I don’t think I’m religious anymore... Watch

Anonymous #1
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I’m a Hindu but that’s only because my entire family is and so I am as well. I mean I do believe in Hindu gods and occasionally pray but I know absolutely nothing about the religion and nor do I personally feel like I need to pray, I just do it because my parents tell me to.
Like I know most of the gods and some stories but feel no need to pray every day or go to the temple or even learn any of the hyms....
My family aren’t particularly and by that I mean my parents and sister (rest of them are though) and so, I never really got into praying or anything like that, I mean my parents do pray every day and my dad fasts and stuff but I’ve never prayed because I wanted to and have never held a fast
Idk I’m just struggling to know whether or not I’m a Hindu anymore like I believe in the gods but I don’t partake in any religious activity out of choice, but when I am made to, I do feel more peaceful but would never do it out of choice. I don’t even have a photo or statue of any god in my uni room...
I honestly know more about Christianity than I do about my own religion and when I realised that I was shocked and couldn’t help but think am I even Hindu any more. I don’t want to leave the religion or anything but at the same time don’t do anything religious unless im made to.....
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londonmyst
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That's fine.
You have chosen to believe in some elements of hinduism without being very religious.

You have the freedom to choose how you live your life and what type of future you want.
It is your right to make your own decisions about whether you believe in any religion, which one you choose to believe in and how you want to practice your beliefs.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m a Hindu but that’s only because my entire family is and so I am as well. I mean I do believe in Hindu gods and occasionally pray but I know absolutely nothing about the religion and nor do I personally feel like I need to pray, I just do it because my parents tell me to.
Like I know most of the gods and some stories but feel no need to pray every day or go to the temple or even learn any of the hyms....
My family aren’t particularly and by that I mean my parents and sister (rest of them are though) and so, I never really got into praying or anything like that, I mean my parents do pray every day and my dad fasts and stuff but I’ve never prayed because I wanted to and have never held a fast
Idk I’m just struggling to know whether or not I’m a Hindu anymore like I believe in the gods but I don’t partake in any religious activity out of choice, but when I am made to, I do feel more peaceful but would never do it out of choice. I don’t even have a photo or statue of any god in my uni room...
I honestly know more about Christianity than I do about my own religion and when I realised that I was shocked and couldn’t help but think am I even Hindu any more. I don’t want to leave the religion or anything but at the same time don’t do anything religious unless im made to.....
I think I'm the same. I'm a hindu and I take part in festivals etc. but I've never found the need to personally pray to God or anything, maybe because I'm still young and I still have a lot to discover when it comes to what I believe in. I like my religion and culture but I don't consider myself an active member of the community if you get what I mean. Honestly I think it will become clearer as you get older.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think I'm the same. I'm a hindu and I take part in festivals etc. but I've never found the need to personally pray to God or anything, maybe because I'm still young and I still have a lot to discover when it comes to what I believe in. I like my religion and culture but I don't consider myself an active member of the community if you get what I mean. Honestly I think it will become clearer as you get older.
That’s exsctly me! Like I love the religion and culture but don’t feel an urge to be an active member of it
There’s also things like drinking or sex before marriage which are considered wrong in Hinduism but I personally wouldn’t really mind going against it and doing that. I think the fact that I was okay with sex before marriage was the first time I doubted whether or not I was the ‘right’ kind of Hindu and as I got older I’m much more confortable with the idea of sex before marriage (even though I haven’t done it) and that put me further into doubt
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Anonymous #1
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I’ve also made out with many people on nights out and I know that’s frowned upon but is that more of a cultural ‘sin’ than a religious one??
