the time and want to die :frown:


awwww I believe you are looking too much into it. Girls feel no empathy when it comes to stuff like being cheated on or something , however I think something has triggered this twisted mentality of yours . Most girls are depressed nowadays , even the pretty popular ones, and we do feel that our boyfriend should be our piece instead of another depressed person. I doubt they look at you with contempt- girls are aware that a lot of boys are depressed nowadays . From a personal point of view , even if you don't feel like it and you've got this clenching throat and tears brimming, smile and find someone to talk to , trust me girls are good listeners !
Original post by Anonymous
I’m usually too shy to initiate anything further.

All I can think of is girls are all sociopaths and incapable of feeling sympathy or empathy for other people.

These two comments really stood out to me as to perhaps why you are not in a relationship.
1) Guys need to be confident to charm a girl. Usually, we don't want ones who require us to move the relationship along.
2) I hardly think calling girls 'sociopaths' is going to benefit your case. I'm sorry but just because you might be depressed, it doesn't mean we will know that and it also doesn't mean we are going to give you some sort of special treatment, which you clearly are seeking.

Depression is hard. I know this. But your relationship status shouldn't be your priority right now. It should be fighting this great sadness inside of you so that you can be a more positive person and in turn, more girls will gravitate towards you because you will emit positive energy, as stupid as that sounds. I highly doubt we are going to gravitate towards someone who is negative all the time because that will reflect onto us.

Go and seek some help from a professional, please, for your benefit not ours. I wish you all the best.
Can we keep this thread focused on offering genuine advice please.

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