My Life so Far From High School to Psychosis Watch
I get to College and i want to like all teens become a Scientist but this is not possible and i come to do A Levels in Law, Business, Sociology and English language and literature which i dropped English language and literature in the second year as i got a bad grade. We typically do this. I then left College with a B in Law and C in Business and Sociology. I then go to a Russell Group University.
When i get to the University i do good in my first year and scrape just about in my second and third years. I procrastinated a lot went to Cinemas joined debate or other clubs only to get kicked out for being a nuisance. I left University with just a Pass and non honours in my degree. Yes i went to the graduation ceremony and i was the laughing stock of my family but the world did not see me for my degree and instead looked at my looks and would rather think me of a Zoolander than a student of Knowledge.
After that in 2014, my mom passed away from breast cancer in 2016. Then i got psychotic episodes of Rapes taking place. I was told after a bad phone call with the police to go to a mental hospital and register there. After that they took me for so far 4 years and 2 more counting under there wing. I became a patient and regularly visit them monthly and take my injections which are mandatory compared with the usual dose of medicine that does not take place i have to take an injection in the buttocks now.
I have not worked a job since 2018 or 2019 where i worked in a law firm for a few days and did not like it at all. I work for my family business and i make a little money but i also get Universal Credit from Jobseekers which makes me look for a proper job in the mean time. I have no Friends and meet a care co ordinator monthly. I weigh 115 kg's and have a binge eating problem. I suffer from Social Anxienty, Manic Depression and Schizophrenia sometimes. But the Doctors say they will discharge me in 2 years time from November 2019 to November 2021. Which i think is fair. But i have no Job. My degree is a near fail. I lost my mom and i liver with my brother rather than my dad who is barely capable of taking care of himself. Can anyone help me?
When you are in that state it is hard to look forward and it sounds like you are in that position now. For me, I needed to re-build my confidence and self-belief. You may not need to do something big at this stage, it may be simply getting out of the house to go for a walk once a week, then building it up to once a day etc. Maybe then starting to find a hobby which you enjoy, maybe start to look at mixing with other people you get on with. There are some befriending agencies which can help with that. Maybe you can look at joining activity groups for those with mental illness e.g. sport groups, or art groups. For me I started to spend time at a badminton group run by my CMHT once a week which helped me start to meet others and build my confidence. After a period of time I started to volunteer once a week at a local mental health charity - which helped me build my confidence further. After around a year I wanted to start to look at work, however, was unsure what I would qualify for. I happened to see a job vacancy for a peer support worker, and managed to get this for a few hours a week, and built it up over time until it was near full time.
I met loads of new people at this job and kept building my confidence. I was still struggling with my mental health, but I had a purpose to try and push on. I was persuaded by the people I work with to look at studying again, and I decided to study Social Work. It was a difficult 3 years but I was happy to finally qualify. Even since qualifying and practising as a social worker, I still struggle at times, but I have more motivation to try and keep myself well. I'm looking at doing my Approved Mental Health Professional training next year which is another motivation to stay well so I can pursue this training.
That's just my story and everyone is different. I think the first step is to build your confidence and try and find what you enjoy and what makes you happy - this will be the thing that makes you get up and do your best everyday. That could be the smallest thing - completing your favourite walk - or something bigger - doing your dream job.
Join clubs, meet ups to meet new people and make friends and also support circles.
Also you can volunteer, email companies and work your way up.
You can phone the samiritans on 116 123 and chat to mind online.