S4SSY
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If you read my other post titled “I hate my job”, this post will probably make sense. I resigned from my job. I’ve been there for 5 months and I have had enough of the way I was being bullied and mistreated. Anyways the final straw for me was when my manager screamed at me for asking the supervisor what the cost related to for an invoice, apparently I ask too many questions and I should be more proactive. It annoyed me because the supervisor told me to ask him my question later on before he forgot, and now come to think of it I think he probably did it on purpose knowing my manager would react to me asking a question in front of her. So I kept my cool and later on that day when I got home, I had written my resignation email and told her I would be resigning with immediate effect - this was on 10/02/20. Since I am on probation I’m not sure what my notice period is, but at the same time I don’t have give them notice. I could just up and leave, which I did. Yes I probably should have stayed and tolerated their crap until my probation was over, but my mental health is much more important, and these people are draaaaaining beyond belief (cba to go into great detail) ... LONG STORY SHORT .. I received an email today from my manager telling me that she is disappointed to have received my resignation email and she would like for me to attend the meeting to discuss the reasons for me resigning as in my resignation email I had written that I was resigning because of the bullying and mistreatment. I also lied in the resignation email that I had accepted another job offer.... anyways... I haven’t responded to my managers email. Should I go to the meeting? Do you think she wants me back? Or is this part of the procedure? I’m not sure what I should do. I need to respond to her by tomorrow, so any advice...

Thanks
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the bear
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i would personally not go to the meeting or meet these horrible people ever again.
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MiaNova
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i would personally not go to the meeting or meet these horrible people ever again.
Agreed.
Ignore her
Move on
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by S4SSY)
If you read my other post titled “I hate my job”, this post will probably make sense. I resigned from my job. I’ve been there for 5 months and I have had enough of the way I was being bullied and mistreated. Anyways the final straw for me was when my manager screamed at me for asking the supervisor what the cost related to for an invoice, apparently I ask too many questions and I should be more proactive. It annoyed me because the supervisor told me to ask him my question later on before he forgot, and now come to think of it I think he probably did it on purpose knowing my manager would react to me asking a question in front of her. So I kept my cool and later on that day when I got home, I had written my resignation email and told her I would be resigning with immediate effect - this was on 10/02/20. Since I am on probation I’m not sure what my notice period is, but at the same time I don’t have give them notice. I could just up and leave, which I did. Yes I probably should have stayed and tolerated their crap until my probation was over, but my mental health is much more important, and these people are draaaaaining beyond belief (cba to go into great detail) ... LONG STORY SHORT .. I received an email today from my manager telling me that she is disappointed to have received my resignation email and she would like for me to attend the meeting to discuss the reasons for me resigning as in my resignation email I had told written that I was resigning because of the bullying and mistreatment. I also lied in the resignation email that I had accepted another job offer.... anyways... I haven’t responded to my managers email. Should I go to the meeting? Do you think she wants me back? Or is this part of the procedure? I’m not sure what I should do. I need to respond to her by tomorrow, so any advice...

Thanks
You made a serious claim about behaviours in the company, they have a duty to investigate. They can't investigate if you don't give them further details and help them understand the situations. It's up to you, do you want them to learn from your experience or not. They can't make you go in, and you can decline the offer.

You might want to focus more on your reference options. You probably need to find some alternative referee than this company.
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Toki the Dumdum
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Ditto the bear. It could well be part of procedure but even if they do want you back, you're still going to be working with and for them. They sound awful so I'd try not to waste anymore energy on them.
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S4SSY
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(Original post by threeportdrift)
You made a serious claim about behaviours in the company, they have a duty to investigate. They can't investigate if you don't give them further details and help them understand the situations. It's up to you, do you want them to learn from your experience or not. They can't make you go in, and you can decline the offer.

