Don't trust bf

And now I'm becoming quite paranoid. The mistrust comes from him being dishonest, inconsistent, and certain behaviours that showed he didn't like me. I don't think he has ever cheated. However I can't help be jealous of every person he likes more than me. It's crazy I know. I become very easily suspicious when he seems to lie, I don't ask what he's doing because I don't want to be controlling. I also don't voice this stuff to him

He'll lie about his intentions, which makes me question what true intentions he is hiding. He'll say unreasonable stuff like he has to go and get ready when his lecture is 1.5 hours time. Or say he needs 2.5 hours for lunch or dinner. And the fact he mostly doesn't tell me anything about his day makes me suspicious he's hiding things. He stopped talking to me late at night because he wants to sleep earlier, yet he'll stay up until 1/2am doing other stuff or talking to other people. If he wakes up in the night (I have insomnia so I'm awake a lot in the night) he'll never tell me. It just seems like he's avoiding me and hiding things. Today for example I go on whatsapp to say good morning and it says last seen at 4.30am and hasn't responded. So now I'm thinking who did he stay up until 4am talking to? He doesn't party or drink, supposedly. Someone help 😭

I used to be such a chill gf when I could believe he liked me and loved me

You don’t need to be paranoid. Confront him about this and if he’s still acting like a jack***, cut him off for your sake. You don’t need to become a stalker because your bf is treating you less than you should be. You deserve better

I feel like I'm overreacting though, like I've got nothing substantial, and he'll just say I'm being controlling

Although funnily enough, last Wednesday he said he missed his lectures because he over slept cos he slept late, so there is some pattern

You may not be wrong but you just don’t have concrete evidence or you may be completely wrong. Give it time though but if it’s affecting you, mentally, I think you should take a break or something.

And now I'm becoming quite paranoid. The mistrust comes from him being dishonest, inconsistent, and certain behaviours that showed he didn't like me. I don't think he has ever cheated. However I can't help be jealous of every person he likes more than me. It's crazy I know. I become very easily suspicious when he seems to lie, I don't ask what he's doing because I don't want to be controlling. I also don't voice this stuff to him

He'll lie about his intentions, which makes me question what true intentions he is hiding. He'll say unreasonable stuff like he has to go and get ready when his lecture is 1.5 hours time. Or say he needs 2.5 hours for lunch or dinner. And the fact he mostly doesn't tell me anything about his day makes me suspicious he's hiding things. He stopped talking to me late at night because he wants to sleep earlier, yet he'll stay up until 1/2am doing other stuff or talking to other people. If he wakes up in the night (I have insomnia so I'm awake a lot in the night) he'll never tell me. It just seems like he's avoiding me and hiding things. Today for example I go on whatsapp to say good morning and it says last seen at 4.30am and hasn't responded. So now I'm thinking who did he stay up until 4am talking to? He doesn't party or drink, supposedly. Someone help 😭

I used to be such a chill gf when I could believe he liked me and loved me

Sounds like you need to do some work on yourself by yourself if I am honest. You don't sound ready to be in a relationship and he doesn't sound like he is either.

Yup I never wanted to be in a relationship, I'm too anxious and emotional. My fault for saying yes. But we've been together a while now and I have strong feelings for him, but worries are eating away at me, it's hard to know what to do :/

You deserve sooo much better.

I can understand being suspicious, but you are looking into thinks way too much. Sometimes I say goodnight to people and proceed to be online because I needed to respond to a text or remembered something I need to tell someone. Why does he need to tell you if he wakes up? When I say goodnight to my boyfriend, and if I wake up, I won't message him again at 3am saying, "Oh, hi, I woke up" and then proceed to fall asleep 30 mins later. It just seems completely pointless.

If anything, I think what he wants is space. You sound like you're starting to suffocate him. You, too, sound like you need the space yourself.

I think you're really worrying yourself and making things worse. I don't reprimand you for being suspicious, I just definitely think you're accelerating how "bad" things are if you are getting so worked up like this. You need to take a step back.

Yeah, but having strong feelings for someone to the point where it's making you feel sick and paranoid is not healthy. This isn't a viable relationship even if he isn't up to anything. Work on yourself and healing whatever it is that is making you feel this way. Don't answer if you don't want to, but what was your childhood like? Any significant traumas?

Pretty normal, moved around a lot so I've got into the habit of being bad at keeping friends, **** with a guy 2 years ago, affected me a lot but I got over it eventually. I am quite cynical, it's hard to know when to trust someone (particularly in a romantic relationship) because they might just abuse that trust