is it okay to date someone when you have feelings for someone else?

hi, so basically i have feelings for someone but these feelings aren't returned and nothing is ever going to happen between us, but i'm struggling to get over them because we're best friends. anyway, somebody new has asked me on a date - do you think it's a good idea to date someone else whilst i still have these feelings or should i wait until i'm over them?
thank you :smile:

Reply 1

username5027880

In my opinion no.
It's not fair on either party.
End it while you can, before either of you get to involved.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Karisa96

In my opinion no.
It's not fair on either party.
End it while you can, before either of you get to involved.

that's what i thought - i'm not sure if i could be totally into a relationship right now and that's not fair. it's just that the friend i had feelings for suggested dating new people as it would help me get over him, but idk.

Reply 3

Surnia

Not a good idea. Even if you weren't in a relationship with the best friend, you probably know them well enough to start making comparisons with the new guy and there would be nothing worse than you being on a date thinking "x wouldn't have done that" or "I'd rather have done this with x".

The best friend isn't interested in you. Use that as part of the process to get over them. Go out with other friends and find things to occupy your time and keep them off your mind.

Reply 4

PTMalewski

How are you going to know if your feelings may not take a turn towards another person, if you don't meet another person?

Imho. everything is okay if only you don't make false promises.
Even if you don't like him eventually, as a guy I would prefer my invitation being accepted, and later on eventually stated if it haven't worked for you, rather than be rejected straight away without any reason. If you just reject him straightaway, he might think he's not good enough and feel resigned.

Reply 5

username5027880

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I can understand that. I think I would be of the same opinion.

Reply 6

Viennaaxo

Nothing wrong with going on a date. Who knows, you may catch feelings for this new one. I had the same thing, I was so stuck on a guy and then he got a girlfriend and I was heartbroken. I went out on a few dates and soon enough I was over him. There are other fish in the sea.

Reply 7

Bruinsgirl40

Imagine if it was the other way around and you liked someone but they liked someone else and they were going to date you?

I personally would hate it, i'd feel like a second option and no one should be made to feel like that. It isn't fair on him and you.

Reply 8

StriderHort

Meh, I think it depends how you define dating, for me that's the 'getting to know someone' stage where you don't really owe each other anything bar basic respect as a person.

Reply 9

Neilos

I think the quickest and easiest way to remove unwanted feelings is to develop feelings for someone else, so why not give it a try.

Going on a date or two, see how things go, is fine... obviously if you entered into an actual relationship with them, and still had the old feelings without having any for them, it'd be wrong.