You might want to focus more on your reference options. You probably need to find some alternative referee than this company.
Good advice. I don’t owe them anything, but at the same time I need a good reference from them because I haven’t got much accounting experience. Also, they know about the way I feel because I had made a complaint in October about my supervisor being aggressive towards me, but I spoke with him one to one before I told my manager and he responded negatively and acted like a little brat gaslighting it on to me, and my manager made excuses for him saying “he gets like that sometimes” blah blah blah, because I was new (only there for a month) I just ignored him and shrugged of his behaviour because I thought he had personal issues and I don’t take his behaviour personal. Around November/December his aggression towards me and ONLY me got worse and I made a complaint to my manager and HR and this backfired because my manager started treating me like a b*tch afterwards. I left this alone and my manager, supervisor and HR started ganging up me so I had to take it further rather than just verbally expressing my complaints, I told them I was going to raise grievance against them blah blah blah, then they manipulated me into not doing it... then I left it alone. My complaints were on record, but they were not taken seriously because I hadn’t escalated it. As time went by, my manager and supervisor continued to be b*tchy and p*ssy towards me up until now and I’ve ignored their snide, childish behaviour and remarks, but the final straw was when she screamed at me as if I was a child. Deuces🖕
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by S4SSY)
Good advice. I don’t owe them anything, but at the same time I need a good reference from them because I haven’t got much accounting experience. Also, they know about the way I feel because I had made a complaint in October about my supervisor being aggressive towards me, but I spoke with him one to one before I told my manager and he responded negatively and acted like a little brat gaslighting it on to me, and my manager made excuses for him saying “he gets like that sometimes” blah blah blah, because I was new (only there for a month) I just ignored him and shrugged of his behaviour because I thought he had personal issues and I don’t take his behaviour personal. Around November/December his aggression towards me and ONLY me got worse and I made a complaint to my manager and HR and this backfired because my manager started treating me like a b*tch afterwards. I left this alone and my manager, supervisor and HR started ganging up me so I had to take it further rather than just verbally expressing my complaints, I told them I was going to take raise grievance against them blah blah blah, then they manipulated me into not doing it... then I left it alone. My complaints were on record, but they were not taken seriously because I hadn’t escalated it. As time went by, my manager and supervisor continued to be b*tchy and p*ssy towards me up until now and I’ve ignored their snide, childish behaviour and remarks, but the final straw was when she screamed at me as if I was a child. Deuces🖕
I'm afraid it sounds like you've burnt your bridges as far as a decent reference goes. If you've not managed to establish and maintain a professional relationship with your Supervisor, Manager or HR you've pretty much run out of reference options. You can either leave it to chance, or, if you do go in and give them some feedback, you can also ask what any reference might say - but it will be an awkward conversation and probably not an easy answer.
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S4SSY
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(Original post by threeportdrift)
I'm afraid it sounds like you've burnt your bridges as far as a decent reference goes. If you've not managed to establish and maintain a professional relationship with your Supervisor, Manager or HR you've pretty much run out of reference options. You can either leave it to chance, or, if you do go in and give them some feedback, you can also ask what any reference might say - but it will be an awkward conversation and probably not an easy answer.
I understand, but why would they want to me see. Their behaviour baffles me. They claim I’m not performing well etc etc, but every time things escalate it seems as if they want to keep me on. Because I resigned, most companies would say “good riddance”, but I don’t know with these guys. They say all these negative things about me, but then they want me to stay? This goes to show that their the problem, not me. They’ve had several opportunities to get rid of me, and now I’ve made it easier for them by resigning, they’re still chasing me. I cannot catch a break with these people.
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Mustafa0605
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You should meet with your manager’s manager and explain what has led you to quitting e.g verbal abuse, bad treatment. That’s a very good revenge lol
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Spanx
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(Original post by S4SSY)
If you read my other post titled “I hate my job”, this post will probably make sense. I resigned from my job. I’ve been there for 5 months and I have had enough of the way I was being bullied and mistreated. Anyways the final straw for me was when my manager screamed at me for asking the supervisor what the cost related to for an invoice, apparently I ask too many questions and I should be more proactive. It annoyed me because the supervisor told me to ask him my question later on before he forgot, and now come to think of it I think he probably did it on purpose knowing my manager would react to me asking a question in front of her. So I kept my cool and later on that day when I got home, I had written my resignation email and told her I would be resigning with immediate effect - this was on 10/02/20. Since I am on probation I’m not sure what my notice period is, but at the same time I don’t have give them notice. I could just up and leave, which I did. Yes I probably should have stayed and tolerated their crap until my probation was over, but my mental health is much more important, and these people are draaaaaining beyond belief (cba to go into great detail) ... LONG STORY SHORT .. I received an email today from my manager telling me that she is disappointed to have received my resignation email and she would like for me to attend the meeting to discuss the reasons for me resigning as in my resignation email I had written that I was resigning because of the bullying and mistreatment. I also lied in the resignation email that I had accepted another job offer.... anyways... I haven’t responded to my managers email. Should I go to the meeting? Do you think she wants me back? Or is this part of the procedure? I’m not sure what I should do. I need to respond to her by tomorrow, so any advice...

