Should I see a counsellor? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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My social anxiety has been gnawing on my mind recently. I’m 17 and I was hoping this would fade with age, but I overthink EVERYTHING, even standing up to sign in during my study periods in case I trip over or drop the pen, asking my teachers for help or asking them if I can go and get a textbook from the other room because I left mine behind just to avoid interacting with another teacher. I think it’s worsened because I joined a sixth form at a new school and I really don’t want to make a bad impression of myself, but I overthink every conversation, every movement and ugh I don’t understand it. The weird thing is that I pay no attention to other people, so why would they focus on me like my mind makes out? I also hate my voice SO much which is a major issue since I take A Level Drama - it’s just nasally in my head, even though everyone says it’s normal and I don’t know I feel like it’s a lot more high pitched than some girls. And more than anything I hate my weight even though I’m average size (10) because I have a small belly that’s visible through my skirt and ugh I don’t know. I just hate myself really and I want to learn to love myself because I don’t think I ever have.
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Pathway
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Therapy could help, yeah.
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Anonymous #2
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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy could be offered if you really push for it. It encourages you to access automatic thoughts and assumptions that cause anxiety. You record the thoughts you have and challenge them in a more realistic light.

The NHS psychological services are pretty overwhelmed and they often cannot meet demand. Many people are farmed out to nurses with no background in therapy or organisations that offer only a few appointments with councellors who don't actually conduct therapy. To get what you need you often have no be persistent and very forthcoming with information, which can be difficult for some. The waiting times for therapy can be months.

It's worth bearing in mind that most people find therapy pretty hard going. It takes a lot of effort to examine yourself and learn new skills. You are then expected to implement skills after therapy. The dynamic between therapist and patient is usually a working one. It goes without saying that finding someone you are comfortable talking to about these things is very important and, despite the "working relationship" it should also be a somewhat therapeutic relationship.

I wish you luck.
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ckatherine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My social anxiety has been gnawing on my mind recently. I’m 17 and I was hoping this would fade with age, but I overthink EVERYTHING, even standing up to sign in during my study periods in case I trip over or drop the pen, asking my teachers for help or asking them if I can go and get a textbook from the other room because I left mine behind just to avoid interacting with another teacher. I think it’s worsened because I joined a sixth form at a new school and I really don’t want to make a bad impression of myself, but I overthink every conversation, every movement and ugh I don’t understand it. The weird thing is that I pay no attention to other people, so why would they focus on me like my mind makes out? I also hate my voice SO much which is a major issue since I take A Level Drama - it’s just nasally in my head, even though everyone says it’s normal and I don’t know I feel like it’s a lot more high pitched than some girls. And more than anything I hate my weight even though I’m average size (10) because I have a small belly that’s visible through my skirt and ugh I don’t know. I just hate myself really and I want to learn to love myself because I don’t think I ever have.
I'm still at school and have social anxiety too, mine was a lot worse a few years ago, similar to yours, but got better after a bit of therapy and support from my friends. It sucks but it's not really something I can see as getting better without CBT (as someone else said) or trying to change your thinking patterns by yourself.

You said yourself that you don't pay as much attention to anyone else, so maybe you could repeat the idea that "they're not paying attention to me either" like a mantra in your head when it gets overwhelming... that's what I still sometimes have to do. Otherwise just take your time doing things, take a breather when you need to. Think about everything step-by-step like mindfulness - it's really grounding and I think it's really helpful.

And your voice is fine. Your stomach is fine. I promise, no one cares as much as you think they do.
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