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Anonymous #3
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I am in a similar situation. I am born and raised in a Sikh family and my dad’s side has been a staunch follower of the religion and my mum’s side hasn’t been that less. I have all respect for my religion and its teachings but I don’t really consider myself a strong supporter of the religion. I mean I have cut my beard and have had some partial haircuts ie my hair is still long but just about shoulder length because I go to a hairdresser for a haircut every now and then. I don’t wear a turban because my head genuinely starts hurting even if I tie it as loose as possible. My family and relatives drink alcohol and eat meat which is clearly forbidden in Sikhism but they still wear turban and that’s what actually bamboozles me, if we are following a religion, shouldn’t we follow all of it and not just for show?
I hope I am able to get a shorter haircut soon but it’ll have to be a bit slowly since I don’t want my family to get a shock straightaway. I have believed that if God loves each of his children, he wouldn’t want them to follow a different set of rules just so that he can love them but rather be a good person and be a responsible citizen of the world and be a role model for others.
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Anonymous #1
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Like there’s stuff I’ve done (like drink, smoke, kissing, going out etc.) which I don’t tell my parents. My mum is always lecturing me on how girls in India (I live in the UK) behave and judges me a lot for not being like them but the thing is some of the stuff I’ve done genuinely makes me feel guilty for being a Hindu or even Indian sometimes even though I enjoy it quite a lot, I just can’t help thinking about what my mum would say if she ever found out and I hate that I do that because it then makes me feel like a really bad daughter even though I’m just trying to enjoy myself whilst I can
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Like there’s stuff I’ve done (like drink, smoke, kissing, going out etc.) which I don’t tell my parents. My mum is always lecturing me on how girls in India (I live in the UK) behave and judges me a lot for not being like them but the thing is some of the stuff I’ve done genuinely makes me feel guilty for being a Hindu or even Indian sometimes even though I enjoy it quite a lot, I just can’t help thinking about what my mum would say if she ever found out and I hate that I do that because it then makes me feel like a really bad daughter even though I’m just trying to enjoy myself whilst I can
Yeah I get it. And I couldn’t relate much. I’ve been out drinking a lot while I tell my parents I’m just going for the social, I’ve smoked but my parents definitely don’t know about and if they know, I’ll definitely be out of the house in no time I believe. I’ve never talked about kissing or anything with my parents but I think (and hope) they’ll be cool with it but if I tell them about having sex with someone, I think that might be a big deal for them.
See, it’s clear and I get it, I’m living in the UK as well with Indian parents and it’s pretty much clear that they are overprotective about us. This is because they have been raised in a comparatively different society. And if you know, Indian society is a bit overprotective and that’s what our parents are actually like. They protect us because they don’t want us to get out of hands. When I’m with my ‘white’ friends, I’m so jealous how they drink in front of their parents or introduce their girlfriends in front of their family like how normal it is. I can never imagine doing that in front of my parents definitely. But it is what it is, once you start living on your own, you can live by your own set of rules, at least that’s what my mum has told me 😂. But at the moment, it’s best we respect what our parents want from us and let them be happy. Doesn’t matter if you’ve smoked/kissed/been drunk, try your best to hide it and the best way to do that is to never bring up a conversation of that context in front of them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I get it. And I couldn’t relate much. I’ve been out drinking a lot while I tell my parents I’m just going for the social, I’ve smoked but my parents definitely don’t know about and if they know, I’ll definitely be out of the house in no time I believe. I’ve never talked about kissing or anything with my parents but I think (and hope) they’ll be cool with it but if I tell them about having sex with someone, I think that might be a big deal for them.
See, it’s clear and I get it, I’m living in the UK as well with Indian parents and it’s pretty much clear that they are overprotective about us. This is because they have been raised in a comparatively different society. And if you know, Indian society is a bit overprotective and that’s what our parents are actually like. They protect us because they don’t want us to get out of hands. When I’m with my ‘white’ friends, I’m so jealous how they drink in front of their parents or introduce their girlfriends in front of their family like how normal it is. I can never imagine doing that in front of my parents definitely. But it is what it is, once you start living on your own, you can live by your own set of rules, at least that’s what my mum has told me 😂. But at the moment, it’s best we respect what our parents want from us and let them be happy. Doesn’t matter if you’ve smoked/kissed/been drunk, try your best to hide it and the best way to do that is to never bring up a conversation of that context in front of them.
