Does messaging someone else online count as cheating? Sticky situation :/
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
Original post by Anonymous
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
Any behaviour that is intended to be more than just platonic is cheating. You will probably meet someone much more worthy at university, so you might as well ditch the guy now.
If you are still fighting is is unlikely there is much trust left. I seriously doubt it will get much better once you are away - if anything this may give the other person even more opportunity to cheat.
even if they are genuinely sorry, you should consider breaking up especially if you are not completely happy with them - this will only take a toll on your mental health and cause you distress at a time when you will be experiencing a lot of change whilst moving to uni and adapting to a new environment as well as undergoing a lot of hard work!
even if they are genuinely sorry, you should consider breaking up especially if you are not completely happy with them - this will only take a toll on your mental health and cause you distress at a time when you will be experiencing a lot of change whilst moving to uni and adapting to a new environment as well as undergoing a lot of hard work!
Original post by Anonymous
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
Possible to rescue and so far as you know he didnt sleep wth them.
That said I think you should consider ending it:
1. No trust.
2. Maybe hes only sorry because he was caught.
3. You dont know if he would have cheated given the chance.
4. Poor judgement.
5. lack of thought for you.
6. Disloyal.
7. Doesnt sound like a one off.
8. Immature and not ready for a relationship.
9, More freedom and chance to meet others at uni.
10. He hurt you.
That's a pretty good list.
Original post by Anonymous
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
sending sexual messages to others online is definitely not okay and definitely cheating!
this happened to a friend of mine. A girl (an acquaintance) told my friend that her bf asked the girl for nudes. The boyfriend completely denied it and sue checked out her snap chat and it was full of chats of asking loads of random girls for nudes and sexting. he apologised for lying and cheating they got back together for a few months before he started acting suspiciously and turns out he hadn't stopped doing it and had continued sexting girls. she broke up with him immediately and is much happier.
Honestly, if you can't bring yourself to ever forgive them and can't get rid of your resentment and can't see yourself trusting them, just broke up rather than dragging it out. Trust once broken is really hard to built again. Have they really done anything to show you that you can trust them? He/She really needs to earn your trust now. Because I have seen the cheater so many times just continues cheating. Besides at university when you have a LDR, trust is vital and without your relationship will never work out long term. I would advise a clean break for university- you will meet amazing people and will find someone who would never cheat on you on the first place. So why do you have to put up with this? Is he/she worth it? Are they the one? is it going anywhere? Are you honestly happier in a relationship with them or do you think you will be better off single? Is there something about your partner that you think you will never find anywhere else or is he perfect for you in a way no one else is? if not, I don't think they are worth the effort it takes to rebuild the trust. How do you know they wouldn't do it again and that they only sexted? maybe they physically cheated too. it also depends if this was just a one off thing or happened many times? and how many people? and whether he/she came clean or you caught him/her.
but first I would advise you to just talk to them about this. Really try to find out why they felt the need to sext others? Did they feel guilty and if so why didn't that stop them? Did they not realise that they would be hurting you? did they ever think about you while send those messages? was it worth jeopardizing your relationship? how would they feel if you did the same? did they not feel it was wrong when they lied to you and cheated? if so then why not stop? how could you ever trust them not to do it again? what are they willing to do to build the trust and ensure it never happens again? you really need to asking these questions even though they might be hard or painful. his/her answers will tell you everything you need to.
Original post by Anonymous
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
Sexual messages...... time to move on. Leave with your dignity intact. You deserve better
Immature, sordid and something that you view very negatively.
But I don't view any talking, texting or looking at dirty pictures/videos as unmarried adultery or 'cheating'.
It sounds like the relationship is over as far as you are concerned- you are so angry about what he did and admit that you can't forgive him.
I felt almost the same when I discovered ex bf's sordid little hobbies had left him std infected, was too disgusted to be in the same room as him and ended the relationship.
Good luck!
But I don't view any talking, texting or looking at dirty pictures/videos as unmarried adultery or 'cheating'.
It sounds like the relationship is over as far as you are concerned- you are so angry about what he did and admit that you can't forgive him.
I felt almost the same when I discovered ex bf's sordid little hobbies had left him std infected, was too disgusted to be in the same room as him and ended the relationship.
Good luck!
Say bye bye to that toxicity
Original post by WazzWazz98
If you are still fighting is is unlikely there is much trust left. I seriously doubt it will get much better once you are away - if anything this may give the other person even more opportunity to cheat.
even if they are genuinely sorry, you should consider breaking up especially if you are not completely happy with them - this will only take a toll on your mental health and cause you distress at a time when you will be experiencing a lot of change whilst moving to uni and adapting to a new environment as well as undergoing a lot of hard work!
even if they are genuinely sorry, you should consider breaking up especially if you are not completely happy with them - this will only take a toll on your mental health and cause you distress at a time when you will be experiencing a lot of change whilst moving to uni and adapting to a new environment as well as undergoing a lot of hard work!
that's really true, I was considering breaking up with them when I go to uni but it's a really difficult decision to make..
Original post by ester84
sending sexual messages to others online is definitely not okay and definitely cheating!
this happened to a friend of mine. A girl (an acquaintance) told my friend that her bf asked the girl for nudes. The boyfriend completely denied it and sue checked out her snap chat and it was full of chats of asking loads of random girls for nudes and sexting. he apologised for lying and cheating they got back together for a few months before he started acting suspiciously and turns out he hadn't stopped doing it and had continued sexting girls. she broke up with him immediately and is much happier.
