Can someone please mark this AQA English language paper 2 Question 5 Answer

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wolveriz
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Can someone please tell me what you think of this piece and if so what grade you would predict it. Thank you. :

Good evening everyone, today I will be addressing the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and the beneficial factors revolving around it.
As I'm sure all of you know, life is precious and something we should never take for granted. We experience emotions sometimes incomprehensible to us. We spend time with loved ones, we dance and we set sail on inspiring adventures. What's not to love about life?
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle allows us to continue doing the things we love without clear cut limitations. We are able to overcome the obstacles that may stand in our way. Not only this, but it is said that our life span is to increase by 10% if we do so. This means we can continue to value every hour, minute and second of our lives.
In our day to day lives at school we have PE included in our curriculum/. This time dedicated is to both have fun and keep fit. Why must it be a struggle?
Having a balanced diet and exercising regularly would allow us to reach our full potential in terms of athleticism, sports and mobility. We could perceive things like PE as an hour of joy rather an hour of dread and sweat.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is not just beneficial for our physique but also our mental approach to situations. Keeping this lifestyle requires dedication and hard work and if you can do that, then this will act as motivation for you to know you have the will power and capability to achieve any of your dreams and goals in life. You will have a positive attitude about yourself and go about your life with a vibe of elation and positivity.
Healthy living is significantly important and will help you without your realisation. It is not being forced upon you but is a choice that will have major influences in the long term. So take some time to reflect. Have you taken on the lifestyle right for you?

Thank you for your time
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Kabi09
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(Original post by wolveriz)
Can someone please tell me what you think of this piece and if so what grade you would predict it. Thank you. :

Good evening everyone, today I will be addressing the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle and the beneficial factors revolving around it.
As I'm sure all of you know, life is precious and something we should never take for granted. We experience emotions sometimes incomprehensible to us. We spend time with loved ones, we dance and we set sail on inspiring adventures. What's not to love about life?
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle allows us to continue doing the things we love without clear cut limitations. We are able to overcome the obstacles that may stand in our way. Not only this, but it is said that our life span is to increase by 10% if we do so. This means we can continue to value every hour, minute and second of our lives.
In our day to day lives at school we have PE included in our curriculum/. This time dedicated is to both have fun and keep fit. Why must it be a struggle?
Having a balanced diet and exercising regularly would allow us to reach our full potential in terms of athleticism, sports and mobility. We could perceive things like PE as an hour of joy rather an hour of dread and sweat.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is not just beneficial for our physique but also our mental approach to situations. Keeping this lifestyle requires dedication and hard work and if you can do that, then this will act as motivation for you to know you have the will power and capability to achieve any of your dreams and goals in life. You will have a positive attitude about yourself and go about your life with a vibe of elation and positivity.
Healthy living is significantly important and will help you without your realisation. It is not being forced upon you but is a choice that will have major influences in the long term. So take some time to reflect. Have you taken on the lifestyle right for you?

Thank you for your time
I think good idea to include anecdotes
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