Thing is that I live in halls right now and even now, my mum refuses to accept the fact that she doesnt control every aspect of my life any more, my dad is more chill with it (or at least he acts that way). For them, any thing I do that doesn't involve uni work is considered bad and although they know they can't stop me from doing it, they still lecture me before I go out anywhere and I end up having huge arguments over the phone Like they just don't want to accept the fact that I can do what I want at uni and then compare me to themselves when they went at uni and keep on comparing uni life in the UK to India and say things like its not in our 'culture' for girls to go out and stuff despite living in the UK for almost 18 years now... they still can't accept that the lifestyle is completely different here.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thing is that I live in halls right now and even now, my mum refuses to accept the fact that she doesnt control every aspect of my life any more, my dad is more chill with it (or at least he acts that way). For them, any thing I do that doesn't involve uni work is considered bad and although they know they can't stop me from doing it, they still lecture me before I go out anywhere and I end up having huge arguments over the phone Like they just don't want to accept the fact that I can do what I want at uni and then compare me to themselves when they went at uni and keep on comparing uni life in the UK to India and say things like its not in our 'culture' for girls to go out and stuff despite living in the UK for almost 18 years now... they still can't accept that the lifestyle is completely different here.
What I’d recommend is try being a but calm with your parents. Even if they have moved to the UK ages ago, they still tend to have a mindset they used to have back home. See, they’re raised in a very protective environment where it’s important for the girls to be super cultured and stuff like that. At least your dad is a bit chill like you said, try to talk to him more about it. For me, it’s the opposite, my mum is pretty chilled about me being not so religious, however both my parents accepted the fact that I drink (although I had to cover it up by saying I don’t enjoy drinking). What I’d say is try to sugarcoat whatever you say as much as you can. If you went for a nightout, tell them you went for some uni event or something like that. Ngl, but what I’ve seen from my experience is that Indian parents tend to be more protective of their daughters more than their sons. Obviously the white people culture is way more chill as compared to the traditional Indian one, it is way too hard to tell that to the parents without them being like “Yeah we’re not like these white people, we have to respect our culture and tradition”
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What I’d recommend is try being a but calm with your parents. Even if they have moved to the UK ages ago, they still tend to have a mindset they used to have back home. See, they’re raised in a very protective environment where it’s important for the girls to be super cultured and stuff like that. At least your dad is a bit chill like you said, try to talk to him more about it. For me, it’s the opposite, my mum is pretty chilled about me being not so religious, however both my parents accepted the fact that I drink (although I had to cover it up by saying I don’t enjoy drinking). What I’d say is try to sugarcoat whatever you say as much as you can. If you went for a nightout, tell them you went for some uni event or something like that. Ngl, but what I’ve seen from my experience is that Indian parents tend to be more protective of their daughters more than their sons. Obviously the white people culture is way more chill as compared to the traditional Indian one, it is way too hard to tell that to the parents without them being like “Yeah we’re not like these white people, we have to respect our culture and tradition”
Yeah I do tell my parents where I go so that they at least trust me a little bit- I know that if I tell them where I'm going they then are a little more relaxed and don't try and poke around for details of what I did but if I was to go out without them knowing then I don't think they'd let me leave uni halls ever again lol. My dad acts chilled but I think he may be worse than my mum if he was to find out, the only reason he's more okay with me going out and doing what I want is because he stayed awaw from home for uni and also drinks secretly without his parents knowing but if he was to find out that I drink he'd go mad, like I did a shot with them (had to pretend it was my first lol) and he refused to let me do the full one but I did anyway and he was very unhappy with it and like I've mentioned that I do occasionally have mixers and my mum was like its okay to drink in a social setting but I could tell my dad was trying so hard to not look angry and I know he was. I have had to sugar coat many events and describe them as uni events even though they are club/bars, I can tell my parents are waiting for me to get caught in my own web and accidentally admit that I've been drunk/smoked/kissed guys and I think deep down, my mum is starting to get a hunch that I drink because whenever i tell her I've gone out and 'danced and talked to people' (when in reality I was blind drunk) she no longer hesitates in changing her tone and going are you SURE thats all you did I'm really worried that she's gonna work it out but I just want to have fun with my friends (who are all also asian and go through the same issue) and just relax on nights out. I have developed a strong liking for clubs and staying out late....... this is completely against what girls do (especially where I come from) and I know that if anyone other than my parents ever knew about this, they would always try and persuade my parents to try and get me to stay at home for uni and stop me from doing anything social...