Thanks
Unless you were working for a small firm with no HR department and no policies, then an exit interview is fairly standard. If there is bullying or harrassment rather than forcing employees to leave it gives a company a chance to look at the reason for people leaving and fix the issue than spend time and money hiring staff only to see them leave.

It is a formal record of your leaving and the company's HR department should be reviewing the notes from the meeting. You should definitely go, you should ask for a copy of the minutes from the meeting and you should ask that it is conducted by someone from HR or at least not the manager who bullied you into leaving. Time to grow up Sass and live in a world where even your wicked bosses have bosses and have to abide by some form of acceptable behaviour.

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S4SSY
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(Original post by Spanx)
Unless you were working for a small firm with no HR department and no policies, then an exit interview is fairly standard. If there is bullying or harrassment rather than forcing employees to leave it gives a company a chance to look at the reason for people leaving and fix the issue than spend time and money hiring staff only to see them leave.

It is a formal record of your leaving and the company's HR department should be reviewing the notes from the meeting. You should definitely go, you should ask for a copy of the minutes from the meeting and you should ask that it is conducted by someone from HR or at least not the manager who bullied you into leaving. Time to grow up Sass and live in a world where even your wicked bosses have bosses and have to abide by some form of acceptable behaviour.

It is a small company and HR is pretty much non-existent! But there is an hr manager if that makes sense, but she isn’t officially one. This company runs poorly in terms of supporting employee well-being. During the meeting could I be asked to stay because their very manipulative. What usually happens at exit interviews? If my manager has a b*tchy attitude I’m going to up and leave gracefully because I’m sick of tolerating her poor attitude. I already a have feeling that things will go left.
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Spanx
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(Original post by S4SSY)
It is a small company and HR is pretty much non-existent! But there is an hr manager if that makes sense, but she isn’t officially one. This company runs poorly in terms of supporting employee well-being. During the meeting could I be asked to stay because their very manipulative. What usually happens at exit interviews? If my manager has a b*tchy attitude I’m going to up and leave gracefully because I’m sick of tolerating her poor attitude. I already have feeling that this will go left.
No one will want an employee who isn't motivated to be there, if they ask you to stay it will/should be as a result of changes they promise to make that will make working there a better experience. No one will ask you to stay for the sake of having a disgruntled employee who has flagged bullying/harrasment only for the company to condone it, even implicitly. That's why you ask for it to be conducted by someone impartial and that's why you request a copy of the meeting minutes. If they don't agree with that, feel free to not bother going.
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ajmx
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Ok so not massively the same but I attended a job interview, the woman interviewing me was on the phone for 50 mins whilst I was waiting to be interviewed, i went out and asked how much longer in a polite manner and the other girl at the desk said "she'll be there when she's ready" then proceeded to "*****" about me for coming out and asking with the interviewer and started laughing - I guess they didnt realise their walls are very thin. I was interviewed for around 5 mins and was in the establishment for over an hour. I left feeling so angry and disrespected at how i'd been treated and I thought about leaving it and just taking it as a lesson. I was even more mad at myself for not getting up and leaving.

