Anonymous #1
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My bf doesn't orgasm when he has sex with me. He said about oh it's important to lose your virginity with someone you love and have sex with someone you love, but he basically said sex with me was bad, makes some excuses about it's boring cos it's one position and one motion (er same with any oral sex or masturbation!!!) Then he wants to try a position that's just ****ing, not seeing my face, not love making it makes me really sad everytime we attempt to have sex and I can't help thinking about it at random times too. By this point, I would rather have sex with a desperate guy who I don't like but orgasms, than with my bf who supposedly loves me and is supposedly attracted but obviously doesn't want nice sex or sex with me or has some **** problem.

How do I talk to him about this? Because the psychological effects on me are just ****, and it's not a normal on his part, and we never even talk about the problem.
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Mitch666
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Well, if you two can communicate, have him layoff the porn and masturbation for a week, he will ***. This actually will probably be a very big challenge for him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mitch666)
Well, if you two can communicate, have him layoff the porn and masturbation for a week, he will ***. This actually will probably be a very big challenge for him.
Well once we had sex and he told me he had 'saved himself for me' so for 5 days before he hadn't masturbated, and he STILL didn't orgasm, like what's wrong with me??
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Mitch666
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Nothing is wrong with you. This is his problem. SSRI use can sometimes completely eliminate orgasms. In males and females. But the most common problem in males is the use of pornography and masturbating to this pornography. They desensitizing themselves to being able to respond in normal sexual situations. Honestly, he is probably being untruthful About his use of pornography. And masturbation. It is a very hard thing to stop.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Mitch666)
Nothing is wrong with you. This is his problem. SSRI use can sometimes completely eliminate orgasms. In males and females. But the most common problem in males is the use of pornography and masturbating to this pornography. They desensitizing themselves to being able to respond in normal sexual situations. Honestly, he is probably being untruthful About his use of pornography. And masturbation. It is a very hard thing to stop.
Thank you for this, I don't think he's on any medication or takes drugs. I thought it was due to porn and masturbation too, I have reason to believe he lied about not watching porn in our relationship. How can I speak to him about this?
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well once we had sex and he told me he had 'saved himself for me' so for 5 days before he hadn't masturbated, and he STILL didn't orgasm, like what's wrong with me??
He seems to have a problem, as suggested by others above. But you shouldn't dictate to him the sole position you find acceptable. Sex is about give and take.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ageshallnot)
He seems to have a problem, as suggested by others above. But you shouldn't dictate to him the sole position you find acceptable. Sex is about give and take.
No there was just one he suggested that I didn't want to try, and I thought missionary was where you start off, if he can't orgasm in a position that's meant to be easy for a guy then he's not going to when it favours women etc
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Anonymous)
No there was just one he suggested that I didn't want to try, and I thought missionary was where you start off, if he can't orgasm in a position that's meant to be easy for a guy then he's not going to when it favours women etc
Why should you "start off" with missionary??? There's no rules about this. Perhaps he will orgasm in a position that HE finds exciting.
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emily_000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My bf doesn't orgasm when he has sex with me. He said about oh it's important to lose your virginity with someone you love and have sex with someone you love, but he basically said sex with me was bad, makes some excuses about it's boring cos it's one position and one motion (er same with any oral sex or masturbation!!!) Then he wants to try a position that's just ****ing, not seeing my face, not love making it makes me really sad everytime we attempt to have sex and I can't help thinking about it at random times too. By this point, I would rather have sex with a desperate guy who I don't like but orgasms, than with my bf who supposedly loves me and is supposedly attracted but obviously doesn't want nice sex or sex with me or has some **** problem.

How do I talk to him about this? Because the psychological effects on me are just ****, and it's not a normal on his part, and we never even talk about the problem.
why don't you want to try the new position? Nothing wrong with trying new things. You have to be open minded. Something that you're not.

Watch a po** with him and try new positions. Yes even positions that he cannot see your face.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by emily_000)
why don't you want to try the new position? Nothing wrong with trying new things. You have to be open minded. Something that you're not.

Watch a po** with him and try new positions. Yes even positions that he cannot see your face.
Because it's doggy style, and that's completely unarousing for me, if I'm not aroused that's just gonna hurt me, what do i do, just stare at the wall in pain? If he can only get off without seeing my face then he has a problem with me, and shouldn't be with me, and I personally wish not to watch porn
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ageshallnot)
Why should you "start off" with missionary??? There's no rules about this. Perhaps he will orgasm in a position that HE finds exciting.
I just thought that was simple, easy and quite intimate, rather than just my bf ****ing my vagina. To my knowledge, most guys can orgasm from missionary
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emily_000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because it's doggy style, and that's completely unarousing for me, if I'm not aroused that's just gonna hurt me, what do i do, just stare at the wall in pain? If he can only get off without seeing my face then he has a problem with me, and shouldn't be with me, and I personally wish not to watch porn
I love Dogg* style. In my opinion, try it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by emily_000)
I love Dogg* style. In my opinion, try it.
I feel self conscious about my ******* 😂 may I ask why you love it?
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Precious Illusions
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(Original post by ageshallnot)
He seems to have a problem, as suggested by others above. But you shouldn't dictate to him the sole position you find acceptable. Sex is about give and take.
This. Why not try getting on top OP? You can still look at his face then. Dunno why you're against other positions though, it's important to explore in a relationship. I'd get bored if it was always the same too.
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emily_000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel self conscious about my ******* 😂 may I ask why you love it?
because it makes me feel good.AND DON'T TRY ANA*.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Precious Illusions)
This. Why not try getting on top OP? You can still look at his face then. Dunno why you're against other positions though, it's important to explore in a relationship. I'd get bored if it was always the same too.
We have tried me on top, cowgirl, he kept complaining he felt his **** was being bent in a certain direction but didn't know which, so that didn't work out. I don't mind trying other positions, except I don't get why he can't orgasm from missionary
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Anonymous)
We have tried me on top, cowgirl, he kept complaining he felt his **** was being bent in a certain direction but didn't know which, so that didn't work out. I don't mind trying other positions, except I don't get why he can't orgasm from missionary
That sounds like the pair of you need to practise more. Seriously. One other point... Do you orgasm with him?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ageshallnot)
That sounds like the pair of you need to practise more. Seriously. One other point... Do you orgasm with him?
Not by sex but otherwise very easily
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not by sex but otherwise very easily
Perhaps he is picking up on your lack of arousal?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ageshallnot)
Perhaps he is picking up on your lack of arousal?
The first few times I was enthusiastic and happy to try stuff. Tho now I'm not very keen because he doesn't like it, it makes me feel depressed, self conscious and unattractive
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