I know India is a completely different society but idk by now I would have expected my parents to at least understand that drinking is part of uni culture, like I'm super happy they've embraced me going out and staying till late but I'm trying to see how I can get them to be more okay with me drinking frequently (like not yet enough to tell them I get drunk but enough so that they are okay with mixers and stuff). Obviously being born and brought up in this country, I am way more open about this kind of stuff and hope that I am the kind of parent whose child feels like they can open up about things like drugs, alcohol, virginity etc. but I just don't have that relationship with my parents and I used to feel guilty about getting drunk but now I'm just like whatever and don't bat an eyelid and thats the same with smoking (I've only done it once) and kissing people, I've just stopped feeling bad about going behind my parent's back and I don't know whether that's a good thing or not because they obviously trust me so much and expect me to behave in a way appropriate to them and here I am being the most disappointing child out of every one in my family. Like my cousins who are girls haven't even seen alcohol or had friends who were boys and here I am- I've been drunk more times than all of my family members combined, been touched/kissed by more guys than my entire family and have even gone as far as smoking/drugs I just feel like the fact that I don't feel bad about this anymore is somehow related to the fact that I perhaps don't respect my parents as much as I used to?? Like don't get me wrong I love them and have mad respect for them but there was a point in my life where I wouldn't have even considered looking at alcohol because it felt like a betrayal but now I'm just a totally different person....
I used to think it was the people I surround myself with at uni and that the uni lifestyle really changed me but I don't think its that because there's been no impact on my work ethic and I do well on exams and stuff and I think the independence at uni has finally let out this rebel side of me which I tried to suppress for so many years. I'm just seriously concerned that one day, its all gonna come back round and put me in a very difficult position and this is what has stopped me from getting too close to guys because even though I know my parents will be okay with me having a boyfriend (well eventually) I just don't think I'd be able to enjoy myself in a relationship purely because I would be thinking about what my parents would say about him.... I have tried to explain that uni is not just work all the time and people go out and that they can't expect me to still be following indian culture if I've been here my whole life but I can't seem to get through to them.....
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I do tell my parents where I go so that they at least trust me a little bit- I know that if I tell them where I'm going they then are a little more relaxed and don't try and poke around for details of what I did but if I was to go out without them knowing then I don't think they'd let me leave uni halls ever again lol. My dad acts chilled but I think he may be worse than my mum if he was to find out, the only reason he's more okay with me going out and doing what I want is because he stayed awaw from home for uni and also drinks secretly without his parents knowing but if he was to find out that I drink he'd go mad, like I did a shot with them (had to pretend it was my first lol) and he refused to let me do the full one but I did anyway and he was very unhappy with it and like I've mentioned that I do occasionally have mixers and my mum was like its okay to drink in a social setting but I could tell my dad was trying so hard to not look angry and I know he was. I have had to sugar coat many events and describe them as uni events even though they are club/bars, I can tell my parents are waiting for me to get caught in my own web and accidentally admit that I've been drunk/smoked/kissed guys and I think deep down, my mum is starting to get a hunch that I drink because whenever i tell her I've gone out and 'danced and talked to people' (when in reality I was blind drunk) she no longer hesitates in changing her tone and going are you SURE thats all you did I'm really worried that she's gonna work it out but I just want to have fun with my friends (who are all also asian and go through the same issue) and just relax on nights out. I have developed a strong liking for clubs and staying out late....... this is completely against what girls do (especially where I come from) and I know that if anyone other than my parents ever knew about this, they would always try and persuade my parents to try and get me to stay at home for uni and stop me from doing anything social...