I complained to head office and had the area manager called me the same day and literally she was the nicest woman, she was mortified how i'd been treated and wanted to offer me a job at the other branch (this job was a care job so had branches all round the north). She told me she needed people who were tough enough to say when professionalism is not being upheld, especially in jobs such as care and working with vulnerable people. She asked to meet up and talk about how great the company is and for me to not feel as though those at that centre were a reflection of the company.

I felt already disrespected and politely declined her lovely offer but she assured me that the manager who interviewed me would be dealt with and the other woman would also be spoken too. I felt so much better at my little "win" and the fact bullies didnt win. We're all here to do a job but respect for eachother goes a long way. If you feel confident enough I would go, but take someone with you, don't let them win!

To add, it was a personal call not one regarding the business (thin walls, 50 mins wait, I had time to earwig)!

Sorry for how long this is also!
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S4SSY
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(Original post by Mustafa0605)
You should meet with your manager’s manager and explain what has led you to quitting e.g verbal abuse, bad treatment. That’s a very good revenge lol
It’s a small company and my managers manager would probably be the director of the company. She’s an asset to the company, so he’ll probably have a small talk with her if worst comes to worst. But I highly doubt disciplinary action.
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S4SSY
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(Original post by ajmx)
Ok so not massively the same but I attended a job interview, the woman interviewing me was on the phone for 50 mins whilst I was waiting to be interviewed, i went out and asked how much longer in a polite manner and the other girl at the desk said "she'll be there when she's ready" then proceeded to "*****" about me for coming out and asking with the interviewer and started laughing - I guess they didnt realise their walls are very thin. I was interviewed for around 5 mins and was in the establishment for over an hour. I left feeling so angry and disrespected at how i'd been treated and I thought about leaving it and just taking it as a lesson. I was even more mad at myself for not getting up and leaving.

I complained to head office and had the area manager called me the same day and literally she was the nicest woman, she was mortified how i'd been treated and wanted to offer me a job at the other branch (this job was a care job so had branches all round the north). She told me she needed people who were tough enough to say when professionalism is not being upheld, especially in jobs such as care and working with vulnerable people. She asked to meet up and talk about how great the company is and for me to not feel as though those at that centre were a reflection of the company.

I felt already disrespected and politely declined her lovely offer but she assured me that the manager who interviewed me would be dealt with and the other woman would also be spoken too. I felt so much better at my little "win" and the fact bullies didnt win. We're all here to do a job but respect for eachother goes a long way. If you feel confident enough I would go, but take someone with you, don't let them win!

To add, it was a personal call not one regarding the business (thin walls, 50 mins wait, I had time to earwig)!

Sorry for how long this is also!
Why can’t people be nice. I’m actually shocked my manager is adamant about having this meeting with me. I used to sit in the office with my manager, supervisor and “HR manager” and during my time I’ve heard about employees quitting without giving notice. We all get an email to say “so and so is no longer part of the business”, straight after they’ve either disappeared or completed their notice period. They’ve b*tched about the people who have literally just up and left and said good riddance, they’re easily replaceable, they’re not hardworking etc etc., so I’m confused as to why I’m being called into the meeting and why they can’t just leave me alone to move on? I’ve said I can no longer work in a toxic environment, so why can’t they LEAVE ME ALONE! It feels like I’m the scapegoat for all their problems. If I was really such an incompetent employee they would have just let me go and sent an email to everyone in the business informing them that I am no longer part of the business. Weird sh*t. I’ll go ass lick them because I need a good reference.
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S4SSY
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(Original post by Spanx)
No one will want an employee who isn't motivated to be there, if they ask you to stay it will/should be as a result of changes they promise to make that will make working there a better experience. No one will ask you to stay for the sake of having a disgruntled employee who has flagged bullying/harrasment only for the company to condone it, even implicitly. That's why you ask for it to be conducted by someone impartial and that's why you request a copy of the meeting minutes. If they don't agree with that, feel free to not bother going.
Thanks for your advice, I’ve requested for someone neutral to attend the meeting. I’ll also ensure I’ll get copies of the notes from the meeting. With that said, I will need a good reference from these peasants. I’ll attend and sweet talk them into giving me one ... loool awks
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threeportdrift
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(Original post by S4SSY)
I understand, but why would they want to me see. Their behaviour baffles me. They claim I’m not performing well etc etc, but every time things escalate it seems as if they want to keep me on. Because I resigned, most companies would say “good riddance”, but I don’t know with these guys. They say all these negative things about me, but then they want me to stay? This goes to show that their the problem, not me. They’ve had several opportunities to get rid of me, and now I’ve made it easier for them by resigning, they’re still chasing me. I cannot catch a break with these people.
I'm afraid your posts increasingly show how out of tune you are with business dynamics. You made a serious claim about your experience as an employee in your resignation letter. Any decent company tries to follow up those claims and investigate, what they have done is 100% normal for any decent company. All they have done is outed themselves as a company that follows best HR practice, no matter how easy it would be to let it go. That puts all the rest of your judgements about the organisation in a different light. You have a single minded determination to interpret everything they do in the negative. I'm afraid their email demonstrates something quite different, at least in this case.

