My boyfriend said this to me? Do I have a right to be upset? Watch

Honeyboo20
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We were talking about his hygiene for certain reasons and then he turned around and said Im the one we need to worry you’re the one that slept around. I was going through a rough time a few years ago and make reckless decisions. I’m upset and hurt. I’ve been abused so much in the past, is this something worth breaking up over?
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anosmianAcrimony
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You definitely have the right to be upset; it was a low blow and it's so much better to resolve differences without resorting to that kind of thing.

It's for you to decide whether it's worth breaking up over. If it was just a one-time slip-up then I personally wouldn't, but if it's part of a pattern of saying nasty things then I definitely would.
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squeakysquirrel
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(Original post by Honeyboo20)
We were talking about his hygiene for certain reasons and then he turned around and said Im the one we need to worry you’re the one that slept around. I was going through a rough time a few years ago and make reckless decisions. I’m upset and hurt. I’ve been abused so much in the past, is this something worth breaking up over?
This will be the rod he uses to beat you with in the future. The end is on the cards
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999tigger
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(Original post by Honeyboo20)
We were talking about his hygiene for certain reasons and then he turned around and said Im the one we need to worry you’re the one that slept around. I was going through a rough time a few years ago and make reckless decisions. I’m upset and hurt. I’ve been abused so much in the past, is this something worth breaking up over?
Up to you. How long a couple and how serious are you plus what ages?
If he knows about your fragile background, then you have got someone who is willing to use that against you, when they want an argument.
It depends how hurt and you really dont have to justify yourself to him about what you did previously.
Be interesting to know the above, but I would say:
1. Let him go.
2. Talk to him and tell him how hurtful you found his comments.
3. Go on a break and decide what you want to do in a week or two, then dump him or not.
For me I would go for 1 if I was clear and he really was out of order 2. If I was upset but wanted to make a good decisions having thought about it plus it gives him time to take the initiative.

Its a very immature, selfish and thoughtless answer imo and he knew what he was doing. Do you want a bf like that?
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Honeyboo20
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Hi, thank you for commenting. I hung up the phone and he called back instantly apologising and saying he shouldn’t have said it. We’ve been together almost 2 years. We’re both 21. He is normally a sweet guy, and we almost never fight. I think because of my past abuse I don’t know what’s normal. I feel kind of numb towards it, I don’t know if that makes sense but I hope it does.
Thank you for commenting
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999tigger
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(Original post by Honeyboo20)
Hi, thank you for commenting. I hung up the phone and he called back instantly apologising and saying he shouldn’t have said it. We’ve been together almost 2 years. We’re both 21. He is normally a sweet guy, and we almost never fight. I think because of my past abuse I don’t know what’s normal. I feel kind of numb towards it, I don’t know if that makes sense but I hope it does.
Thank you for commenting
Its a very nasty thing to say, even if he felt offended when you were discussing his hygiene (no context, but can guess).
I would put money on it and agree with squirrel that he will use it again. Even as a one off its not appropriate especially if he knows how difficult your past was. It will always be there that he believes he has some superiority. You will probably give it another try, but I wouldnt put money on you lasting or him being worth it. Not because it was so nasty, but more long term he was weak and decided to hurt you, which means he has always known that is there in reserve. He is immature and unsupportive when it comes down to it. Hopefully you realise you can do better.
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Honeyboo20)
Hi, thank you for commenting. I hung up the phone and he called back instantly apologising and saying he shouldn’t have said it. We’ve been together almost 2 years. We’re both 21. He is normally a sweet guy, and we almost never fight. I think because of my past abuse I don’t know what’s normal. I feel kind of numb towards it, I don’t know if that makes sense but I hope it does.
Thank you for commenting
If he seems genuinely sorry and how he acted was out of character, I'd probably try to put it behind me and move on. Obviously if he does say something similar again then that's something you'll have to deal with. I'm not excusing what he's done but we all say things we don't mean in the heat of the moment, it's only if these things become a pattern or aren't rectified that I would be majorly concerned.
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Dunnig Kruger
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(Original post by Honeyboo20)
Hi, thank you for commenting. I hung up the phone and he called back instantly apologising and saying he shouldn’t have said it. We’ve been together almost 2 years. We’re both 21. He is normally a sweet guy, and we almost never fight. I think because of my past abuse I don’t know what’s normal. I feel kind of numb towards it, I don’t know if that makes sense but I hope it does.
Thank you for commenting
It was a lovers tiff. People say horrible things in the heat of the moment.

With this NOT being a part of his normal everyday behaviour, let it go and carry on.

If he says, on average two really horrible things to you per year, then he is in fact a great boyfriend when it comes to how he talks to you.

Nobody's perfect.

Keep calm and carry on with him. He is a wonderful guy.
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