I know India is a completely different society but idk by now I would have expected my parents to at least understand that drinking is part of uni culture, like I'm super happy they've embraced me going out and staying till late but I'm trying to see how I can get them to be more okay with me drinking frequently (like not yet enough to tell them I get drunk but enough so that they are okay with mixers and stuff). Obviously being born and brought up in this country, I am way more open about this kind of stuff and hope that I am the kind of parent whose child feels like they can open up about things like drugs, alcohol, virginity etc. but I just don't have that relationship with my parents and I used to feel guilty about getting drunk but now I'm just like whatever and don't bat an eyelid and thats the same with smoking (I've only done it once) and kissing people, I've just stopped feeling bad about going behind my parent's back and I don't know whether that's a good thing or not because they obviously trust me so much and expect me to behave in a way appropriate to them and here I am being the most disappointing child out of every one in my family. Like my cousins who are girls haven't even seen alcohol or had friends who were boys and here I am- I've been drunk more times than all of my family members combined, been touched/kissed by more guys than my entire family and have even gone as far as smoking/drugs I just feel like the fact that I don't feel bad about this anymore is somehow related to the fact that I perhaps don't respect my parents as much as I used to?? Like don't get me wrong I love them and have mad respect for them but there was a point in my life where I wouldn't have even considered looking at alcohol because it felt like a betrayal but now I'm just a totally different person....
I used to think it was the people I surround myself with at uni and that the uni lifestyle really changed me but I don't think its that because there's been no impact on my work ethic and I do well on exams and stuff and I think the independence at uni has finally let out this rebel side of me which I tried to suppress for so many years. I'm just seriously concerned that one day, its all gonna come back round and put me in a very difficult position and this is what has stopped me from getting too close to guys because even though I know my parents will be okay with me having a boyfriend (well eventually) I just don't think I'd be able to enjoy myself in a relationship purely because I would be thinking about what my parents would say about him.... I have tried to explain that uni is not just work all the time and people go out and that they can't expect me to still be following indian culture if I've been here my whole life but I can't seem to get through to them.....
I think that’s the case with many parents really, the best bet is to keep on doing what you’re doing atm. Like I know many people who’re in fact 2nd generation South Asians living in UK but their parents who have been born and brought here are still nudging them. It’s just the cultural difference really and honestly even if you’re born and brought up here, your parents have (I’m assuming) spent their childhood in India and that’s what’s gonna be etched in their memories throughout, they understand how different to India UK is but they want it to be that way for their kids. I’m still in Sixth Form so I’m with my parents at the moment and when I went for a nightout, I was texting my mum most of the times in the club telling her I was fine and ‘none of us was drinking’ and the only thing we were doing was going to different pubs in town (There’s this street with a lot of pubs which is just amazing during weekends so I told mum that we’re just enjoying the atmosphere). I remember my going back to India and my cousin started drinking and he dropped his grades, now my parents are afraid that since I’ve started drinking as well, I might have my grades affected as well and I have to constantly tell them I’m not a regular drinker. Basically, they’re going to be the type of parents like their own parents (although they’ll try to be better). I remember going out with my parents after getting a haircut, my dad, being a Sikh was unhappy with that and I while having our meal I ordered a ‘non alcoholic’ Sangria and he said “Well now you’re old enough, why don’t you have a normal Sangria?” And that really hit me 😂 But yeah, the best I can say is that accept how they’re behaving like cuz some things won’t change and try your best to hide your secrets from them, think that they won’t find out but equally try your best in doing amazing in uni so that they believe your story as well!
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