You made the claim in a formal letter to the company that you were subject to bullying and mistreatment. You either go back and describe that in detail to them, or you bottle it and get written off as a fundamentally disgruntled employee who groundlessly complained about everything without backing it up. It's the grown-up word now, deal with it in a grown-up fashion.
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ANM775
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(Original post by S4SSY)
Thanks for your advice, I’ve requested for someone neutral to attend the meeting. I’ll also ensure I’ll get copies of the notes from the meeting. With that said, I will need a good reference from these peasants. I’ll attend and sweet talk them into giving me one ... loool awks
you're not going to get a "good" reference at this point. you seem very naive.

They don't like you, and clearly don't like your work. That is obvious!

when you interview at the next place, be honest and say you left due to bullying. I don't think most firms are in the habit of giving "bad" references, what they'll most likely do is just confirm the dates you worked there and nothing else. The bullying reason you gave will explain why they are only confirming you worked there and not giving you a "good" reference.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by ANM775)
when you interview at the next place, be honest and say you left due to bullying. I don't think most firms are in the habit of giving "bad" references, what they'll most likely do is just confirm the dates you worked there and nothing else. The bullying reason you gave will explain why they are only confirming you worked there and not giving you a "good" reference.
Personally I'd be careful how I phrased that, ideally I'd avoid the word bullying all together, esp as they may ask further questions with a potential for unprofessional answers. Bad mouthing your old employer in interviews often backfires.

I'd go with something like 'I was regrettably compelled to lodge a complaint which I didn't feel was resolved appropriately and therefore tendered my resignation'
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S4SSY
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(Original post by threeportdrift)
I'm afraid your posts increasingly show how out of tune you are with business dynamics. You made a serious claim about your experience as an employee in your resignation letter. Any decent company tries to follow up those claims and investigate, what they have done is 100% normal for any decent company. All they have done is outed themselves as a company that follows best HR practice, no matter how easy it would be to let it go. That puts all the rest of your judgements about the organisation in a different light. You have a single minded determination to interpret everything they do in the negative. I'm afraid their email demonstrates something quite different, at least in this case.

You made the claim in a formal letter to the company that you were subject to bullying and mistreatment. You either go back and describe that in detail to them, or you bottle it and get written off as a fundamentally disgruntled employee who groundlessly complained about everything without backing it up. It's the grown-up word now, deal with it in a grown-up fashion.
This is exactly why you should read my other post. I’ve replied to other posts explaining the situation in detail. I WAS in fact subject to victimisation during the entirety of my employment, and I’ve provided evidence several times to back up my claims but I have never escalated the case further because my employees managed to either emotionally manipulate me into thinking things would change. However, I did express to my manager that if the environment continued to be toxic I would resign and she understood. Also I do not understand what you mean by I am “out of tune” with the company? I’m aware that is this standard procedure, but at the same time you’re forgetting that I have worked there, and aforementioned I did say that I have seen and heard of previous staff members resigning without notice to which a follow up interview wasn’t put into place (trust me I would know about these things because the HR manager gossips and b*tches about everyone and everything to my manager whilst I’m siting there).
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