Honestly, if you can't bring yourself to ever forgive them and can't get rid of your resentment and can't see yourself trusting them, just broke up rather than dragging it out. Trust once broken is really hard to built again. Have they really done anything to show you that you can trust them? He/She really needs to earn your trust now. Because I have seen the cheater so many times just continues cheating. Besides at university when you have a LDR, trust is vital and without your relationship will never work out long term. I would advise a clean break for university- you will meet amazing people and will find someone who would never cheat on you on the first place. So why do you have to put up with this? Is he/she worth it? Are they the one? is it going anywhere? Are you honestly happier in a relationship with them or do you think you will be better off single? Is there something about your partner that you think you will never find anywhere else or is he perfect for you in a way no one else is? if not, I don't think they are worth the effort it takes to rebuild the trust. How do you know they wouldn't do it again and that they only sexted? maybe they physically cheated too. it also depends if this was just a one off thing or happened many times? and how many people? and whether he/she came clean or you caught him/her.
but first I would advise you to just talk to them about this. Really try to find out why they felt the need to sext others? Did they feel guilty and if so why didn't that stop them? Did they not realise that they would be hurting you? did they ever think about you while send those messages? was it worth jeopardizing your relationship? how would they feel if you did the same? did they not feel it was wrong when they lied to you and cheated? if so then why not stop? how could you ever trust them not to do it again? what are they willing to do to build the trust and ensure it never happens again? you really need to asking these questions even though they might be hard or painful. his/her answers will tell you everything you need to.
this happened to a friend of mine. A girl (an acquaintance) told my friend that her bf asked the girl for nudes. The boyfriend completely denied it and sue checked out her snap chat and it was full of chats of asking loads of random girls for nudes and sexting. he apologised for lying and cheating they got back together for a few months before he started acting suspiciously and turns out he hadn't stopped doing it and had continued sexting girls. she broke up with him immediately and is much happier.
Honestly, if you can't bring yourself to ever forgive them and can't get rid of your resentment and can't see yourself trusting them, just broke up rather than dragging it out. Trust once broken is really hard to built again. Have they really done anything to show you that you can trust them? He/She really needs to earn your trust now. Because I have seen the cheater so many times just continues cheating. Besides at university when you have a LDR, trust is vital and without your relationship will never work out long term. I would advise a clean break for university- you will meet amazing people and will find someone who would never cheat on you on the first place. So why do you have to put up with this? Is he/she worth it? Are they the one? is it going anywhere? Are you honestly happier in a relationship with them or do you think you will be better off single? Is there something about your partner that you think you will never find anywhere else or is he perfect for you in a way no one else is? if not, I don't think they are worth the effort it takes to rebuild the trust. How do you know they wouldn't do it again and that they only sexted? maybe they physically cheated too. it also depends if this was just a one off thing or happened many times? and how many people? and whether he/she came clean or you caught him/her.
but first I would advise you to just talk to them about this. Really try to find out why they felt the need to sext others? Did they feel guilty and if so why didn't that stop them? Did they not realise that they would be hurting you? did they ever think about you while send those messages? was it worth jeopardizing your relationship? how would they feel if you did the same? did they not feel it was wrong when they lied to you and cheated? if so then why not stop? how could you ever trust them not to do it again? what are they willing to do to build the trust and ensure it never happens again? you really need to asking these questions even though they might be hard or painful. his/her answers will tell you everything you need to.
this is so true. such good advice thank you - think uni is gonna have to be the fresh start with this kind of stuff, maturity is really important and considering what you've said i'm not sure if a LDR would be the best option.. have heard the same from many of my friends but it's a really difficult decision to make
In my opinion alot would depend on the content of the message.
I discovered my girlfriend was doing that at the end of last summer.
She even set up a profile on a dating site and denied it was her.
When you lose that trust in someone it is time to walk away and find someone honest and genuine that you deserve.
She even set up a profile on a dating site and denied it was her.
When you lose that trust in someone it is time to walk away and find someone honest and genuine that you deserve.
I don't think it's cheating but that's just me. I think only sex with someone else is cheating. But if it's with someone they've never met then I don't class it as cheating. I've said it before and I'll say it again, people place monogamy way too high and its restrictive as heck.
But if you can't trust him, then end it. You need trust.
But if you can't trust him, then end it. You need trust.
Original post by Anonymous
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
Relationship without trust won't work out anymore. You should move on. And who knows maybe you'll find the right one for you once you entered uni.
Original post by Anonymous
I'll skip most of the grim details but I found out my partner had been sending sexual messages to other people and didn't tell me about it. We broke up after I found out and got back together a few months later, I can't figure out how to properly forgive them... most of the time it's okay but whenever we argue, which is a lot, I can't help but bring it up and cause more problems.
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
They seem to be genuinely sorry for what they've done but I still can't get it out of my head. They've really broken my trust and I'm not sure staying with them, so long as we keep fighting, is the best decision. Especially seeing as I'll be going to uni this September.
Wanted to know what other people thought about it...
I think the relationship ended when you found those messages. Horrid to accept, but it's the truth.
Is it worth stringing out a dead relationship for another few months? What will you get out of it? Only you can decide if it's worth it, but there's not much point in kidding yourself that he actually gives a **** about you and your emotional wellbeing.
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