Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
Ive just been kind of upset because of my previous driving instructors. Ok so I started learning to drive im summer 2018 and had this old guy, so had my first lesson and was did fine. After a few lessons I started to struggle and the instructor would sometimes shout, he said at the end of each lesson im doing well to keep me happy, I was happy but at the back of my mind I knew I was struggling really. Anyway I was doing lessons till december 2018 then before christmas my instructor spoke to my parents about how I was struggling, he came inside my house to speak to them before my lesson. So then I had a lesson that day near my house and was struggling so he took me back home and asked me if he could let my parents into the car to show them so I just said ok so we did that, I struggled again in front of my parents which was embarassing. Anyway so then we went home coz it was the end of my lesson and my instructor said its going to take a very very long time for me to learn to drive, he said I could try automatic and it will half the time. We also discussed when I could do another lesson for january. So I started lessons in january again and struggled more. On top of all this my this instructor would shout at me agressively.

I changed instructor in maybe about the end of january last year because me and my parents decided to. I had this guy who seemed quite friendly when first meeting him, he shook hands with me so he drove me to this place where I could learn then we swapped seats. Soon I started struggling again and he had to change gears for me so he was getting funny about it. So anyway I was having continueos lessons with this new instructor struggling still. This time april I had a extremely bad lesson so we were at this junction when you werent meant to stop but I did stop and there was this alfa romeo hatchback behind me but I was struggling with my clutch control so I was rolling back and nearly hit it, I was panicking and my instructor was getting mad also the guy behind me in the alfa was getting mad horning coz its fair enough I nearly rolled into him. Anyway the guy in the alfa just speeded past me and was shouting me as he went past. The same lesson we were on this mini round about and I took the wrong exit coz I didnt know which one to take then my instructor swore at me and he basically said that he doesnt think its going to work as in this learning to drive isnt going to work. The bad lesson and him saying its not going to work really did upset me badly for a good few days. After a few days I just thought I can always go to automatic so that made me feel better but the week after I had another bad lesson and I told my instructor I was thinking about automatic then he said ok, its upto me, it might work better for me etc. He mentioned it to my parents on text but I think they said they rather me do manual so they spoke to my instructor and they agreed I can do more than once a week lessons so a few lessons in a row. I did the row of lessons a few weeks after which did help me improve a bit but I had things inbetween so I couldnt do a block of lessons all the time. So I had a lesson after the block of lessons but had a gap inbetween but I was back to sqaure one struggling again then after the lesson he spoke to my parents and explained im struggling so he said he said automatic might help or I can do block lessons with my him but hes talking about everyday so me and my parents thought ill do automatic so I started with this new guy and I am now and Im doing much better with it. Ive passed my theory a few weeks ago as well and I have my practical booked so my instructor is going to get me prepared.

Its just having bad lessons all the time really did make depressed because Ive always been into cars for all of my life and I was struggling terribly. Having bad lessons was ruining my self esteem because the thing ive been pationate about my whole life I was struggling with and it wasnt just struggling slightly it was badly. I was down, tired, anxious, stressed etc. The time when I had that lesson when I nearly hit the Alfa and my instructor said about it not going to work, that really ****ed me up for days, I was depressed, I lost my apetitite, I remember my famliy brought mcdonalds and I had one bite but couldnt eat it because my appetite was ****ed so we had to bin it. I was down for days, I think it was like 4 days, the bad lesson was on saturday and I was feeling down since then. I was feeling down on general because of the bad lessons all the time. I started feeling better when I changed to automatic but still got down often a bit but I dont know why. I used to stress out about my theory test as well upto previously when I passed it, I got it 3rd time, the first 2 times I failed it upset me as well but not that much, i just put a lot of hours then passed, the fails were both last year and I passed this year. Anyway I think the bad lessons really did **** up my 2019 because I was feeling down from about january to august, I think in about august I started to realise Im doing well, did always stress out about my theory though, I stressing about that a lot till I passed it.

Im not feeling down anymore but sometimes I just think Ive ruined my reputation with 2 instructors and Ive embarassed myself. Im just thinking its a bad memory to look back on that I struggled with a manual car and it might be something I look back on.

Sorry my post is long.
Can anyone reply with any advice with things?
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WilliamBurbidge
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#2
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I'm sorry to hear of the negative experiences you have had. I'll take more of a general response, as I haven't had driving lessons myself.

I understand it can be discouraging when doing something linked to a hobby doesn't go well, but it doesn't mean that it will continue that way. Positive encouragement can be very important to build up self confidence in areas. From the sound of it, these instructors were not providing this and were instead showing aggression/ anger, which I understand can hit your confidence while doing something.

I'm glad to hear that things are going better with your new instructor and it's great that you are continuing to give it a go, since I know comments such as this from past instructors can be really hurtful.

I know you will get there and it doesn't matter how long it takes, any mistake made along the way was another chance to learn. I'm really sorry to hear how it took a hit on you personally, remember it's okay to feel like that and it's important to talk about it.

It's okay to make mistakes, the instructors are there to teach people, so I'm sure the instructors won't think negatively about you and it was their loss by the negative attitudes they showed to you.

I hope this post helps, sorry if there isn't too much advice here!

Have a nice day!

WB
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by WilliamBurbidge)
I'm sorry to hear of the negative experiences you have had. I'll take more of a general response, as I haven't had driving lessons myself.

I understand it can be discouraging when doing something linked to a hobby doesn't go well, but it doesn't mean that it will continue that way. Positive encouragement can be very important to build up self confidence in areas. From the sound of it, these instructors were not providing this and were instead showing aggression/ anger, which I understand can hit your confidence while doing something.

I'm glad to hear that things are going better with your new instructor and it's great that you are continuing to give it a go, since I know comments such as this from past instructors can be really hurtful.

I know you will get there and it doesn't matter how long it takes, any mistake made along the way was another chance to learn. I'm really sorry to hear how it took a hit on you personally, remember it's okay to feel like that and it's important to talk about it.

It's okay to make mistakes, the instructors are there to teach people, so I'm sure the instructors won't think negatively about you and it was their loss by the negative attitudes they showed to you.

I hope this post helps, sorry if there isn't too much advice here!

Have a nice day!

WB
I appreciate you ready my long post
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WilliamBurbidge
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That's okay! I hope it helped a bit.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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(Original post by WilliamBurbidge)
That's okay! I hope it helped a bit.
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